


i owe you

by dadmeron



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Near Death Experiences, Original Character(s), Pining, Slow Build, Slow Burn, duffers cant write women, her arc in s2 fucking sucks thats why i changed it tee hee, i'll add more tags eventually i'm just brain dead rn, nancy's a lesbian if u didn't catch on, pretty much canon except a new chara is added :), she breaks up w steve cus shes gay not cus she cheated on him no words, stelix warriors lemme hear yal make some noise!!!!!!!!!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-10-17 10:57:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 54,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17559065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dadmeron/pseuds/dadmeron
Summary: “Is this room 103?” the new kid asks. He’s wearing denim on denim.“Yes it is. You must be Felix,” Miss Smith answers. The kid--Felix--nods.“Everyone, this is Felix Hayes. He’s just moved from California. Make him feel welcome.” Felix is a bit tan, most likely from the Californian sun, and he’s got brown hair. Other than that, Steve doesn’t pay much attention to him.





	1. he doesn't smoke the same cigarettes as me

**Author's Note:**

> my ass is sweating typing this out but hello hello this is the first fic that i'm actually going to complete and like! it's not too shabby! the fic is basically a character study of steve and him being bi or whatever because I Love Him...
> 
> as expected, the main relationship in this fic is steve x an original male character who was created by my beautiful friend kait! felix wholely belongs to her and she and i made a relationship between steve and felix and it basically turned out likea dis! i love her a lot and she's so talented and creative and perfect for making mister felix. this fic wouldn't exist without you. i love you. mwah.
> 
> second and last shoutout goes to my wonderful beta adelaide! she read through this fic (well, what i have of it so far) from start to finish and i'm forever thankful for her and her helpful and hilarious comments. i adore you. kisses.
> 
> (for people who like to picture things, felix's faceclaim is michael j. fox in the 80s!)
> 
> (also, *** means a scene change and /// means a time skip, though in the same scene.)
> 
> (WAIT ONE LAST MENTION I DO HAVE A BUNCH OF PLAYLISTS FOR THIS FIC BECAUSE IT'S SUPER MUSIC CENTRIC! one which is basically the "official soundtrack" https://open.spotify.com/user/dylveons/playlist/6FQIqLbQiAfd959c6d6El4?si=6HY-ayWUTq6gOgDM0sHPeQ | songs that would be on their mixtapes https://open.spotify.com/user/dylveons/playlist/2xe1708sqF3UnSSrg14v9u?si=VcwXzrYtSs2VG0jTHlbfRw | and finally, more modern songs that fit them and their relationship https://open.spotify.com/user/dylveons/playlist/4geeeZaiLPojjarwmCeLh5?si=DViTr85PQB6oLZ_Fvbv9Kw i like listening to music while reading/writing so here's these for the people that are like me!)

Steve Harrington has never left Hawkins.

He was born and raised in this quaint little town, and not once has he stepped foot out of it. All his life, everything revolved around Hawkins.

At the age of six, his mother had bought him his first bike at the local toy store in town square. He was named the coolest kid in his kindergarten class, and everyone was envious of him. He didn’t know why, though. It was just a little tricycle. It didn’t strike him back then, but some kids didn’t have the wealthy parents Steve has.

At the age of ten, he had joined little league at Hawkins Elementary. He was quite skilled at baseball, and during the time he was captain on the team, his popularity began to grow. The coaches all praised him, he won trophies and medals, and all his peers liked him. His parents bought him all the newest gear, his shoes were always expensive, and he was the golden boy of the town, or at least he was called it. His father also began working more often when he was around this age, which meant he wasn’t home a lot. His mom would teach him to cook and fold laundry and take care of himself while they hired a babysitter who couldn’t care less about him except for when they were getting paid by his parents after calling him such a good little kid.

At the age of fifteen, he was knighted the king bee of Hawkins High. His ego had only just began inflating from there, but highschool twisted the knife. He was popular, he dressed nicely, puberty did him quite well, girls all crushed on him, boys were intimidated by him, and he had rich parents who indulged in his materialistic ways. Even with all these luxuries, Steve still felt alone. Unsatisfied. Most people only care about Steve because he’s popular. They don’t even know him and they make assumptions. Steve could be the biggest asshole on the face of planet earth and they wouldn’t even know. He could also be the sweetest, but people don’t bother to find that out either. But Steve can’t dawdle on that, so he keeps his head up and smiles for the crowd.

Now, Steve’s seventeen and he’s still stuck in Hawkins with all those factors to his upbringing and the memories that come with it--both good and bad ones. He’s learned to live with the standards and expectations set upon him, because it’s easier to do so than going out of his way to make a mark for himself. And a small town like this one is too judgemental for Steve’s liking. Albeit he doesn’t hate Hawkins, it’s where his house and friends are, it just doesn’t feel like home.

***

It’s eight o’clock on an autumn Monday morning, and Steve already knows he’s late for school. He had just woken up, his hair a disheveled mess. He glares at the clock on his bedside table--the sunlight filtering through the curtains causing him to squint and groan--then lazily rolls out from the warmth of his bed before forcing himself to pull on a pair of jeans and a thick knitted sweater his grandma gave him last Christmas. He spends a solid half hour in the bathroom attempting to fix his bed head, quickly brushing his teeth before running downstairs with his backpack slung on one shoulder and his books tucked under his other arm. His parents were nowhere to be spotted, a little handwritten note placed on the dining table right next to a box: _Your father and I had to leave for an urgent business trip. There’s cookies in the box. Désolé. Je t’aime, mon petit._ It’s a note from his mom. He smiles calmly to himself and sighs. Home alone again.

He doesn’t bother to make himself breakfast; he’s late enough and his mom left him cookies. That’ll cut it. Shoving a cookie into his mouth, he fits the box under his free arm, stupidly standing in the foyer and trying to unlock the door with his foot until he finally decides to put his things down and unlock it with his hands like a normal person. He slips into his _Nike Cortez_ and tugs the door shut with his leg and locks the door, hopping into his car and cascading out of his driveway and onto the road.

Fifteen minutes later, he’s scrambling into english class, his teacher audibly sighing.

“Late again, Mr. Harrington?”

“Don’t need to state the obvious, Miss Smith,” he quips, gaining a few giggles from the back of the classroom.

Miss Smith doesn’t care to argue with him, resuming her daily lesson.

Steve walks to the back of the class, earning a high five from Tommy and a sneer from Carol.

“For once Tommy’s earlier than you, Stevie,” Carol snickers.

“Shut it, Carol. My alarm didn’t go off. And don’t call me that.”

“Were ya busy jerkin’ off, Harrington?” That gets Steve to laugh. It also gets him to flip Tommy off. And gets Miss Smith snap at them for being loud.

Miss Smith is endeavouring to teach the class about _Romeo and Juliet,_ but no one is really paying attention. A majority of the students have already fallen asleep or have completely dissociated, the only people answering Miss Smith’s questions being the conspicuously bright students. Steve doesn’t really care for the lesson, but he does find the play itself quite sweet. Teenagers undyingly in love is a concept Steve can only dream for--he can’t help it, he’s a hopeless romantic.

Minutes pass by and Steve’s mindlessly doodling in his notebook, jotting down half-assed points about Miss Smith’s introduction on Shakespeare before his attention is diverted by a kid entering the class. He’s new, most definitely.

“Is this room 103?” the new kid asks. He’s wearing denim on denim.

“Yes it is. You must be Felix,” Miss Smith answers. The kid-- _Felix_ \--nods.

“Everyone, this is Felix Hayes. He’s just moved from California. Make him feel welcome.” Felix is a bit tan, most likely from the Californian sun, and he’s got brown hair. Other than that, Steve doesn’t pay much attention to him. (Felix answers almost every question Miss Smith asks about the play, and that’s all it takes to let Steve know that this kid is going to be quite the smartass.)

The day goes on like any other school day. He dozes off in class, he flirts with Nancy Wheeler, he smokes out back with Tommy and Carol then carpools them after the last bell rings. They’re jamming out to some metal song on the radio, Steve just laughing at how stupid they sound. Steve prefers classic rock. (He also has a guilty pleasure for pop.)

They’re half way to Steve’s place when they nearly run over a kid. _Denim on denim_.

“Woah! Watch it, dude!” Tommy shouts out the window.

The kid stumbles to his feet and stomps on the tip of his skateboard, the board whipping up into his hand. He removes his headphones.

“Sorry, but you also have to be careful. Keep your eyes on the road,” Felix says back. Steve hears Tommy blurt out a laugh.

“Don’t act all tough, Cali kid. You’re the one that came outta nowhere. Now go on your way, yeah?” Steve answers passive aggressively, tying it off with a forced smile and driving away.

“Asshole,” Carol mumbles. Steve agrees, but he always agrees with Tommy and Carol. Even if he knows they aren’t right.

***

His October goes a little bit like this: he continues to shamelessly flirt with Nancy Wheeler, Felix begins hanging out with Jonathan Byers--which gives Tommy and Carol a greater reason to pick on him, he hosts a handful of parties at his place, and he attends school. Nothing has changed, other than that he had made a new enemy. Enemy by association, at the most.

November rolls around and he starts hooking up with Nancy. Steve labels them as hook ups, but he might be falling for her with every kiss and lingering touch they share. Tommy and Carol tease him about his type being “small brunettes who could kick his ass,” and they’re admittedly not wrong. His last real (real meaning dating a girl for over two weeks) girlfriend had been Amy Parker, who had fit that criteria. She was taller than Nancy, though had the same chocolate locks and doe eyes Steve seems to like so much. Except she was annoying and controlling as shit. He dumped her after a month. He was in the eighth grade.

Steve and Nancy officially date after Steve asked her to be his girlfriend on a date to the movies, Tommy and Carol keep fucking, and they (other than Nancy, of course. And her friend Barb) all keep picking on Jonathan and Felix. Steve doesn’t really have any genuine issues with Felix or Jonathan, he just does it to please Tommy and Carol. He feels especially bad about picking fun at Jonathan when his younger brother Will disappeared. Yet he still does it. It only ever felt good when he found out about the pretentious creep taking pictures of Nancy and his friends without them even knowing. Calling Tommy and Carol his friends leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, for some reason. Tommy used to be nice, him being his first best friend. But now, Tommy just sticks around him because he’s popular.

Barb disappears, too. Nancy gets distant, and Steve respects her. She’s lost her friend. He’s not going to be an ass about that. The entire situation rubs him the wrong way, though. They all assume that she just ran away from home, but Nancy had told him Barb wouldn’t do that. He gets a weird feeling whenever he passes by his backyard pool. He doesn’t exactly know what that means.

It only goes downhill from there. One night, when he went to secretly _(“Stealthy, like a ninja.”)_ visit Nancy, he caught none other than Jonathan Byers in her bedroom, the two of them cloaked in towels. Insecurity had rushed through him and his blood had begun boiling. This could be one of those it isn’t what it looks like moments, but Steve is too mad and jealous and upset to be thinking rationally. Steve had told Tommy and Carol, and they just added more fuel to the fire.

The following day, he and his friends impulsively vandalize the local theatre. He’s spray painting the sign that displays a list of all the movies playing: “Nancy the Slut Wheeler,” it reads out, and Tommy’s laughing his ass off about it. He’s angry, and he doesn’t care about what they’d just done. What he’s just done. It’s obvious that Jonathan and Nancy slept together. Even if he didn’t bother to ask Nancy for confirmation.

It doesn’t take long for Nancy and Jonathan to find them huddled in the alleyway by the theatre, the others whispering among themselves before Steve called them out. They argued, Steve got his ass kicked by Jonathan and a slap across his face from Nancy. The slap Nancy had given him hurt him much more, even though Jonathan made him bleed. Jonathan had only fought him in self defense, and Steve had been the one to persuade him into fighting in the first place. Steve had commented on his family life and his missing brother’s ordeal, so he had it in for him. Nancy, on the other hand, was different. Steve felt the amount of devastation Nancy was feeling through the hard smack on his cheek, and it’s the worst feeling Steve has ever felt.

The fight between Jonathan and Steve had gotten rough, Steve pinned to the ground while Jonathan punched and punched and punched. Steve, Tommy, and Carol made a run for it once the police arrived, the trio successfully fleeing and heading to the nearest convenience store. Steve stays silent during the drive to the shop, taking this time to reevaluate all of his life choices. Like how his friends aren’t really his friends. They’re just douchebags who leech on Steve’s popularity.

Steve nearly gets his ass kicked again, this time by Tommy, when he calls him an asshole, but he runs away--like what he’s been constantly doing this entire day. Tommy was a dick anyways, and the last time he was actually nice was in middle school. And he’s never liked Carol. He only spoke to her because Tommy was always getting in her pants, and as a result they were never seen without one another. Dropping them had pushed a weight off Steve’s shoulders, but he still feels uneasy.

While driving home, he bumps into Felix by the diner nearest to the sheriff’s station. The kid looks infuriated. “Hey, asshole! I heard what you did to Jon and Nance!” he shouts, stepping off his skateboard.

_God damn it._

Steve steps out of his car, slamming the driver’s door shut and plodding over to Felix. Felix had probably heard it from Nancy, the two were friends, but he didn’t know they were close enough to share information like that. “I saw Nancy coming out of the cops station and she told me everything. You’re so damn full of yourself, you know that?” Felix snaps, rolling his sleeves up. He’s right. Steve doesn’t accept that yet.

Steve’s tired from all the beatings he’s gotten today and he just wants to head home and sleep until his wounds heal. “Fuck off, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“Boo hoo, Harrington. Someone needs to kick some sense into you anyways. They didn’t even sleep together, if that’s what you thought. You came up with conclusions and hurt her. You’re an asshole, and for what?”

Steve blinks slowly, inhales heavily, then swings his arm, his fist connecting with Felix’s jaw. He gets a kick in the shin and a punch in the side in return. “Shut up!” Steve manages to yell before Felix throws another punch, to his cheek this time. The kid is fast, despite him being smaller than Steve. Steve’s got a few inches on him, but he’s too weak to fully fight back. Instead, Steve grabs Felix’s precious skateboard and snaps it in half underneath his foot. The sound of wood breaking and heavy breathing are all to be heard. Felix looks like he’s about to cry. Steve feels like he’s about to cry, too.

Without a word, Steve hops back into his car and practically floors it, speeding away until he reaches his house. When he’s home, he doesn’t leave his car. He just sits in the driver’s seat and basks in his own guilt and shit hits him. Hard. Felix was right. He is an asshole, he thought too fast and ruined his relationship with Nancy. He has no friends now either. Yeah, he has other acquaintances but they don’t have much sentimental value to him. He hasn’t had a real friend since Tommy in the second grade. He doesn’t even deserve a real friend anymore. Steve Harrington is an asshole. But he doesn’t have to be.

Soon after his almost-breakdown in his car, he drives back to the theatre. There are already two men there to clean up his mess. It’s his mess and Steve wants to clean it up himself.

Steve awkwardly stands himself by the ladder one of the men is perched up on. “Need a hand?”

The man currently cleaning up the sign looks down at him. He has a shocked expression, glancing at the other man. It’s probably because Steve’s face has layers of cuts and bruises from three separate fights. Third time’s a charm.

“Did you have something to do with this?” the man asks.

“I just…” Steve pauses. He did. “I wanna help.” The man contemplates for a moment before stepping down the ladder and switching places with Steve.

He’s off to a good start.

The spray paint isn’t permanent so it takes a relatively short time for it to fully wash away, Steve’s hands now stained a fluorescent red after rubbing at it with a wet rag for ten minutes. The men thank him for his work and he purses his lips and mumbles a “no problem,” before leaving and walking to the sports store. He’s already in the plaza, so why not.

A little bell jingles above him as he enters the shop, the aroma of rubber and some type of body spray filling his nose, making it scrunch up. It’s small, yet filled to the brim with sports equipment and memorabilia. Hockey sticks of different lengths are lined up against the back wall, an array of sneakers are arranged at the front, basketballs and soccer balls and every other type of ball used in sports are stacked in boxes in one aisle, and skateboards are hung up on racks by his left. Bingo.

He scans the skateboards as if he has any idea on what he’s looking for. Steve has never skateboarded before, he says it’s not his thing but in reality he’s just scared he’ll faceplant into the ground. The boards are all uniquely coloured, strange designs and patterns across them. He spots a board decorated with purple, pink, and white stripes. There are little green palm trees adorning the bottom of the board and a large orange circle smack dab in the middle behind the trees. It looks like the sun. The board’s motif reminds him of California, which is where Felix is from.

Without hesitation, he buys the board and a set of matching wheels, the price of it never even coming to mind. He broke what he thinks is Felix’s only mode of transportation, and he needs to compensate for it as soon as he can. He walks out of the store with the skateboard delicately held under his arm, setting the board in the trunk of his car and drives to Felix’s residence. (He’s picked Nancy up from his place before when they had a project to do together.)

Steve pulls up into Felix’s driveway, slipping out of his car and knocking on the front door. It opens, Felix in the doorway, but he slams it shut before Steve can even open his mouth. “Fine,” Steve grumbles to himself before running back to his car to grab a pen and a ripped sheet of paper.

_“I’m sorry. Sorry for being an asshole. Sorry for breaking your board. I was mad and it wasn’t right for me to let it out on you. I’m hoping this makes up for it. -Steve ‘Asshole’ Harrington”_

His handwriting is messy and the ink is textured by the grainy top of the board, a couple of blue scribbles to cross out the words he accidentally spelt wrong. He takes the note and heads back to the front door, placing the board and the box of wheels on the porch and setting the sheet on top of it. He finds a loose rock and rests it on the paper so the wind doesn’t blow it away. Steve knocks on the door one last time and shouts “I’m sorry!” before leaving to go to Jonathan’s place.

His apology to Jonathan doesn’t even get to him when he knocks on the rickety door of the Byers’ home. The house looks… like a mess. There’s a sloppily sealed hole by the window, and he thinks he can see Christmas lights span the area inside of the house. It gives Steve a weird chill; the house looks straight out of a horror movie.

The door swings open and just as he’s about to spit apologies, he’s met with Nancy.

Oh, man.

The rest of the night makes Steve feel like he’s in _The Shining_ except with a slimey flower looking monster in alternative to Jack Nicholson. He was required to use his baseball skills to kick said slimey flower looking monster’s ass in order to save Jonathan. Steve didn’t even get an explanation of what the fuck was happening, he was just put into action and had to deal with it. He went from kicking to saving Jonathan’s ass in the span of a day. Their tension is cleared by the end of it, and he eventually apologizes to the both of them. Thank God they accepted his apology. If they didn’t, Steve wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

Steve finds out about the whole Upside Down debacle with this kid with a number for a name, and the monster they had encountered was given the moniker “the Demogorgon.” It’s later revealed to him that Barb was killed by the Demogorgon in his pool, which explains the unsettling sensation he always gets from passing or even looking at his pool. He was also bribed by the government to never speak a word of these few weeks. He can keep his mouth shut, but he’s not sure he wants to keep thoughts of a girl _dying_ in _his_ pool to himself. Steve keeps his lips zipped and his thoughts to himself anyways.

***

December is when things finally settle down. He and Tommy still butt heads whenever they see each other, but Steve feels much better about himself. Tommy chose to stay a grade A douchebag, and that isn’t Steve’s problem anymore. He and Nancy are back in a stable relationship, he and Jonathan are friends now, and he’s made new friends at school as well. He’s also seen Felix with the skateboard he bought him, which puts a smile on his face.

***

The snow is finally starting to melt in mid March.

Mid March is also when Felix starts hitching rides on Steve’s car. Not that he minds it. They take the same route to school, and Felix just nonchalantly hangs onto the back of Steve’s car, his skateboard rolling beneath him. Steve’s fine with it as long as he doesn’t leave a scratch on his car. When they get to the school grounds, Felix lets go of his car and rides away to whatever classes he has. They don’t talk much. The closest they get to a conversation is asking what the homework was for english class.

***

“Steve! over here!” calls Nancy, a bright grin on her face. On her left is Jonathan and on her right is an empty seat with Steve’s name written all over it.

The lights are dim and the show is about to commence, Steve excusing himself when squeezing past rows of people to get to his girlfriend. Hawkins High was holding a talent show, and Steve had nothing else to do tonight so Nancy invited him and he willingly agreed. Nancy can make him agree to anything, to be honest.

“Why are we here again?” Steve whispers, yet he receives loud shushes from the crowd around him.

“Felix is in the show, he asked me to come. And my friends are in stage crew, too,” Nancy answers. Steve hums.

The show begins when an obnoxious freshman walks onto stage, opening the talent show with the stereotypical “welcome to the show we hope you enjoy,” bullshit. Her voice was patronizing and high pitched, Steve simply making a face that says “who cares.” The acts went on, some people performing dance routines, others creating illusions and magic tricks, and there were also loads of musical performances.

Seven acts later, Felix finally walks on stage holding a stereo in one hand and a red guitar in the other. Stage crew sets up a microphone, the freshman introduces him, and Felix rolls his eyes at the shitty introduction. Steve laughs at that, even though no one else caught it.

The chords to _Satisfaction_ by the Rolling Stones echo through the gymnasium, Felix’s fingers dancing effortlessly across the fretboard, his other hand picking at the strings and perfectly mirroring the riff to the song. When he commences the verse, a smile forms on Steve’s lips. Felix’s voice is a bit raspy and mellow, giving the song change of sound. A good one. His performance is pretty damn amazing. Along with the spectacular musical skills, Felix is charismatic on stage, moving around during the guitar solos and talking to the crowd as if he were engaging them. It worked because by the end of the show, Steve has the song stuck in his head.

After wrapping up the talent show and parents begin leaving, Nancy drags Jonathan and Steve backstage to greet Felix.

“You did amazing, Felix!” Nancy chimes, offering him a tight hug. They’re around the same height, which Steve finds pretty funny. Jonathan gives him a pat on the shoulder and later tags along with Nancy to talk to her other friends who were a part of stage crew.

“You did great, man. I love the Rolling Stones,” Steve muses.

“Thanks, I messed up a chord but it’s fine.”

“I didn’t even notice.”

“Really?” A bright smile blossoms on Felix’s face. Steve smiles back.

“I only came here cus’ Nancy wanted me to, but I’m glad I stayed. You’re actually pretty cool.” Steve shrugs.

“ _Actually?_ ” Felix scoffs. Steve snorts.

“Uh huh. You gotta teach me some stuff on the guitar one day. In exchange for hitching rides.”

“Oh yeah, shoot. Sorry I do that.”

Steve holds out his hand for Felix to take. “Hey, it’s cool. Just give me guitar lessons and I might even let you inside my car. I wanna try and serenade Nance,” Steve says with a smile.

Felix shakes his hand in agreement.

***

The first time Felix actually gets a ride in Steve’s car is a week after the talent show. It’s seven thirty AM on a rainy Monday morning and Steve is definitely not going to let Felix out in the rain. He chucks his bag into the back of his car and drives to Felix’s place, his back hunched forward and eyes watching the road intently, the rain slicking up the cement and making it difficult to tell where the streetlines were. At his arrival, he parks his car in the driveway and honks the car horn to alert Felix and soon after, he’s coming out the front door with his skateboard above his head to substitute for an umbrella.

“You don’t need your skateboard, it’s gonna be raining all day, dumbass,” Steve remarks as Felix slips into the passenger seat and fastens his seatbelt.

“That went in one ear and out the other.”

Steve fondly rolls his eyes and turns on the radio. Shitty pop music--even Steve can admit it’s bad because he has taste--pumps from the speakers and he can feel Felix physically cringing. He doesn’t say anything, though.

***

Steve’s relationship with music is nonexistent, for the most part. He’s only ever laid a finger on his grandfather’s old fender guitar, which was handed down to him when he was thirteen. Even then, he only played it once or twice, and it usually only lasted fifteen minutes before he’d give up and go outside to play baseball. So, he’s admittedly intimidated and nervous when Felix comes over with his trusty red guitar and begins demonstrating an “easy” riff for Steve to mimic. He’s got a reputation to keep up and he has the mindset of having to impress everybody he meets, so he might throw a tantrum if he fucks this up.

“Here, we can start with a G chord,” Felix says after finishing the demo of the riff. Felix glances up at Steve for a moment before placing his fingers on the fretboard of his guitar, his fingertips stretched out across the strings.

Steve squints and attempts to mirror Felix’s hand position, pushing his fingers down on the strings with all his might.

“Hey, you don’t have to press down so hard, you’re not trying to break the guitar, you’re trying to play it,” Felix snorts, bringing his hand up to Steve’s and pulling it back to relax it. Steve flinches when Felix touches him, not expecting the boy to grab his hand so quickly.

“Okay, cool. Now what?” Steve asks, his free hand tapping on the surface of the guitar body.

“You pick at the strings. Start like this.” Felix plucks the strings from the thickest string to the thinnest, the guitar emitting a flat tune. It’s not connected to an amp at the moment, so the guitar is relatively quiet.

Without any rhythm whatsoever, Steve copies Felix’s example and picks at the strings. His riff sounds messier than Felix’s, but it’s his first try and he at least played the correct note.

“That was good for your first time, man. Usually, people get pissy at the guitar for no reason,” Felix chuckles.

“Me? Pissy? Doesn’t sound like me,” Steve jokes, scoffing through his nose.

“You’re tellin’ me.”

Before Steve can retaliate, Felix strums his guitar to shut him up. “And that was strumming. You don’t strum for riffs. You pluck for ‘em like you did just a bit ago.”

Steve mindlessly strums the guitar, nodding at whatever Felix says next.

“Try a C chord.” Felix places his hands on the fretboard for a quick moment before taking Steve’s hand himself and setting his fingers on the strings. Steve could’ve done that by himself, but alright.

“Keep it there, and pluck at it like this.” Instead of going thick to thin on the plucking, he develops a plucking pattern similar to the demonstration he did.

“Wait, can you do that again, you went too fast,” Steve says, lost by the second pick he did.

“Sure, sorry.” Felix plucks again, this time slower. Steve studies the pattern for a minute, then does it himself. It doesn’t come out as fast or as clean as Felix’s riff, but it’s something. And Felix is visibly satisfied, so Steve’s goal of impressing him has scored.

For the next two hours, they work on the first part of the guitar riff in _Paint It, Black_. Steve’s a little stubborn and mean about his quips and comments to Felix’s lesson, but it’s only because one, he’s jealous of Felix’s expertise, two, he’s impatient and just wants to play the damn thing already, and three, there were a lot of awkward silences that he ended up filling up with snarky remarks or just plain talking about anything. It’s the first time they’ve ever hung out together outside of school or in Steve’s car, so it’s inevitably a bit awkward. They’d accidentally clink guitars or bump elbows, and when they took a break to eat, they only had a minute conversation. Their interactions aren’t a surprise, because they won’t automatically become best friends after a few car rides and shaking hands at a talent show. But they’re getting to the friends level, and Steve can feel it.

***  


Two weeks pass and Felix is clearly fed up with Steve’s music choices.

“Steve, your music is terrible,” he finally says out of nowhere. It’s Friday afternoon, they’re heading to Felix’s for their fourth guitar session. He also needs help on chemistry homework because he’s a dumbass and Nancy is busy babysitting Mike.

“Hey! My music taste is FINE, Jukeboy.”

“It’s really not, I can make you a new mixtape with stuff that we can both actually bare to listen to. Wait--did you just call me Jukeboy? What does that even mean?”

“I did. It’s like a pun on jukebox, because… uhh… you never shut up about music,” Steve stutters his words and Felix remains unconvinced, “And don’t be mean, I could listen to _Africa_ until the day I die.” Steve smirks, proud of himself for the new nickname, and reminisces about the time he and Nance made out to that song.

“We’re scrapping the guitar lesson and I’m making you a mixtape instead,” Felix retorts.

“Woah, come on!”

“Hey, I promise it’ll be fun.”

They drive to Felix’s place, and Steve realizes he’s never really been inside his house before. They’d normally go to Steve’s to practice, and this is the first time they’re practicing here because Steve’s parents are home and his dad doesn’t like the noise. Felix’s house feels warm and inviting. There are pictures of Felix scattered across the walls, an old floral print wallpaper behind it that reminded Steve of his grandma’s house. It’s endearing. His house is on the smaller size, the kitchen to the left and an open living room right beside it. Steve unlaces his sneakers and steps out of them, observing the interior design one last time before following Felix up to his room.

His room is everything Steve expects; tattered band posters plastered up against the walls, a jar full of bottle caps on top of his desk, his guitar displayed on a stand by his bed, stacks of vinyls and CDs and cassettes in a crate beside his guitar, and trophies that look like awards for mathletes and science fairs. It’s small and cute and much neater than Steve’s own room.

“What’s up with the bottle caps?” Steve asks, pointing to the jar.

“I like to collect ‘em.”

“Noted.”

Felix plops down onto his bed and balances his skateboard on his side table. “Let’s get started on chemistry then we can start on the mixtapes.”

“Can we save chemistry homework for later? I doubt you’d wanna do it over making me a playlist,” Steve asks, faking a pout and corrugating his brows. Felix just groans and replaces his stack of textbooks with a stack of cassettes, Steve proudly taking a seat next to him and marveling at his large collection of music. The album covers stare back at him, his eyes darting from cassette to cassette: Queen, the Rolling Stones, Prince, Michael Jackson, the Beatles, and tons of other artists Steve doesn’t even recognize.

“Holy shit, how do you have this much music?” Steve says, visibly astonished.

“My uncle works at a record store. Now, choose your favourites.”

Steve purses his lips, fingers grazing the plastic containers. He selects a handful of Queen, the Rolling Stones, Wham!, Corey Hart, Hall & Oates, and DEVO albums, setting them down in rows by the foot of Felix’s bed.He hears Felix snicker and raises an eyebrow, a puzzled expression on his face. “Hey--what?” Steve blurts out, poking a finger at Felix’s arm.

“Nothing, your music choice just makes sense. Pop and classic rock, not as bad as I thought,” Felix replies, a dopey grin on his lips.

“I have taste.”

“Uh huh.”

Felix grabs the albums and stations them on his side table, then picks out a few more that Steve can’t recognize. He’s been meaning to listen to new music anyways. “You ever make a mixtape before?” Felix asks as he steps over to his cassette player, looking for what Steve assumes is an empty tape.

“Nope. What got you into music anyways?” Steve shifts his position and settles on laying on his side, watching Felix fiddle with the machine.

“I’ve always enjoyed music. I got my first guitar when I was like, six, and I still have her to date,” He points to his red guitar. “I really love it. I’d wanna be a rockstar one day, but the music industry is tough as hell.”

“I think you’d be the best rockstar out there. Well, second place to Freddie Mercury.”

“I’ll take it. Now come over here and I’ll show you how mixtapes work.”

Steve complains but slides off the bed, standing next to Felix and crossing his arms against his chest. “Do your magic, Jukeboy.”

“It’s pretty easy until you make a mistake and have to scrap the entire thing. Basically, ya just put the cassette with the song you want on the left cartridge and put the empty one on the right,” He does what he just said, slipping _Hot Space_ into the player, “Aaand you skip to the song you want, press play, and press record on the empty one.” He clicks the designated buttons and the stereo crackles to life, the sound of the tapes turning and _Cool Cat_ reverberating through his room.

Steve hums and lays back down on his bed, folding his arms behind his head, letting Freddie Mercury’s falsetto ring through his ears.

_“Oh, you used to be a mean kid, oh, making such a deal of life. Oh, you were wishing and hoping and waiting to really hit the big time. But did it happen? Happen, no! You're speeding too fast, slow down. Slow down, you'd better slow down, slow down.”_

Steve bites his lip, the lyrics very much so resonating with him. He feels the mattress dip in and turns his head to see Felix laying by his side.

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost. Wait--oh my god is there something behind me--” Felix yelps, his head basically snapping back to look behind him. Steve barks a laugh and shakes his head.

“No, dumbass, I just feel this song. Damn you, Freddie.”

“Good, I thought there was some demon behind me. And yeah, this song reminds me of you a lot.”

He smiles at that and the two of them continue to switch out cassettes and record the songs. They jam out and dance and sing along to every single song, Steve using a hairbrush as a microphone and Felix plucking at his guitar to the beat of the music. Steve nearly breaks his bed by jumping on it during the operatic section of _Bohemian Rhapsody_ , Felix scolding him for it and Steve spitting apologies that morph into a laughing fit.

At the end of the day, they don’t even get to Steve’s chemistry homework.

***

Two months later, Steve has a crate in the trunk of his car filled with the mixtapes Felix made him _(“Felix, thank you but I think I have enough mixtapes for my entire lifetime.” “It’s okay, Steve. I owe you anyways. For the car rides. And I’m just doing anyone who goes in your car and has to listen to your shitty music a favour--” “HEY!”)._ About ninety percent of them is new music Steve has never listened to, and Felix is really good at finding songs that he’s come to adore and listen to on repeat, singing them at the top of his lungs in the car or in his bedroom when he’s home alone. He’s even helped Steve make Nancy a mixtape (it’s full of cheesy pop love songs), which she ended up loving. Steve and Felix continue to hang out, and their hang outs go from once or twice a week to every day. Steve likes Felix a lot, and he’s much better than the old friends he had. Throughout the eight months he’s known Felix, it’s safe to say that Felix is now Steve’s best friend. Yes, they had a rough start, but that’s okay. People change, and Steve changed for the best. And it’s all thanks to Nancy and Felix.

***

“Oh my God, I think I’m going to die.”

Steve is gripping onto Felix’s shoulders with every ounce of his strength, his entire body clad in protective gear. A helmet that’s a bit too small clings to his head, safety pads shielding his elbows and knees. His legs wobble atop Felix’s skateboard.

“Don’t be such a drama queen, you big idiot. It’s not even that hard!”

“It might be easy for you because you fuckin’ know how to skate!”

Steve feels Felix’s shoulders bounce under his hands as he laughs at him, his balance slowly starting to deteriorate when the skateboard begins to move side to side.

“Jukeboy! Why did I even agree to do this!”

“Fine! Fine!” Felix contains his laughter, “Okay, you ever ridden a scooter? Skateboarding is _basically_ that but without the handle. You’re not gonna get anywhere if you just stand there like that.”

“I think I caught that.” He snaps back sarcastically, cautiously stepping off the skateboard and removing his clammy hands from Felix’s shoulder.

It’s a hot summer day in June, and Steve agreed to go skateboarding with Felix in exchange for him buying them both ice cream after. He regrets it because now he looks like an absolute idiot in his safety gear _and_ he can’t even skate. But it’s fine. At least he hasn’t fallen yet.

“Instead of standing on it like that, stand on it like a scooter: one foot on the board and the other on the ground,” Felix informs, Steve doing so, “Great, now push yourself with the foot that’s on the ground,” Steve starts to push himself, he and the board moving in unison, “Okay, okay, now once you’ve gained speed, quickly put your foot on the board.” His speed accelerates and he lifts his foot and steps on the board. “I think I’m getting the hang of it!” Steve’s excited, he’s balanced and actually moving at a fair speed, the breeze hitting his skin and cooling him down, hair blowing in the wind--he doesn’t know how to stop.

“Jukeboy, how the HELL do I stop!”

“Oh shit--”

Felix runs after him but Steve ends up hitting a ramp, the skateboard colliding with concrete, which results in Steve flying off the board straight onto his ass. It could be worse. Steve just flops onto the cement and lays there defeated, arms and legs spread out like a starfish.

“Oh my God, Steve are you okay, I’m sorry!” Felix sounds genuinely worried and Steve finds that endearing.

“No. I’ve died. You’re talking to a corpse.” Steve can hear Felix mumbling “oh my God,” under his breath, a goofy smile threatening his own lips.

“Shut up--but seriously, are you alright?”

“I’m fine, _mom_. It was fun while it lasted, though. I’m never doing it again but it was fun. I’ll stick to letting you do all the work.” Felix holds out his hand and Steve grasps his arm, the other boy pulling him up to his feet. He brushes his hands on his shorts, dusting off any debris from the ground that got caught in the fabric before wrapping an arm around Felix’s shoulder and fluffing up his hair.

“Ew, get off me! You’re sweaty and gross!”

“It’s payback for letting me fall!”

“Woah, that’s not my fault! You’re the one that stormed off!”

“No--well you weren’t… fast enough? Okay, fine.”

Steve sheepishly lets him go, Felix scrunching up his nose and making a disgusted face at him. He snickers at that and playfully punches Felix’s arm, the duo heading back to Steve’s car. They’ve been here for over an hour, Steve essentially just watching Felix dash down the skate ramps and do kickflips for the first thirty minutes until Felix spent ten minutes begging for Steve to try and skate. _(“You promised you’d try!” “Ah, ah, ah, Jukeboy. YOU promised ice cream if I came. And I’m here.” “Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease, Stevie!” “FINE--fine!” He doesn’t even acknowledge the nickname he once hated.)_

They sit in the car for a little bit, letting the hot air escape and keeping all doors open, before driving to the newly opened Starcourt mall. The neon sign exhibiting the mall’s name welcomes them as they attempt to find a parking space, the two of them arguing about where they should and shouldn’t park _(“Steve you just passed by an empty spot,” “Yeah, but it’s too far from the entrance,” “Jesus Christ, it’s not even that far!”)_.

After what seemed like forever, they finally find a spot that they can both agree on.

“Can I get a chocolate vanilla swirl with cookie crunch please?” Steve says after contemplating his choices.

“And a french vanilla in a cone. With sprinkles,” Felix adds on, pulling out a ten dollar bill from his wallet, handing it to the cashier.

The parlour, Scoops Ahoy, is air conditioned and Steve’s trying to resist the urge to sprawl out on the cold tile floor. The shop is quite small, a few stools lining a bar-esque table to the left, miscellaneous tables scattered through the area, and a counter with a freezer displaying buckets of ice cream alongside it. The walls are plated with black and white checkered tiling, the tables sapphire in colour to accompany the nautical aesthetic. The employees’ sailor uniforms really tie the parlour’s theme together.

“I’d never work here. Imagine having to wear a damn sailor costume and say ‘ahoy’ everytime someone steps in. Look at how sad they look,” Steve whispers, holding a hand by his mouth and eyeing the miserable looking workers.

“It’s not _that_ bad. But now I’d kill to see you in that uniform,” Felix teases.

“Never in a million years.”

They bicker for a while, recounting stories about their experiences with sailing and fishing and anything else that has to do with the ocean.

“Here’s your ice creams, have a great day, mateys.” The worker sighs, the boys taking their assigned cones.

“Yeah, I definitely don’t wanna work here.”

The boys head back to Steve’s car after they finish their desserts, repeating the procedure of sitting in the car for five minutes with the doors open to let the hot air out. Slamming the door shut, Steve sticks his keys into the car and twists them to start the engine, but all it does is gurgle and dissipate.

“Damn it, piece of shit!” Steve groans, slamming his fist onto the car horn.

“Give it here,” Felix says, pushing Steve out of the way.

“What? What are you gonna do? The car’s trashed.”

“Stop complaining.”

Steve huffs and lets Felix sit in the front seat, standing outside against the left side of the car. It only takes two minutes for the engine to rumble back alive and Felix to grin at Steve with the smuggest expression.

“What the hell? What’d you do?”

“I like to tinker with cars on my spare time. The engine was just overheated so I pulled a little trick my gramps taught me. Stop acting like every minor inconvenience is the end of the world, idiot. If your car ever crashes down on you again just give me a call.”

“Okay, why the hell are you so good at everything? Like, is there something you aren’t good at? My ego is starting to get insecure.” Steve slips back into the driver's seat and clips his seatbelt in.

“Shut up, I’m not good at everything. I can’t draw or paint, I’m not too good at sports--”

“Whatever, you’re still good at everything.”

“I just listed things I’m not good at--”

“Smartass.”

“Maybe I am.”

Steve groans and punches Felix in the shoulder, Felix laughing as they drive home.

***

“Steve, baby, you didn’t format this right,” Nancy tuts, pointing her finger at the half crumpled sheet of paper which happens to be his college application. Steve lays his head in her lap, staring at her chin as the stinging sound of cicadas occupy his ears.

“Huh? Oh yeah, forgot about that,” Steve responds once he finally snapped out of the haze the heat put him in. It’s the end of June, and Steve still has jack shit for his college application. And, he still doesn’t know what he wants to do after high school.

Sitting up, he spins around, his bedsheets twirling under him, to face his girlfriend.

“College applications aren’t until next January, Nance. Can we do something else? I really appreciate the help but I’d rather be kissing you. Or doing literally anything but this.” Nancy gives him that “oh my God,” expression that appears on her face whenever Steve does or says anything stupid: a crooked smile, eyes narrowed, and eyebrows furrowed upwards. It’s really cute. Everything Nancy does is really cute.

“Steve, come on, your writing is getting better and I don’t want you to push it to the last minute.”

“But pushing things to the last minute gives me more time to improve, right?”

She gives him that look again.

“You’re an idiot, Steve Harrington,” she says, but compliantly puts the papers down and shoves them into the drawer by Steve’s desk.

“Your final essay better blow me and the colleges off our feet, you hear me?”

“All ears.” He puts his hands up like he’s been caught, then snakes his arms around Nancy’s petite waist and picks her up, sprinting down the stairs and into the living room as Nancy screams and punches at his arms, her laughter and little “put me down, Steve!”s filling his head. It brings a smile to his face.

He sets her down on the couch, flopping down beside her and smacking a wet kiss onto her cheek. He feels Nancy cringe, yet grin, and wraps an arm around her shoulders, reaching forward to grab the TV remote.

Nancy truly is the first girl he’s ever sincerely loved. Everything about her drives him off the walls, and he loves her for it. He has every feature of her face memorized; the light dusting of freckles atop her cheeks, her sharp jawline, button nose, big blue eyes that make her look like a doll, and her waves of chestnut brown hair that seem to always compliment her face no matter the style it’s in. She’s just perfect like that. She’s helped him become the best version of himself, and he knows she’ll always be there for him as he will for her. He’ll eternally think she’s too good to be true.

“I love you,” he says spontaneously, his eyes tearing away from the screen and onto her.

She smiles, her eyes twinkling. “I love you too, Steve.”

Steve plants a kiss on top of her head and resumes watching the movie on the tv, pulling Nancy closer and sighing contently. He could stay like this forever.

***

He curses July for separating he and Nancy, even though he knows it physically can’t do that.

The two of them haven’t been hanging out together, Nancy constantly busy with Jonathan or her friends. _(“Nancy, can we hang out tomorrow?” “Sorry, babe, I’ve already got plans with Addy, I’ll call you when I’m free. I love you.” She never calls him.)_ It doesn’t irk him, though. It really shouldn’t because she has a life of her own, but his insecurities can get to his head and taunt him about their relationship.

Frustratedly frowning at his blank ceiling, he pulls his blankets over his nose, scrunching up his eyebrows and twisting in his bed so that he switches his gaze to his alarm clock. It reads one twenty three AM.

Steve jolts upwards, shaking his head at the whiplash he idiotically gave himself from sitting up too fast.

“Hmph,” Steve says to himself then retreats from his bed, yanking on a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt with the Queen logo emblazoned on the front of it. He stuffs his sunglasses into his pocket, despite it being nearly two am in the morning, and makes his way to his car. He digs through the crate of mixtapes in his trunk, pulling out the one labelled “go to sleep, Steve,” a mix Felix made him when he requested for a playlist that would help him get his mind off things. He sticks the cassette into the built-in cassette player, fastens his seatbelt and takes a trip to the Hayes abode. _Blackbird_ resonates through the car.

“Felix,” he harshly whispers, knocking on the glass of his window. Steve’s perched on the tree conveniently planted right by Felix’s bedroom, his entire body hugging the branch he’s sat on.

He can see movement in the dark and soon after, a distressed Felix popping his head up from his bed. Steve snickers at the face Felix makes when he spots Steve outside the window. It goes from pure fear to realization to a visual grumble.

Felix pats over to the window and opens it, Steve climbing through it and tumbling onto the floor.

“Steve, it’s nearly two AM, oh my God,” Felix whines, his voice scratchy and eyes aching to close.

“I know that, but I can’t sleep. And I need to distract myself before I lose my goddamn mind. Come with me on a drive.” Steve has that puppy look on his face.

“Let me sleep, Steve, it’s two AM for God’s sake.”

“Come oooooon, Jukeboy, it’s just a little drive.”

“Fine, but I hate you for this.”

“Pshhh, I know you love me, probably not more than your beauty sleep, but still.”

Felix pulls on the nearest pair of pants and doesn’t bother to change out of his Iron Man tee, the boys sneaking their way through the house and out the front door. They quietly enter Steve’s car and drive off to wherever the night takes them.

“What’s on your mind, Steve?”

“Nancy.”

“Well, she’s always on your mind.”

Steve can sense a sad tone to his voice, but doesn’t question it.

“I don’t know, it’s stupid. I’m probably getting ahead of myself.”

“Speak, Harrington.”

“Okay. I don’t know--we barely hang out anymore, school’s almost starting, there’s like a month left of summer and I only hung out with her for maybe a week, if you add up the days together. I rarely hung out with her in July.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is, I think she’s getting tired of me.”

At that, Felix blurts out a laugh.

“Man, you truly are an idiot. She loves you and she’d never get tired of you, dummy.”

Steve sighs in utterance, watching the road morph from cement into dirt.

“I am. I am a dummy. But it’s just, she hangs out with Jonathan and her friends more than she spends time with me.”

“That’s okay, it doesn’t mean she never wants to hang out with you again.”

Steve parks on a cliff by the quarry, turning his keys and shutting the engine, the rumbling of his car disappearing. He and Felix exit the car, leaving the doors open so that the music can flood from the inside. _(Fooled Around And Fell In Love_ echoes from the car. Steve thinks about Nancy, but he thinks about something else, too.)

They sit on the hood of the car, arms pillowing their heads as they gaze up at the ocean of darkness and light we call the sky.

“I really love her.”

Silence.

“I know, Steve.”

Steve wants to say _“but does she love me?”_ but says nothing.

They lie there until the sun rises, stargazing and letting the music pour from the car and into their ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was mostly exposition and fairly rushed (at least i think so) because it's mostly mirroring season one. the next few chapters are much slower and relaxed, so don't worry. also, i am aware that starcourt mall doesn't exist until season 3. shhh. let me have this.


	2. you make me live now, honey

There’s two and a half weeks left of summer and there Steve is, stuck at a gas station and staring perplexedly at a map splayed out on the mantle of his car. Oh yeah, and Felix is with him, too.

They’re in Oklahoma. Or at least they think so.

A week ago, Felix was talking about how much he missed California, yet didn’t act on it. Steve is pretty much the personification of the phrase “fuck it,” so he made them go on an impromptu trip to Felix’s home state. Steve thinks he’s more excited about the trip than Felix is.

He had told Nancy, who supported the idea, and didn’t care to inform his parents because they were on another one of their endless business trips. Steve Harrington could finally leave Hawkins, even if it’s only for a week. And he was doing it with his best friend.

“Okay, yeah. We’re definitely in Oklahoma,” Felix says, walking out of the convenience store with a bottle of ice cold Coca Cola in each one of his hands. He tosses one of the bottles to Steve, Steve almost dropping it due to the surprise throw.

“How do you know?”

“I asked the cashier.”

“Fuck, we look like tourists.”

“We are, Steve.”

Steve fakes a laugh and takes a swig from the coke, the cool drink refreshing him for a quick minute until a cloud unveils the sun, the blazing heat hitting Steve’s skin. He wipes the bottle cap (it has a buffalo on it) clean on his shirt and hands it to Felix for his collection back at home.

“Hey, we just have to keep taking route sixty six and we’ll be in LA in no time.”

“Don’t patronize it. We’re gonna be stuck in the desert forever.”

“You’re so dramatic, oh my God. Just get in the car and I’ll drive for a bit, okay?”

(Steve only recently found out Felix could drive. He just assumed he skateboarded everywhere, which he did do ninety nine percent of the time.)

Steve folds up the map and sits himself in the passenger seat, placing the map in his lap.

“Need to move the seat up, Jukeboy? You sure your tiny legs can reach the pedals?”

“HEY!”

“Oh yeah, I forgot you grew an inch. Congrats on being five foot five. I think you might finally be Nancy’s brother’s height.”

Felix punches Steve’s arm, Steve laughing like a lunatic. Felix drives onto the road, ignoring every laughter filled apology Steve spews out. Once Steve’s fit is over, he clicks the play button on the car stereo, the familiar riff of _Satisfaction_ statically ringing from the speakers.

“Hey! It’s your song, Jukeboy!”

Felix still refuses to speak.

“Come on, I already said I’m sorry. You’re not _that_ short.”

Felix rolls his eyes.

Steve inches closer to Felix in his seat.

“Dun dun, dun dun duuuun, duh-dun dun,” Steve (badly) mimics the shrill of the guitar, a mischievous grin tugging at his lips. Felix looks away from him, and what looks like a hint of a smile forms on his mouth.

“I can’t get nooo, sah-tis-fact-shun, I can’t get nooo, sah-tis-fact-shun. ‘Cause I try, and I try, and I try, and I try--” Steve sings, volume steadily increasing.

“I CAN’T GET NO!” Felix gives in, and the two of them belt out the rest of the song, dancing to the extent of what the small car can give them, tapping on the steering wheel, and having a hell of a time. They spend the whole ride--until the gas runs out--singing along to whatever song came on.

They’re in Albuquerque by the time the sky turns black and stars speckle the onyx abyss above them. Felix is currently fiddling with his camera, standing outside the car and filming the star-crowded sky. They’re parked outside a motel, the owner agreeing to let them stay for a night free of charge only if they stay in their car. Steve’s on a payphone, leaning against brick wall and listening to Nancy’s voice on the other end.

“I miss you.”

“It’s been two days, Steve.”

“I know. I still miss you, though.” Steve can hear Nancy smile. He smiles too.

“How are you, honey? Still surviving without me?” Nancy asks, Steve snorting.

“I’m already miserable and homeless without you, Nance. Felix died of dehydration and I’m about to go with him. Oh shit, our car just broke down. I can see the light!”

Nancy’s laughing at him, a sound Steve would never get tired of. “That doesn’t even make sense, Steve. We’ll see each other in a week or so, hang in there. Go entertain Felix.”

“I love you, Nance.”

“Go, dummy.”

She doesn’t say I love you back.

***

A place Steve has always wanted to visit is the Grand Canyon. Ever since he was young, he’s always found something so fascinating about these monumental formations. He’s read about them in magazines, eye catching images of the canyons spread out on the sheets of paper under detailed descriptions--that he never read--making him yearn to visit them. The Grand Canyon is one of many places Steve has wanted to visit (the others are Disney World, Italy, and Hawaii), and now he has.

Steve and Felix are in Arizona, their car is parked at the bottom of a hill so it doesn’t accidentally lurch over a cliff. The boys stand on the ledge of the ravines, a wave of daze and unbelief washing over Steve; the Grand Canyon is unimaginably beautiful.

There are a myriad of gorges twisting and turning in all directions, creating paths for rivers to flow at the base of them. The result of erosion has formed layers of rocks, stripes of warm hues running up the walls of the canyons. Specks of green can be seen in clusters across the surface of the land, a hint of life within the rocks. Altogether, the ravines have conceived earth’s own natural maze.

“I’m speechless, I have no words,” Steve says, breaking the silence. They’ve been staring at the view for at least five minutes straight without saying a word.

“I know. The last time I was here was when I was like, six years old. It all seems so new,” Felix responds, taking a quick glance at Steve.

“I think I can stay here forever, Jukeboy. Fuck Hawkins, man.”

They both share a laugh and sit down ways behind the ledge of the cliff. _(“I’m not sitting on the edge, I’m not gonna die in the Grand Canyon, Steve,” “That actually sounds like a great way to go,” “God, shut up.”)_ Steve takes in a breath, the air never feeling fresher. He’s at the Grand Canyon with his best friend, can anything get better than this?

Steve hears Felix fumble around with something, his eyes dragging towards the source of sound. Felix pulls out his walkman and clips in a cassette. The tapes whirr for a moment before _Take Me Home, Country Roads_ starts playing from the small compartment. Steve begins laughing, a huge grin slapped on his face.

“What? It fit the moment!”

“I know. This is so cheesy, it’s like we’re in a movie, I love it. I’ve always wanted to be in a movie.” Steve takes a sip from the root beer he was drinking, passing the bottle cap to Felix.

“Good, otherwise I’d be embarrassed. And really, huh? I don’t think the audience would stand to see your horrible face for more than five minutes.”

Steve makes an offended face, his hand grasping his chest dramatically. “Then how do you do it, hmm?”

“I’ve gone blind.”

“Asshole.”

They laugh again and enjoy the scenery until the sky goes from blue to black.

***

“Steve, smile for the camera!”

Steve turns his head to give the camera a quick glimpse, his lips tugging upwards and teeth gleaming behind a big grin, before looking back at the traffic in front of him.

“You really gonna film me in traffic?”

“Yeah, it’s part of the experience, Stevie. California’s got bad traffic.”

Steve lets out a childish groan, slamming his fist against the steering wheel horn cap. He kinda misses the lack of traffic in Hawkins right now.

“Ugh, we’re gonna be here forever! All I see are cars.”

“Maybe it’s ‘cus we’re on the highway.”

“Can it, Jukeboy.”

Felix giggles and Steve can’t help but smile.

It’s been a day and a half and they’re finally in California, only a few hours away from Los Angeles. They’ve been on the road for three and a half days now, and they’re both equally eager to get out of this isolating car and onto a coastal beach.

“Can you stop complaining and start singing again? Your voice is nice,” Felix muses. Steve feels his cheeks oddly heating up. Hm.

“That’s coming from you, Jukeboy. You might be the best singer in Hawkins--scratch that, in Indiana.” Steve swears he sees Felix’s complexion shift to a light pink.

“You’re such a suck up,” Felix chimes before turning up the speaker volume.

The tune of an electric piano followed by a drum beat and a bassline vibrates through the car.

“Oooh, you make me live. Whatever this world can give to me,” Felix chants, setting his camera down.

“Come on, Stevie! I know you love this song!”

Steve mutters unintelligibly under his breath before joining Felix’s voice.

“Oooh, you're the best friend that I ever had, I've been with you such a long time! You're my sunshine, and I want you to know that my feelings are true. I really love youuu. Oooh you're my best friend.” They croon out the lyrics to the song, dancing ridiculously and flailing their arms around. The people in the cars surrounding them probably think they’re mad. But who cares, they’re having a grand time. (Steve ignores the warm sensation rising under his skin when he and Felix sing to each other. Especially when they sing this song.)

An hour passes and they make it to Los Angeles, and man, is it drastically different from Hawkins. Hawkins is all little shabby buildings, rural neighbourhoods, whimsical yet haunting forests, and the embodiment of every fictional town set in a horror novel. The only thing close to modern was Hawkins lab right in the middle of the town. On the other hand, Los Angeles was contemporary edifices blanketing the city, palm trees towering over main roads, bright lights and neon signs spread across walls and billboards, packed streets, and everything else you’d imagine when you thought of a metropolis.

And you can’t forget the Hollywood sign.

They drive under an archway of palm trees, windows rolled down, _Mr. Sandman_ playing on the radio, and the Hollywood sign looming over them. Steve feels like he’s in a commercial advertising Los Angeles.

“This is unreal. I feel like I’m in a movie.”

“You always say you feel like you’re in a movie.”

“What if I actually am? I’m pretty fit to be a hot movie star.”

“In your dreams, Harrington.”

Although they’re bantering, they’re both beaming like little kids who just got candy, eyes filled with wonder and excitement.

“Man, I missed this place.”

“I can see why. It’s beautiful. Y’know, this is my first time outside of Hawkins.”

Felix turns to him in shock, eyebrows raised. “Really? If that’s so, I’m gonna make sure this trip is the best trip of your life,”

“So you’re saying if I _did_ leave Hawkins before this you’d make this trip the worst trip of my life--” There’s a smug smirk on Steve’s face.

“You get what I mean, smartass.”

“What if I don’t?”

“Oh my God, just shut up and drive.”

They check in at a hotel when it’s twelve thirty in the afternoon, giving them tons of time to explore, but not before they get a bit of sleep. As soon as they shut the door to their temporary room, the two of them pass out on the beds in fatigue.

///

When Steve awakens six hours later, he can hear a shower running. With a grunt, he pushes himself off the bed and stretches his arms, arching his back and releasing a loud yawn. He discards his windbreaker, tossing it onto a chair by a desk opposite to the bed. Steve switches the television on and knocks on the bathroom door. “Felix, you in there?” He asks, no response acquired. Instead, he hears Felix singing incoherently, which is a good enough answer for Steve. He’d recognize his voice anywhere.

Deciding not to annoy him, he takes a seat beside the bedside cabinet and grabs the telephone that was set atop it. He tucks the phone in between his ear and his shoulder, one hand holding the housing box and the other dialling Nancy’s number. The phone rings.

“Nancy? It’s Steve.”

“Steve! Hi, how was the drive?”

“It was great, Nance. I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, but tell me about the road trip, I wanna hear all about it.”

“But I’d rather listen to your voice.”

“You’re so cheesy. Tell me about the trip and I’ll talk.”

“Okay.”

For the next hour, Steve rambles on about their road trip, recounting tales of how they nearly lost gas in the middle of the road, Felix filming literally everything, the music they sang along to, a very badly described illustration of the Grand Canyon, how beautiful the city of Los Angeles is, the Hollywood sign, and everything else he can remember. Nancy engages herself in the conversation by asking random questions about whatever topic Steve was babbling on about, Steve enthusiastically answering them. Talking to Nancy about anything and everything is one of Steve’s all time favourite things. He loves her so much.

“Steve, I have to go for dinner but I’ll chat soon, okay? Enjoy your time there. Don’t forget to bring me back a souvenir.”

“Do you really have to go?” He whines like a child, “Fine, I’ll take tons of pictures of my pretty face so you can put them on your wall when you get back. I miss you, and I promise I’ll get you something. I love you.”

“Good night, Steve.” The call ends and all Steve hears is the empty phone line. With a sigh, he puts the rotary phone back on the cabinet and flumps back onto the bed, his legs hanging off the side of the bed. As if on cue, the bathroom door creaks open and Felix _finally_ leaves the shower. (He was in there for over an hour) Felix has red shorts on and a plain white t-shirt, his hair still wet and dripping onto the towel that was slung over his shoulders. Steve thinks he looks cute.

(Wait-- _what the hell did he just think?_ )

“Were you just talking to Nancy? You look flushed and in love.”

“Hell yeah I was.”

Felix chuckles and flops down beside Steve, pulling the towel over his head to dry his hair.

“You gonna shower?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I was just gonna ask if you wanted to go for dinner, there’s a sick diner that I used to always visit. It’s one of my favourite places here. And we haven’t eaten _real_ food for days.”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll be quick, unlike _somebody_ who spends hours in the shower.”

“Hey! I was in there for an hour! ...And a half.”

“See! I’m gonna go and be respectful by taking a fifteen minute shower.”

Felix scrunches up his nose and Steve holds up finger guns before disappearing into the bathroom. There’s quietness in their hotel room until Steve screeches, the walls of the bathroom doing a terrible job at silencing him.

“Steve? What the hell happened?!” Felix rushes to the bathroom door, banging on it worriedly.

“You used up all the warm water, you dick!”

///

The diner is small. It’s tucked in between a convenience store and a parking lot, the metallic plated building standing out like a sore thumb. The convenience store is built up of brick walls, a broken sign, and tile flooring that looks like it hasn’t been cleaned for a week. In comparison, the diner is flashy and reflective, the words “Norm's Diner,” (it’s written in cursive font and is glowing neon pink) overhead the front doors. There are a set of steps leading up to the entrance, railings on either end of them in the same colour as the sign with the diner’s name. Glass windows stretch around the middle of the front half of the building, giving outsiders a peek inside the diner. It feels nostalgic and sweet, and Felix favouring this place doesn’t surprise Steve one bit.

Felix steps inside the diner and Steve follows suit, shoving his hands into the pockets of his shorts. (Felix is wearing the same outfit as earlier--red shorts and a white tee--but he’s now wearing a jean jacket despite the hot weather. Steve’s wearing a camouflage print t-shirt tucked into his cuffed jean shorts, white socks with green stripes across the top, and black Chuck Taylors.) The interior reminds Steve of Scoops Ahoy, the retro aesthetic similar to the ice cream parlour back in Hawkins. Checker print tiling is a consistent design choice throughout the entire diner, the black and white pattern splashed onto several pieces of furnishing: the bar, the booths, and even the linoleum flooring is parallel to a chess board. The tabletops are the same pink as the sign outside and the railings, as well as the cushions of the stools lined up in front of the bar. The kitchen is hidden behind the bar, a waitress currently occupying the area in between the bar and the kitchen. There’s a menu plastered above the bar displaying the food and drink items, various vinyls hung up on the walls (the walls are painted white with a strip of pink in the centre) as decorations, and a vintage jukebox in the left corner. There’s only one other pair of people eating in. To put it shortly, it’s like every other diner out there. Except Steve thinks it’s better solely because it’s Felix’s favourite.

Felix turns back to look at Steve, motioning towards the booth beside the jukebox (of course), the two of them sitting facing one another. Steve scoots to the inside of the table, his thigh pressed against the wall and head by the window.

“Jukebox,” Steve points to the jukebox, “Jukeboy,” he points to Felix, “No wonder you chose this spot. See, my nickname isn’t stupid, it’s destiny.” Steve places his elbows on the table, simpering as Felix holds a hand to his forehead, stares at the table with wide eyes, and purses his lips.

“Mooooving on. What do you want for dinner?” Felix says after recovering from Steve’s everlastingly terrible moniker for him.

“I’ll have whatever you’re having and a chocolate milkshake,” Steve answers, still smiling from the giggling fit he had. Felix notes that and waves at the waitress, the lady walking over with a notepad and a pen in her hands.

“Welcome to Norm's, what’d you two like to order?”

“Can we get two of Norm's Special? Also, a chocolate milkshake and a strawberry milkshake, thank you.”

“Coming right up.” She lists down their order and walks away, vanishing into the kitchen and leaving the two.

“The Norm's Special? The hell’s that?” Steve questions, slipping his hand into his pockets and fishing out a few quarters.

“You’ll see. It’s the best fast food I’ve ever had in my life. The first time I had it was when my grandpops took me here for my sixth birthday. Best birthday ever, if I’m being honest.”

“Really, huh? When’s your birthday anyways?”

“November 23rd. And yours is?”

“October 4th.”

“I’ll mark it down.”

Steve grins and scoots out of his seat, standing in front of the jukebox. The jukebox only contains two dozen songs, all of them hits from the fifties and sixties. Steve runs his finger down the buttons once he finds a song he likes, slotting the quarters into the machine and pushing the keys with the number of the song. He takes a moment to watch the jukebox come to life, the discs within it switching to the song he chose. It’s silent for a second, then _Burning Love_ emits from the speakers. Steve slides back into his spot, leaning back in his seat.

“Good choice, I’ve taught you well, young padawan,” Felix beams, raising his brows.

“Shhh, it’s all me.” Steve winks, but Felix is right. Steve probably wouldn’t have known a single song on there if it weren’t for him. Felix has introduced him to a big chunk of the music he listens to now, and thank God he did because if that weren’t the case he’d be stuck listening to the radio and whatever vinyls his dad has at home from when he was Steve’s age.

Their food comes around five minutes later, the waitress setting the plates on their table and hoping they enjoy their food. Steve knows he will; the food looks delicious for it being cheap. On his plate lays a fresh burger, steam still rising from it, a handful of fries, some sort of sauce in a small dish, and chicken strips. Felix is already eating before Steve can even dig in. Steve takes one bite from the burger and he knows why this is Felix’s favourite diner.

“Oh my God, this is delicious,” Steve says, his voice distorted by the food stuffed in his mouth.

“I know right? And don’t talk with your mouth full.”

Steve nods and he finishes his food faster than he knows it.

///

“I used to bring Max here,” Felix says, sipping his drink. They’re both done with their food and chose to stay at the diner for a bit. It’s half past eight.

“Who’s Max?” Steve asks, dipping a fry into his milkshake and popping it into his mouth.

“This kid I was friends with until I had to move. She was like my little sister. She’s the only other person who knows about this place.”

“You saying I’m like your brother?” Steve feels weird about that statement.

“No.”

Steve hesitates to ask “then what am I?” but he already knows the answer: his best friend. So, he stays quiet.

“I’m just trying to say that this place is special.” Felix goes the same shade as the strawberry milkshake he’s drinking. It passes by Steve’s head.

“Well, thank you for bringing me here, Jukeboy.”

“My pleasure.”

***

The alarm on the clock rings at precisely nine AM in the morning, the irritating ringing noise causing Steve to groan begrudgingly and pull a pillow over his head to block his ears.

“Turn it ooooff!” Steve whines, voice muffled by the pillow. He hears Felix shift in his bed and what he thinks is “no you,” following after it.

“It’s too early,” Felix grumbles, hiding under the blanket, a rough outline of his body poking through the fabric.

“Who even set the alarm?”

“You did, Steve. You did before we went to bed.”

“I don’t recall.”

“You…”

Felix falls back asleep before getting to finish his sentence. Steve stays still for about five more minutes before resentfully getting out of bed. He brings his palms up to his face and rubs his eyes, letting out a long yawn and heading to the bathroom. Steve proceeds with his extensive hair routine (argan oil, sea salt spray, and Farrah Fawcett hairspray) then brushes his teeth. He lifts his shirt above his head while walking out of the bathroom, rummaging through his suitcase for an outfit: he settles with a plain white t-shirt and a pair of carmine swimming trunks. Once dressed, he leaps face first onto Felix’s bed and shouts “WAKE UP, JUKEBOY!” directly onto what he thinks is Felix’s head.

“LET ME SLEEP!” Felix wails, tugging the blanket tighter around him.

“It’s almost ten, get uuuuup! Even I’m not as bad as you are in the mornings.”

“Uuuuuuuuuggggghhhhhh.”

Felix grumpily complies, emerging from the mountain of pillows and blankets like a bear coming out of hibernation. Felix glares at Steve, crossing his arms and trudging to the bathroom without saying anything to Steve.

“Don’t be such a grinch.”

“You KNOW I’m not a morning person!”

“You’re a piece of work!”

“I’m not talking to you!”

Steve rolls onto his back, hugging a pillow to his chest, “I’ll buy us ice cream if you stop being such a little shit.”

The bathroom door opens and Felix peeks his head out of the doorway, “Fine. Good morning sunshine!” He chimes sarcastically, Steve flipping him off.

They end up leaving the hotel half an hour later, planning to get breakfast on the boardwalk. (The ride to the beach is short, but they still manage to sing along to _Rock With You, Come On Eileen,_ and _Seaside Rendezvous._ )

This is Steve’s first time at a _real_ beach, and man, is it breathtaking. The view is astounding: golden sands lining the shore, vast, cerulean waters that seem to go on forever, large palm trees dispersed across the coast, rainbows of beach umbrellas dotting the beach, and hundreds of people having the time of their lives. The sun is shining and it’s absolutely perfect.

“It’s better than I could ever imagine,” Steve says, putting on his Ray-Bans.

“Wait till you get on the actual beach.”

Felix is right, as always. It’s even better when he’s _actually_ on the beach and not just ogling the scenery from a distance. Steve curls his toes into the warm sand, taking in the aroma of the sea air and feeling the balmy heat of the sun against his skin. He could stay here forever. Felix sticks an umbrella into the sand, propping it open while Steve places two beach towels under the shade. After setting up their little area, Steve lifts his t-shirt over his head and makes a run for the water, diving into it once it was deep enough. Felix follows him promptly, not expecting Steve to leave so suddenly.

“Wait up, Harrington!” he calls out, Steve submerging himself in the water to hide from the other boy. Felix comes to a halt, presumably spinning around to look for Steve. Steve swims closer and once he’s in Felix’s vicinity, he shoots up from the water and grabs Felix from behind, mimicking the noise of a monster to scare him.

“JESUS CHRIST!” Felix screams, Steve laughing his ass off.

“I got you! You screamed like a baby!” Steve chortles, slipping his sunglasses back on. Felix splashes water in his direction, Steve returning the action.

“I hate you for that! I’m never talking to you again,” Felix says, crossing his arms and facing away from Steve. Steve pouts and swims around him so that they’re face to face again.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I was just playing around,” Steve explains, now feeling bad about it. They’re so close and Steve feels something in his stomach. Steve can see the crease lines in between Felix’s eyebrows as he furrows them together, his blue eyes squinting due to the sunlight, and his crooked little frown that might just be one of the cutest things Steve’s ever seen. Oh. _Oh._

Blinking his thoughts away, Steve pokes at Felix’s cheek and removes his sunglasses, pushing them up onto Felix’s nose. Now he’s the one squinting.

“Turn that frown upside down, Jukeboy,” Steve snickers, running a hand through his hair and lolling back into the water. Steve can’t see it since Felix’s eyes are shielded by his sunglasses but he knows he just rolled his eyes at him. Felix dips into the water anyways and the two boys stay at the beach until the sun starts to set.

///

Steve blinks his eyes open and sees Felix sitting cross legged on his towel, his camera up against his face and filming the sunset. They were swimming for hours, and Steve instantly took a nap once they got out of the water. Steve yawns and sits up, stretching his body before grabbing his white tee from earlier and slipping it on.

“Good evening, sleeping beauty,” Felix says, putting his camera down and turning to glance at Steve.

“How long was I out?”

“Maybe an hour, I don’t know. I was filming some stuff while you were napping.”

“You left my helpless, sleeping body alone? I could’ve been ambushed.”

“Shut up, now help me pack so we can chill at the boardwalk. It’s really pretty at night.”

Steve does as he asked, the two of them putting their things back into the car before heading to the boardwalk.

The pier is packed with small stores and game booths, a miniature theme park, and people promenading through them. It’s so scenic and delightful. Steve and Felix are walking side by side, Steve zipping up his windbreaker and Felix snuggling up in his denim jacket. The sky above them alters from blue to pink to purple to black, the moon and stars finally appearing. Steve can faintly hear _Whip It_ coming from who knows where.

“Can we go get something to eat? I’m starving and craving something sweet,” Steve says, nudging Felix’s arm with his elbow.

“Wanna get funnel cake?” Felix responds, and Steve doesn’t even have to answer before Felix leads him to the food trucks. Steve can smell the fried pastry from miles away, his stomach grumbling at the mere thought of eating it. There are food trucks lined up by the ferris wheel, an assortment of carnival sweets and treats being sold. Steve kinda wants to buy everything and eat it all up in one sitting, but he has to stay rational.

Steve lines up for the funnel cake and being the impatient man Felix is, Felix wanders off while Steve gets his food. Steve doesn’t mind, but now he can’t annoy Felix. It takes a good fifteen minutes just to order the funnel cake, the line being way too long for Steve’s liking. (He spends ten of the fifteen minutes trying not to stare at the two men lined up in front of him who were holding hands, wondering to himself why this couple intrigued him so much.) But once his order comes up and a plate of fresh funnel cake is placed into his hands, Steve’s complaint of the long line is long gone. He takes a bite, and he’s basically in heaven. The pastry itself is warm and crispy and soft on the inside, traces of vanilla ice cream and strawberries accompanying it. It’s extremely satisfying. Before he can down the entire dish, he ventures off to find Felix.

Steve ambles through the harbour, getting distracted by everything he saw. He gets the urge to ride a rollercoaster and play a couple of games before quite literally bumping into Felix. The shorter boy looks like he’s just seen a dead corpse.

“Woah, hey, you look jazzed,” Steve says confusedly.

“Huh? Oh, I’m fine.”

“Where’d you go anyways?”

“Went to a fortune teller, it’s all fake, don’t worry about it.”

“Uh huh. I got funnel cake.”

“I can see that. Now give me some.”

They share the funnel cake and continue to roam around the dock, Steve abruptly pulling Felix to one of the booths containing a carnival game. It’s the game where you throw darts at balloons in hope of popping the right one just to get a stupid prize. Steve pays for it anyways. Felix stands behind Steve as he spews confident wisecracks, drawing his arm back and jutting it forward, letting his fingers glide off the dart. The dart luckily shoots into a balloon, but it’s a blank. Steve goes for the second dart, repeating his process and aiming at another balloon. This one pops, yet no prize just like the first go. The final dart prevails and Steve wins a prize. There’s a childlike wonder filling Steve up when he gets to choose his prize, his eyes scanning each toy. His choices range from brightly coloured stuffed ducks, plush basketballs, and teddy bears wearing sunglasses and t-shirts with the word “California” printed on them. Of course Steve chooses the teddy bear. The bear is brown and has beady blue eyes, the sunglasses sitting on its head, and the California shirt red in colour. Steve holds the bear up beside Felix’s face.

“It looks like you.”

“No it doesn’t!” Felix is blushing.

“Yeah, it does. It’s small, soft, and grumpy looking.”

Rather than being offended, Felix just huffs and shrugs.

“Even if I tried to argue, you’d still push it.”

“You know me so well.”

Steve ruffles a hand through Felix’s hair and skips in the direction of the ferris wheel, the bear tucked under Steve’s arm.

“Wait, Steve, are we going on the ferris wheel?” Felix sounds anxious.

“Yeah, last stop of the day might as well be the best one.”

“Nope, I’m not going up there.”

Steve pauses and turns to look at Felix with a quizzical expression.

“Huh? You scared of heights or something?”

“So what if I am? Those things are dangerous, it could stop and crash and fall over, we’d fall to our deaths and no one would know!” Felix is just rambling nervously by now.

“Woah, woah, woah, slow your roll, Jukeboy. Look at me, you’re gonna be fine, we’re gonna be fine. No one’s gonna fall and die. Just come with me, I promise it’ll be okay.”

“Steve, seriously, I’d rather not. I can stay down here with your bear and our bags.”

“But you’ll miss the view!”

“I’d rather stay alive than see the view.”

“Y’know what, fine. But let me take your camera.”

“What?”

Without Felix’s permission, he shoves his bear into Felix’s hands and takes his camera in exchange, dashing towards the line for the ferris wheel and leaving Felix at the base of the ride. When Steve gets into the ferris wheel cubicle, he pulls out the camera and begins to film the view. If Felix can’t come to the view, he’ll bring the view to Felix.

Steve feels bad for Felix because the scenery is undeniably worth the risk. It’s jaw-dropping, to say the least. He can see everything from up here, and he hopes the camera can capture its beauty. The colourful buildings down below look like little lego bricks, the people walking around just small little dots moving around in the crowd, the once blue ocean now an endless dark abyss, the lights coming from the city resembling the night sky right above him. He feels like he’s on top of the world, which he sort of is.

When the ride comes to an end, he stops the recording and shuts off the camera, making his way back to Felix.

“Sorry I left so suddenly and stole your camera. Don’t worry, it’s intact. Here. Watch the video.” Steve trades the camera for his teddy bear, holding it against his chest and standing behind Felix so he could watch the video too. Felix gives Steve an odd look and trails his eyes down to the display screen of the camera. The screen replays what Steve just saw, Steve smiling at Felix’s satisfaction.

“I’ve lived in Cali for sixteen years of my life and I’ve never seen this view,” Felix says after the video ends and pauses on the thumbnail.

“Well, now you have, Jukeboy. I’m basically a hero, a thank you would be nice,” Steve says, placing his hands on his hips.

“Thank you, Steve. That was really sweet of you--even if you just left me to wallow in fear of you breaking my camera or dying up there.”

“I’m not dead and your camera’s fine, so suck it up. Let’s go, it’s getting late anyways.”

Steve slings an arm around Felix’s shoulder and they walk back to the car. Their first official day in California is quite flawless.

***

On the third day of their trip, they go shopping. Yesterday, the two of them went on a biking marathon on the Santa Monica bike path for a solid eight and a half miles to and fro. It was an excellent way of exploring the beach cities, but nevertheless, it was tiring. Today, Steve and Felix are downtown at 3rd Street Promenade on a little shopping spree. Steve undoubtedly enjoys shopping no matter what gender roles have to say about it. Why can’t a guy pamper himself up? Steve likes to look good, and at least he showers and dresses nicely unlike other guys he’s met at school before.

They’re at a JCPenney and Steve’s looking through a rack of button ups, Felix somewhere in his proximity. After a couple of minutes of hunting through dress shirts, Steve finally finds something that catches his eye and holds up a scarlet coloured button up tee. The collar is black with a thin white stripe running down the edge of it, there’s a black stripe around the ends of both short sleeves, and the word “California” stitched above the right breast pocket in white thread. It’s casual yet can pass as a souvenir. With the shirt in his hands, he goes to find Felix to ask for a second opinion.

“Whaddya think?” Steve asks once he’s located Felix, holding the shirt up in front of his chest.

“It’s nice, go pay for it so we can get outta here and find your girl a little California knickknack.”

Steve gives him a quick thumbs up and pays for the shirt before exiting the store and back onto the streets. As they stroll down the sidewalk, the towering palm trees casting shadows onto the pavement and the chatter of passersby concurring with music from speakers overhead engulf them in a picturesque experience.

They enter a sweet little shop that Felix stated had the best trinkets in all of Santa Monica. The shop is eccentric, quirky novelties aligning shelves and hooks. Steve scours the shop in anticipation of finding the ideal memento for Nancy. He toys around with a couple of the baubles in store before finding it: a narrow leather necklace with a cowrie shell pendant and a small, spherical blue glass bead tied atop the shell. It’s perfect.

When paying for the necklace he finds out that the shell comes straight from the shoreline of Santa Monica beach, which adds even more depth and value to the gift. Steve knows Nancy will love it.

***

It’s been five days since their arrival in Cali. They’ve done a variety of touristic visits, trying their bests to explore every inch of Los Angeles in a week. They’ve gone downtown, to the beach, to the piers, biking, and now they’re at Santa Monica Place in a movie theatre about to watch the _Karate Kid_.

“Can I get one large popcorn and two drinks? Also a pack of M&Ms,” Steve says after contemplating whether he should get nachos or popcorn. Felix is off buying their tickets while Steve stands in front of the cashier with a hand on his jutted hip and the other pointing out his order. Felix comes back to Steve already eating their popcorn, the shorter boy taking the bag out of his hands before he can eat it any further.

“Hey! I was eating.”

“We haven’t even gone in the theatre and you’re already halfway done.”

“I ate TWO pieces, Jukeboy.”

“And you’re gonna keep eating two more pieces, now get your butt in the theatre, it’s gonna start soon.”

“Alright, alright, _mom_.”

Steve offers him an exaggerated grin while stepping into the auditorium, Felix grimacing back and trailing behind him. They take a seat in the middle row near the centre, the theatre pretty much empty.

“Where is everyone?”

“This movie’s a month old, Steve. Tell me again why you haven’t seen it yet?”

“Listen--I was planning to watch it with Nancy but she had plans, so I didn’t bother buying tickets. It looks _gnarly_ , though. Is that what you Californians say?”

“Yeah, but when you say it you make it sound dumb.”

“Don’t be rude!”

The lights dim and Steve snatches his popcorn back, lifting and resting his legs on top of the seat in front of him. The projector switches on and a series of trailers and commercials play before the movie begins, Steve nestling up in his seat to make himself comfortable.

As the movie rolled and the story of Daniel and Mister Miyagi unfolded, Steve was left with a couple of things from it. Firstly, the movie was great. He thoroughly enjoyed it and thought the plot and characters were really well written, but he’s no movie critic so his standards aren’t that trustworthy. Secondly, Steve found Daniel’s love interest really cute. But he also found Daniel equally as cute as her. _(WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WHY DOES HE FIND BOYS AS CUTE AS GIRLS--)_ Third and lastly, Steve thinks Felix has a really nice side profile--not like he was staring long enough to notice. It’s not like he noted how the tip of his nose is turned upwards ever so slightly, how his eyes droop downwards just a little bit, how his jaw is sharp yet soft, and how his brown hair naturally swoops to the back of his head. It’s not like he can admittedly say that he finds Felix as pretty as Nancy. You can think your friends are pretty, right?

“So, how’d you find the movie?” Felix asks once the lights switch on.

“Huh? Oh. It was amazing! This movie is cinematic excellence.”

“It wasn’t _that_ good, Steve. It’s fun but predictable.”

“Shut up, it’s gonna win an Oscar.”

“Cool, we’ll see about that.”

***

On their seventh and final day, they opt to save the best excursion for last: hiking up to the Hollywood sign. It’s seven thirty three in the evening and Steve has already given up the climb. He’s sitting on a rock with his head in his hands, backpack by his feet.

“I think I’m gonna pass out, we’ve been walking for hours,”

“It’s been thirty minutes--”

“And? That’s basically an hour. Leave me here and go up the sign yourself.”

“Nope, absolutely not. You’re the one who dragged me up here in the first place! You know I don’t like heights but I agreed to come because I’m a good friend.”

Steve glances up at Felix, giving him a scrutinizing look before sighing dramatically and reluctantly getting back on his feet, swinging his bag over his back.

“Fine,” Steve says in a condescending tone, purposely bumping Felix’s shoulder with his own as he passes by him.

“You’re such a big baby,” Felix snorts, running up to his side. Steve huffs and rolls his eyes before letting their arms brush against each other as they walk. He can never genuinely stay mad at him.

They trek up the designated path, the city below them appearing smaller and smaller as they hike higher and higher. Steve also catches the visible uneasiness growing in Felix’s mannerisms. Felix is starting to finnick with the straps of his backpack, eyes flashing from the ground to the view.

“Hey, we’re fine. Need to hold my arm or something?” Steve mumbles, eyebrows knitted in concern.

“Uh, yeah. Can I walk by your left, too?”

“Of course, man.” Steve smiles and they switch places, Felix timidly grasping Steve’s forearm and holding it in his right hand. (Felix’s touch sends a bizarre feeling into Steve’s chest and stomach, but he completely disregards it.)

“Look who’s the big baby now,” Steve teases quietly, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Shut up.”

The hike is long and it takes a lot of effort and motivation, but when they finally make it to the sign their complaints fly out the door. Steve skids down the side of the mountain and stops behind the letter W, Felix following behind him (screaming profanities about how he’s going to fall and die yet going after him anyways). Steve catches Felix by his shoulders, giving them a tight squeeze to ensure that Felix is indeed safe on top of the hill and that he won’t fall.

“Steve, oh my God, I think we’re gonna die.”

“We’re not, I’ll be like… your seatbelt. Just admire the view, Jukeboy.”

Steve keeps his hands secure on Felix’s shoulders, Felix slowly blinking his eyes open to look at the view. Steve feels Felix’s shoulders lose tension once his attention is settled on what’s in front of him. The cityscape is unbelievable. They’re up so high that the city beneath them resembles a galaxy, the lights from the buildings analogous to stars; it’s a city of stars.

“Wow,” Felix says breathlessly, his jaw slack.

“Wow,” Steve copies, certifiably as floored as Felix is. They sit themselves down and take in the view, Steve sitting with his legs spread in front of him and Felix with his legs tucked against his chest and arms wrapped around them.

“I don’t think the camera can capture how beautiful this is.”

“Uh huh.”

They stay speechless until Felix pulls out his walkman again. Apparently it’s necessary to have a soundtrack playing whenever they look dramatically at scenery. This time, the song that plays is _Rocket Man_.

_“She packed my bags last night pre-flight, zero hour nine AM. And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then. I miss the earth so much I miss my wife. It's lonely out in space, on such a timeless flight.”_

(Damn Felix and his perfect musical choices. This song makes him think about Nancy and all the weird emotions that have been bombarding his mind this entire trip.)

Steve hums along to the rest of the songs that play, the two of them staying there until the tape comes to a close. Their final official day in California ends on a perfect note.

***

Two days of driving pass and they’re not far from Hawkins, about eight hours away. It’s two AM and they’ve taken a rest stop, Steve sleeping in the back seat and Felix sat in the front. They’re parked at some old motel, and Steve suddenly awakens from his slumber.

Steve’s eyes flutter open, Felix’s silhouette in his vision. Felix’s back is to him and he’s evidently not asleep. His guitar is in his hands. And he’s singing. He looks so relaxed, his eyes shut and legs propped up on the dashboard.

“Like a river flows surely to the sea. Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be.”

Felix is singing so softly and delicately, his voice laced with something Steve can’t quite point out.

“Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you. For I can't help falling in love with... you.”

There’s a moment of silence after Felix finishes the song before Steve opens his big mouth.

“Can you sing that again? I missed the first part,” Steve mutters, which sends Felix into the astral plane. Felix nearly smashes the car window with his guitar when he jumps in his seat, letting out a surprised yelp.

“Jesus christ, Steve! I thought you were asleep-- _you weren’t supposed to hear that_ \--don’t scare me like that!” Felix’s face is fifty shades of red and he looks like he’s sweating.

“Sorry I couldn’t sleep, I was awaken by a pleasant surprise, actually,”

“Ugh, I hate you. Don’t spy on me!” Felix sounds so shy.

“I wasn’t spying! I just happened to unintentionally wake up at the same time as you singing.”

“Look at you using big words.” Felix is obviously trying to change the subject.

“Whatever. What time is it anyways?”

“Two am-ish. Go back to sleep, you’re driving in the morning.”

“Fiiiiine. G’night, Elvis,”

“I will knock you over the head with my guitar if that’s what it takes for you to go back to sleep.”

“I’m sleeping, I’m sleeping!”

***

Steve’s up on the roof of the Wheeler’s domicile, just like last year when he snuck into Nancy’s room, knocking at Nancy’s window in attempt to get in. It’s actually a reasonable time for him to be visiting Nancy, the sun still out for the day.

“Steve! You know you’re welcome to use the front door,” Nancy says, placing a kiss on his cheek as he clambers inside her bedroom.

“Yeah, but I missed you too much so I wanted to get here as soon as possible,” Steve explains, patting at his clothes. Nancy rolls her eyes, laughs, then pulls him into a tight hug.

“I missed you too. How was the trip?”

“Oh yeah! It was amazing, Nancy! California is _kinda_ perfect. I’m gonna have to take you there someday,”

“I mean, I think anything is perfect compared to Hawkins.”

“Fair point.”

The two of them lounge on Nancy’s bed, Steve babbling off about everything he and Felix did in Santa Monica. It’s a lot of Steve forgetting to say things and messing up the timeline of events and hand gestures to match said events. He’s very enthusiastic about this trip.

“So how were you doing without me for two weeks, Nance?”

“Oh I was devastated, couldn’t have my precious Steve with me,” Nancy snorts and grins widely, Steve planting a sloppy kiss onto her neck.

“You’re so cute, y’know that?”

“Shut up, Steve.”

“Oh wait! That reminds me. Turn around.”

Nancy narrows her eyes at him but turns around anyways. From the depth of his pockets, Steve pulls out a small, velveteen pouch. Untying the string, he takes the necklace he bought from the bag and holds either end of the leather chain in his hands and places it around Nancy’s neck, clasping the hooks together and letting it hang on her collar. Nancy’s head tips downwards to look at her newfound gift, her hand reaching up to hold the pendant.

“The shell is straight from Santa Monica beach.”

“It’s gorgeous, Steve. I love it.”

“Gorgeous gift for a gorgeous girl--”

Nancy shuts Steve up by kissing him, a smile melding onto both of their lips.

“I love it. I’m never gonna take it off.”

“That was the intention.”

For the rest of the night they listen to the mixtape Steve made for her, make out, and await the end of the day.


	3. i'm not in love

School starts on August 26th and Steve’s in his final year before he has to work for his dad or get into college. Hopefully, his college application goes in his favour. He gets bored most of his classes, other than his English class with Felix and lunch when he gets to hang out with Nancy. The relationships he has with all the people he cares about are actually rather great. He and Nancy are going to celebrate their one year anniversary in a couple of months, Felix is still his best friend, his dad isn’t as hard on him, and he’s made a few more casual friends here and there. He even hangs out with Jonathan sometimes. Steve’s life is going pretty damn well.

During second period Steve is hit with a bang, quite literally. Miss Smith slams his recent assignment onto his desk, the loud thump nearly making Steve curse out loud. On the paper, there’s a large red F etched onto the top left corner of his paper. It’s only been two weeks since school started and Steve has already failed an essay. There goes his life going well.

“Jesus Christ,” Steve murmurs to himself, running a hand through his hair, his face distressed. Miss Smith raises her eyebrows and shrugs, Steve giving her a pained smile. If Steve keeps this up he’s never going to get into college. This only calls for… tutoring.

When school finishes, Steve meets Nancy at her locker.

“So.. so how’s school?” Steve asks, Nancy already knowing somethings wrong.

“What’s wrong?” she sighs, shutting her locker and looking up at him. Steve groans and shows her the failed essay.

“I need… tutoring.” He sounds defeated.

“Steve, you know how much I’d love to help you but you also know that all my classes are AP classes. I wouldn’t have time for both, I’m so sorry, babe. I can ask Jonathan if he’s willing to help?”

“No, it’s fine you don’t have to be sorry. I take pride in having a smart and beautiful girlfriend. And uh, sure. I’ll also check in with Felix, he’s getting like, hundreds in our class.”

“Alright. I know you can ace it by January. You’re smart, don’t underestimate yourself.”

“Thanks, Nance, but I failed history and almost failed chemistry last year.”

“Who cares? You’re gonna do great this year. Wanna get milkshakes?”

“How could I say no to you?”

They walk to the nearest diner, Steve’s arm around Nancy’s waist, order two milkshakes and seat themselves in one of the booths. The diner is rather bland and unappealing, so Steve keeps his eyes on Nancy’s pretty face.

“Since we’re here, I can try and help you out for the time being. I’ll help you whenever I can.”

A grateful smile arises onto Steve’s lips.

The two of them stay at the diner for two hours, more or less, Nancy revising Steve’s essay and giving him pointers and advice as well as teaching him a few concepts for writing in general. Nancy’s a great help, but two hours of studying can’t realistically make up for an entire semester. That’s when Steve turns to Felix for help.

After Steve drops Nancy off at her place, he stops by Felix’s house. Steve hasn’t been to Felix’s place since the beginning of summer, and being there now gives him a sense of tranquility.

“So.” Steve is draped over Felix’s bed, twirling a pen in between his fingers, “Have you ever tutored anyone before? Specifically for english?” he tries to be clever about it.

“If you’re asking me to tutor you, you could’ve just asked in the first place because I’m saying yes.”

“Really? I mean--thank you, man. That means a lot,” Steve exhales a breath of relief.

“It’s no problem, seriously. You’re my best friend, Steve, I’d do basically anything for you.”

“Is that so?” Steve smirks, resting his chin in his hands, “I feel like a princess and you’re my knight in shining armour.”

“Don’t make me take that back.”

***

Felix holds tutoring sessions with Steve on Tuesdays and Fridays, starting the week Steve first asked him about it. They never go as planned; Steve talks Felix’s head off, sings along to the music they have playing in the background, or successfully convinces Felix to let them take a break--that lasts the entire day--and watch a movie. At this rate, Steve’s definitely going to fail english.

“Pack your things, Steve,” Felix says out of nowhere, shutting the notebook he had in his hand. (They’re studying at Steve’s house tonight. It’s almost six PM and they haven’t gotten a single damn thing done.)

“Huh?” Steve’s preoccupied by whatever’s on his notebook that isn’t the work they’re supposed to be doing.

“You can’t seem to pay attention anywhere so I’m taking you somewhere where you can’t sing karaoke or watch movies,” Felix states, gathering their things into a backpack and tossing it at Steve.

“Wh-”

“Come on. You came to me for tutoring and I don’t want you failing english. I’ll drive.”

“Uh, yes sir.”

The drive is shorter than Steve expected, which is convenient. Felix parks the car right in front of a small coffee shop Steve never even knew existed. It’s in Hawkins plaza, a few blocks down from the sports shop he bought Felix’s skateboard at.

“Why’re we here?” Steve’s confused.

“To study. No distractions here.”

When they step inside, Steve is instantly hit with the scent of coffee and pastries. His stomach grumbles because of it. It’s small and cute--Felix _clearly_ has an affinity for small and cute eateries--and it has boring music that every café on the face of planet earth seems to have. There are a couple of tables littered through the shop and a front counter with a glass display presenting an assortment of pastries and confectioneries. Felix always finds the best places to go.

They sit at a table in the corner by the window, Felix pulling out their notebooks and worksheets, flipping to an empty page and setting it before him.

“Write me a paragraph about your favourite movie,” Felix is searching his bag for something, “It’s been a week since we started study sessions so I’m sure you’re well versed in paragraph writing. I’m gonna go buy us food but I’m not letting you eat it until you’re done. Remember statement, evidence, explanation.” he finally finds what he’s looking for--his walkman--and hands it to Steve.

“Here. I made you a new mix to help you study.”

“Thanks, teach. I want a french vanilla and a donut, by the way!”

Once Felix lines up for their food, Steve puts on the headphones and starts the tape and his paragraph. What fills his ears is nothing like the music he’s previously listened to.

“Is this... Classical?” Steve’s face scrunches up at the ballad of completely lyricless piano and violin, shrugs, then begins writing. The music is strangely relaxing, and it keeps him way more concentrated than Queen does. (He can’t not sing along to Queen, it’d be considered a crime.) In fact, the song keeps him so focused that he doesn’t even notice Felix returning to their table until he finishes the paragraph. And he does that in under ten minutes.

“Oh, hi.” Steve looks up from his paper and sees Felix resting his head over his arms on top of the table.

“Hi. You done, english wiz?”

“I am, actually. And I’m quite proud of it.”

“Hmm, hand it over, then.”

Steve passes the notebook over to Felix, taking a sip from his french vanilla iced coffee. Felix takes out a red pen and begins circling the mistakes. There aren’t as many errors as Steve expected. That’s a good sign.

“It’s pretty solid. There are a few grammar mistakes,” he points to a section where Steve switches tenses, “You forgot to indent, and also, your explanation is a bit…” he tsks, “You said _Star Wars: A New Hope_ is your favourite movie because it’s cool and Han Solo is cool. But that’s all you said.”

“My point is valid.”

“It is, but you need to learn to elaborate. Tell me why Han and the movie is cool, tell me what you like about it in more depth, and maybe even add some anecdotes to connect it to yourself. But don’t go off topic, you tend to do that a lot.”

“So I could say I like _Star Wars_ because it was the first movie I ever watched in theatres?”

“Yeah! That’s perfect! If you give me a good revised version of this paragraph next time we meet I’ll treat you to something.”

Steve’s smiling because he _actually_ understands what to do now.

“Deal. I’ll knock your socks off, Jukeboy. I’ll become an author, too, while I’m at it.”

“I’m sure you will.”

They eat their food, Steve gushing about how mouthwatering the donuts are, and Felix continues to give Steve suggestions about writing.

“Wait, what was on the new mix you gave me, by the way?”

“Huh? Oh, it’s _Tempo di minuetto._ Mozart. I figured classical could help because one of your biggest distractions is singing along to the music we play. Can’t sing to something that doesn’t have lyrics. Also, it’s relaxing.”

“You’re a nerd. How’d you even get classical shit on a cassette? Who buys those?”

“Me. I buy them. And it helped you so I win, who cares if I’m a nerd.”

“Touché, Jukeboy.”

They stay at the coffee shop till it gets dark, and Steve enjoys studying for once.

***

On Friday, Steve has a rewritten paragraph that he’s quite frankly proud of. It’s lengthy and he read over it a couple of times just to make sure that it was perfect. (He even showed it to Nancy at lunch. She was very proud of him.)

“I finished my paragraph. You’re gonna love it.” Steve’s leaning by Felix’s locker, his bag against his chest.

“You did, huh? I’ll read it when we get in the car.” Felix’s attention is only partly on Steve, the other half on what looks like a math test.

“I did, now hurry up so you can read it and get blown away by my amazing writing.”

“Sure I will, Stevie!” there’s a hint of sarcasm in Felix’s voice, but it’s more so endearment. When they get to Steve’s car, Steve immediately shakes his paper in Felix’s face.

“I got it, I got it! You’re so eager today.” Felix grabs the paper and straightens it out.

“I am, and I’m also very proud of that. Be gentle. ‘Cus harsh criticism makes me want to give up everything.”

Felix gives him a look before turning back to the paper and reading it over. He’s quietly reading it aloud, going over every couple of words while nodding in approval. Felix seems proud of it, and that makes Steve prouder than he already was.

“This is really good! You did good with the part where you mentioned your childhood, and also why you explained sci-fi is one of your favourite movie genres. And I liked the connection you made to Han Solo and how you could relate to him. This is really good, Stevie. I’m proud of you.” Felix pats Steve’s shoulder, smiling brightly and giving the sheet back to him.

“Thank you, thank you. I’m here all week. And thank _you_ , too. I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you and Nancy. I have an essay to write on the weekend and I’m very confident about it.” Steve puts the paper back into his bag and flings it into the back seat, buckling up his seatbelt.

“You owe me a treat for that paragraph. Don’t think I forgot because you got all sweet on me.”

“I know, I know. Shut up and let me drive, dude.”

“So where to, Jukeboy?”

They arrive at Starcourt mall and head straight to Scoops Ahoy. The parlour has a few kids lined up before them, but the wait isn’t long. (Steve remembers the long ass lineup for funnel cake in California and thanks Hawkins for having a population of like, ten people.) Felix orders their usual--chocolate vanilla swirl with cookie crunch for Steve and a vanilla scoop with sprinkles for himself--and pays after Steve contemplates changing up his order for five minutes and ends up going with his usual anyways. The employee whips up their orders in a jiffy, the lady handing them their cones.

“Enjoy your ice cream! Ahoy!” she chirps, a forced grin on her face.

“Ahoy,” Steve subconsciously says back, pursing his lips and tipping the ice cream cone upwards. He walks out of the shop without noticing what he just said.

“Did you… Did you just say ahoy back?” Felix looks like he’s about to burst into laughter. Steve looks petrified.

“No! No, no, no. I did not. I think you’re hearing things.” Steve goes red and tries to apathetically eat his ice cream.

“Oh my God, I’m never gonna let you live this down, Captain Ice Cream!”

Steve stops in his tracks at the nickname. “Please don’t ever call me that again.”

“Aye, aye, Captain Ice Cream!” Felix is fully laughing now.

“I hate this, I hate you, oh my God.” Steve storms out of the mall and Felix follows behind him, laughing until his lungs give in.

***

Steve gets a B on his essay and he’s ecstatic about it. Nancy congratulates him through kisses and Felix takes him out for another round of ice cream, this time not at Scoops Ahoy because he’s still traumatized by the last time they went. By the end of September, Steve’s english average bullets from a sixty four up to a seventy five. That’s progress if anyone’s ever seen it. He can’t thank Felix enough.

***

October 4th, 1984 is Steve’s eighteenth birthday. For every birthday he’s had since he turned fifteen, he’s held a big birthday party at his house after having dinner with his parents. Now that he’s eighteen, he’s gotten tired of it. (And, he also doesn’t have enough friends for that, not that it matters.) He doesn’t want to deal with the post-party mess that people he doesn’t even know have left, drunk teens passing out on his couch, his mom’s expensive vases getting smashed, and everything else that comes with holding a party full of teenagers. For once, Steve doesn’t want to be in the spotlight.

Steve wakes up surprisingly early, fairly excited about the day to come. It’s his birthday and Nancy said she’d take him out on a little date after school finished. Today was a Thursday and they have school off tomorrow, so he might ask Nancy to stay the night.

He picks out his best outfit--a striped rugby shirt, his navy blue members only jacket, grey jeans, and his signature _Nike Cortez_ \--spends a chunk of time doing his hair, eats breakfast, brushes his teeth, then goes to school.

When he enters the school, he sees Felix and Nancy chatting about something he can’t hear, the two of them looking at Steve before Felix disappears to go somewhere. Huh.

Nancy prances over to Steve, greeting him with a soft kiss on his lips. “Happy birthday, Steve! You ready for our birthday date, birthday boy?” She’s smiling happily, her eyes sparkling. He wraps his arms around her waist, smiling as widely as she is.

“I’m very ready. I can’t wait. I love you so much, you really didn’t have to do that.”

“It’s your birthday, why wouldn’t I have? I’ll see you at lunch and after school.”

“I love you!” Steve shouts as Nancy leaves to go to her class. She probably didn’t hear him because she doesn’t return the statement. (It doesn’t trouble him because he’s too excited for his date after school.)

Steve walks into english class expecting to see Felix in his seat next to his, but his desk is empty. He just saw him this morning; where is he? Felix never skips class, he knows that for a fact. It’s weird not seeing him since he sees him every day. But especially today, since it’s his birthday. It’s his birthday and his best friend didn’t even say happy birthday to him. He pokes his tongue at the inside of his cheek and sits at his desk, not even bothering to pay attention to the lesson.

When lunch comes around, Felix is still nowhere to be found, and Steve’s kind of petty about it.

“Where’d Felix go? I saw him this morning,” Steve says as he takes a seat in the cafeteria.

“He had to go do something with his dad,” Nancy pitches in, giving Jonathan a suspicious look.

“Yeah, what she said,” Jonathan says.

“Hm. Smells a little fishy, he’s here everyday and not on my birthday?” Steve takes a bite from his sandwich.

“I’m sure he’ll stop by. You two are attached by the hip. And happy birthday, by the way.” Jonathan gives him a smile.

“Yeah! Don’t worry about it too much, babe,” Nancy assures.

But he does worry about it too much anyways.

///

Nancy takes Steve to a nice little restaurant after school, staying there to eat for an hour and a half. The place served italian, the walls were all brick, the tables were candlelit, and there were strings of lightbulbs hung up across the ceilings. It was all very aesthetically pleasing, at least to Steve and Nancy.

Shortly after their date, they go to Steve’s place. Nancy kept trying to subtly edge him to go to his place instead of going to the movies. She was persistent about it so Steve went with it.

When Steve gets to the front door, the first thing he notices is that the curtains are shut and there are no lights on inside. If he remembers correctly, he left the curtains undone and a lamp on. (Did someone break in?)

“Nancy, I think someone’s inside--”

“Huh?”

“I left the curtains open when I left home, and my parents aren’t home until nine tonight.”

Nancy sighs and opens the door herself, shoves him inside, the lights suddenly turn on, and there Felix is holding a bristol board with the words “HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVE!” written onto it. The entire living room is embellished in birthday decor, rainbow streamers strung up on the walls, balloons tied to chairs, and confetti all over his tables. Steve’s dumbfounded.

“Felix, you piece of shit!” Steve exclaims before dropping his things and running straight at him just to pull him into a tight embrace. Felix drops the poster and hugs him back, his arms wrapping around his lower back.

“Thanks?” Felix is rightfully confused.

“I didn’t see you at all today and I was mad you bailed on me but apparently you broke into my house to put up decorations. Don’t know whether to be happy or scared.” Steve pulls away and coughs.

“Both? I would’ve said hi earlier but it would’ve ruined the surprise.”

“Wait,” Steve turns to Nancy, “Did you know about this?”

Nancy nods, a sweet smile on her face. “Jonathan did, too. He’s getting the cake right now, actually.”

Steve is once again dumbstruck. God, he loves his friends.

Holding back tears, he grabs both Nancy and Felix by their arms and hugs them both.

“You guys are the best. Thank you so much, all three of you.” Steve beams, getting startled by his front door swinging open.

“I got the cake!” Jonathan is in the doorway holding up a box from the local bakery.

Steve has a grin on his face. “Let’s get this party started, fellas!”

///

It’s eight PM and all four--Nancy, Steve, Felix, and Jonathan in that order--of them are snuggled up on the couch under a cave of blankets watching _Star Wars: A New Hope_. Prior to their soon to be movie marathon, they ate Steve’s cake and had a few drinks. Now, they’re snacking on popcorn and chips while watching Steve’s favourite movie.

Steve’s birthday is essentially perfect so far. He got to go on a date with his girlfriend, eat cake with his closest friends, and now he’s watching Star Wars with them. His parents are also coming home in a few hours so at least they’ll be here for awhile. Steve’s starting to favour being out of the limelight. He can truly be himself.

“I think I’m a lot like Han Solo.” Steve says after the clip of Han Solo running down a hall and screaming. He pretty much did that exact thing last year at the Byers’ place, so he does have a valid point.

“I can see that,” Jonathan says.

“We’re both handsome rogues who have cool outfits and nice hair,” Steve says that and the three of them give him a questionable look. “Nancy’s like Leia and Felix is like Luke. I think that explains itself.” Nancy and Felix look at each other and shrug in agreement.

“Who am I?” Jonathan grabs some of the popcorn.

Steve thinks for a moment. “You’re Jabba the Hutt.”

“Are you implying that he’s your drug dealer?” Felix says.

Nancy moves in her spot to look at Felix. “Jabba wasn’t a drug dealer, Felix.”

“Sick,” Jonathan says.

They continue to watch the movie, the four of them (Jonathan not so much) making commentary on the characters and scenes every few minutes. _(“Chewie deserved a fucking medal.” “You’re absolutely right.” “But--” “Shut up, Jonathan.”)_ Watching Star Wars is extremely fun for Steve and it makes him feel like a kid again. The last time he watched this was with Tommy back when they were friends and he was actually nice; that was before high school even started. Steve doesn’t give a shit about Tommy because he’s making new memories with people that he cares about and who care about him just as much. Having real friends feels really good.

Steve’s parents come home halfway through _The Empire Strikes Back_ with a bag that Steve presumes is a birthday gift because of the fact that it has a big festive bow tied onto it. All four teens turn their heads to the door when they hear the sound of it unlocking, Steve going up to them to say hello and give his mother a hug.

“Bonne fête, mon petit. And hello, Steve’s friends,” his mother says, giving him his present and smiling briefly at Nancy, Felix, and Jonathan. It’s his first time Felix and Jonathan are meeting Steve’s parents.

Steve’s father pats his shoulder and says a quick “happy birthday, son,” before heading up to his office. He’s not close to his dad, but he does appreciate that gesture. Growing up, Steve has always been a mama’s boy. His mother would teach him to cook and bake, which ended up being very useful since Steve’s home alone so much. She was also the one to get him into baseball, encouraging him every step of the game. He loves her a lot, and it’ll always baffle him how such a sweet woman married such a dick.

Once acquainted with his parents, Steve returns to his seat on the couch and they resume their Star Wars marathon.

“You’re french?” Jonathan asks, leaning forward to look at Steve.

“Uh, oui. Only half,” Steve replies, shrugging.

“What’s the other half?”

Steve squints. “Italian. Why do you need to know? You a spy, Byers?”

“Just curious. Don’t make it weird.” Jonathan turns back to the TV.

“Your ma’s pretty, you’ve got her eyes,” Felix whispers to Steve. _(He did NOT just say “you” and “pretty” in the same sentence.)_

“Got all my pretty looks from her, don’tcha think?” Steve mumbles back. _(Please don’t agree, please don’t agree, please don’t agree--)_

“You did.” Felix pulls the blanket higher over his face, his eyes gandering over the edge of it.

Steve doesn’t say anything. He just keeps his eyes on the television screen and does his best to retain his blush. Normally, he’d be all cocky and confident about compliments. But for some unknown reason, Felix seems to be able to get past that.

///

They finish watching the Star Wars trilogy at around one AM, Jonathan and Nancy asleep on the makeshift bed they threw together in front of the couch. The four of them decided to have a sleepover after _Empire_ ended, all of them wanting to finish the trilogy. Steve’s parents didn’t care whether they stayed or not, and they all contacted their own parents just to let them know they wouldn’t be home for the night. Having a movie marathon with his friends is Steve’s ideal way to end his birthday, and he’s glad it became a reality.

“Hey, can I have you for a second?” Felix says to Steve, Steve cleaning up a few plates before going to bed.

“What’s up?”

“Didn’t give you your birthday present yet. I’ll need the TV but I don’t wanna wake Jon and Nance, so could we use the TV in your room?”

“Oh yeah, sure. Didja give me a whole movie or something?”

“No guesses, you’ll see when you see.”

Steve dries his hands and puts all the plates and bowls he washed away, leading Felix to his bedroom to receive his gift. Steve turns on his TV, the screen a solid blue when he switches to the auxiliary mode. Once comfy, Felix gives him a wrapped shoebox.

“You really didn’t have to--”

“Shut it, Harrington. It’s my best boy’s birthday-- _hah, that’s an alliteration_ \--so I had to give him a gift. Him being you. I promise it’s nothing big.”

“Fine.” Steve looks up at him, Felix leaning against his wall while he sits on his bed, and begins to deftly unwrap the present. The shoebox alone is all brown in colour, but when he opens it, the inside is all painted different shades and hues, pictures of Steve and his friends (mostly Felix himself and Nancy) taped along the walls of the box. There’s also a VHS tape labelled “Stevie-o.”

“Felix--”

“Just put it in.”

Steve takes the tape and inserts it into the VHS player routed to the TV, the screen glitching for a hot second before the screen goes black and the words “CALIFORNIA TRIP SUMMER 1984” pop up in white, capital letters. The screen flickers before the homemade movie rolls: footage of their trip to California begins to play in a compilation, Queen’s _You’re My Best Friend_ used as background music. Clips of them in the car, them on the beach, Steve in Norm’s Diner, random shots of scenery, and basically everything else they saw on the trip flash on the screen, Steve unable to take his eyes off it. The video lasts the entirety of the song, it ending with “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAPTAIN ICE CREAM :).” When the screen goes back to it’s blue state, Steve pulls Felix into the tightest hug he’s ever given.

“That’s the best thing anyone’s ever made for me.” Steve sounds like he’s on the verge of tears, his head nuzzled into the nape of Felix’s neck.

“You’re welcome, Steve. I’m so glad you love it. It’s what you deserve.”

Steve pulls away and bites his lip, letting his hand linger atop Felix’s shoulder.

“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, Felix. Thank you. For sticking with me, or whatever. And the gift, too.”

“You’re my best friend, too, Steve. I wouldn’t ask for anyone else.”

***

The rest of October goes by like a rollercoaster. It starts off really well, it being Steve’s birthday and all, then jerks straight down when Felix stops hanging out with him for a bit (his old friend Max coincidentally moved into Hawkins), he and Nancy console Barb’s parents, he doesn’t talk to Jonathan as much anymore, and it’s just a whole weird mess. Steve keeps having to patch Felix up from fights that he gets into and won’t tell him about, and he just feels like everyone’s drifting from him. It’s a terrible feeling and Steve absolutely despises it. He knows all his friends have separate lives outside of their relationship with him but he’s just paranoid all the time.

Steve’s not used to having _real_ friends. And now that he has them, he really doesn’t want to lose them.


	4. don't go breaking my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings for brief descriptions of violence, blood mentions, and slight gore.

Nancy and Steve go as Lana and Joel from _Risky Business_ for Halloween. This morning, Steve got Nancy to go with him to Tina’s stupid Halloween party to distract themselves from this situation with Barb’s parents and the entire Barb issue. It’s been hard as hell on Nancy, and Steve just wants her to be happy and forget about it. So, he and Nancy go to this party to be dumb teenagers and loosen up, even if it’s only for a night.

The party is just like any other: alcohol, adolescents, and absurdities. People are making out, drinking, and losing their minds. There’s loud music booming from speakers Steve can’t even pinpoint, some red mystery drink that has God knows what in it, and dancing. (Steve doesn’t hate the music, but he’d rather be listening to one of he and Felix’s mixtapes.) He and Nancy have a fair amount of fun--grooving to the music, chatting with friends, etcetera--up till Nancy has one too many drinks.

They make a scene after Steve tries to get Nancy to stop drinking, the two of them departing to the bathroom.

“That’s not coming off, Nance.” Steve’s watching his drunk girlfriend attempt to wash her drink stained shirt. He feels like shit. “Let me just take you home, okay? Come here. Let me take you home.” Steve’s getting stressed now, he hates seeing Nancy like this.

“You wanted this,” Nancy slurs.

“No, I didn’t want this. I told you to stop drinking.”

“It's bullshit. Bullshit.”

“No, it’s not bullshit, okay? No, it's not bullshit, Nancy.”

“No, you. You’re bullshit. You’re pretending like everything is okay. You know, like we didn't like we didn’t kill Barb. Like it’s great. Like we’re in love and we’re partying. Yeah, let’s party, huh? Party, we’re partying. This is bullshit.”

Steve stops listening after Nancy says “like we’re in love.” His entire world falls apart right then and there.

“ _Like_ we’re in love?” Steve shudders. He feels like he’s about to turn into tears.

“It’s bullshit.”

“You don’t love me?”

“Bullshit.”

At that last word, Steve leaves the bathroom before he can hear any more of this. He pushes past the crowd (notifying Jonathan that Nancy’s shitfaced in the bathroom and that he should be the one to take her home) and enters his car, never once taking his eyes off his feet. When he reaches his car, he slams the door shut, buries his head into his hands, and starts crying.

He can’t function right now. His girlfriend just confessed that she doesn’t love him. The same girl who he changed for. The same girl who he loved with every fiber of his being. The same girl who took Steve Harrington’s heart, cherished it, then crushed it right in front of him.

He should’ve seen this coming. He knew how she was with Jonathan; sharing deep glances with him and touching him like he does with her. Her unspoken crush on Jonathan isn’t new. He can’t come to conclusions, but this is the most obvious one.

Steve was right this whole time. Nancy Wheeler was too good to be true.

He’s still crying when Felix enters the passenger seat. Steve didn’t even know Felix came to this party.

Faking a cough, he pushes on his sunglasses to shield his tear ridden eyes.

“Hey, Jukeboy. Didn’t know you came to the party.” Steve tries to act like he wasn’t crying despite Felix just seeing him sobbing his eyes out.

“What happened?”

“I’ll tell you at home.”

“Okay.”

They drive to Steve’s house in complete silence, Steve refusing to say anything until he’s home.

When they get home, Steve shuffles through a cabinet in his room, grabs a pack of cigarettes and a lighter before heading out to the backyard and sitting on one of the beach chairs by the pool. He slips the cigarette in between his lips and lights it, taking a drag as Felix sits in the chair adjacent to his.

“You gonna tell me what happened?” Felix’s voice is so soft.

“Nancy just told me she doesn’t love me. Said our relationship was bullshit.” Steve’s voice is monotone yet entwined with anger and sadness and pain.

“Was she drunk?”

“Drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts. Woman in that case.” Steve breathes out a cloud of smoke, staring blankly at the teal glow of the pool.

Felix doesn’t speak for a bit.

“Have I ever told you about Stella?”

Steve taps away ashes from the nicotine stick and shakes his head.

“She was my first girlfriend. I met her before I even knew about you. I loved her a lot, loved her like you love Nancy. She was practically perfect.”

“Loved?”

“Yeah, loved. She… she went missing last year. Never showed up to a date we planned. Thought she bailed, but not even her parents knew where she was. She was my everything, ya know? But now, she’s probably dead. Never got the chance to live everything I wanted to with her. You still have another chance.”

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Felix.”

The first thing that comes into mind is that what happened to Barb most likely happened to Stella. He can’t tell him that, though. He wishes he could.

Steve is quiet for five minutes straight, the duo just letting the cold get to them. “It’s harder to forget something that’s still here. Can’t have something that’s not here,” Steve mutters, and that gets Felix to turn to him.

“Excuse me?”

Steve looks at him.

“I tell you something I’ve never told anyone before and you say that? She’s dead, you don’t have to rub it in my damn face.”

“That’s not what I meant--”

“Yeah, but you said it, Steve. You said it.” Felix stands up and starts to walk back to the back door, but Steve grabs his wrist before he can leave.

“Felix, fuck. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I said that. I didn’t mean it, I swear. Please just… please don’t leave. I’m sorry, that was really fucking shitty of me. I just… I can’t be alone right now, okay?” Steve’s so desperate and he starts to cry again. Steve’s fucking horrible.

Felix seizes his arm away from Steve, but doesn’t run. “I’m sleeping on the couch.”

Steve doesn’t sleep. Instead, he creeps down the stairs at two AM--after staying up for an hour-- to try and apologize to Felix.

“What do you want,” Felix deadpans, evidently hearing Steve coming down the stairs. It’s a surprise he’s awake. Steve knows Felix values sleep.

Steve steps over to the couch and takes a seat by Felix’s feet. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry I said that. I’m impulsive and fucking stupid and I say dumb shit when I’m sad or mad and I happened to be both. God, Felix, you really deserved better than that. I’m sorry. I’m sorry about saying that. I’m sorry about Stella.”

Felix sits up and lies his hands by his sides. “I miss her. A lot. It’s been over a year and I’m already over her but I just miss her so much.”

“I’m sure she was great.”

“She was. The greatest. And… And I’m sorry about Nancy. I’m sure she was just drunk, ‘cus she loves you a lot. More than you know.”

Steve’s chest aches and he’s clenching his jaw so hard that his teeth might just break. They’re sitting two feet apart, the both of them fixated on the black TV screen.

After a couple of prolonged minutes, Steve shyly reaches his hand over to Felix’s and entangles their fingers together, letting their clasped hands sit in between them. He felt the need to do that in consolidation of his apology.

They stay like that until they fall asleep, never letting go of one another’s hands nor saying a word.

///

Steve wakes up with a sore back and Felix long gone. He probably went home or went to school, but the lack of his presence leaves Steve feeling empty. His confrontation with Nancy last night contributes to the empty feeling as well.

Nonetheless, he gets cleaned up and goes to school.

///

Nancy interrupts gym class to speak with Steve about the night before. Steve really doesn’t want to be doing this.

“What are you doing here?” Steve’s not having it.

“What do you think? Where were you this morning? I missed first period.”

“I figured Jonathan would take you.”

“What… What are you talking about?”

“Jesus, you really can’t handle your alcohol. Uh, you remember going to Tina’s party last night, right?”

“Yes.”

“And then what?”

“I remember dancing, and spilling some punch. You got mad at me because I was drunk and then you took me home.”

Even hearing her just say that is getting him mad again. “No, see, that’s where your mind gets a little bit fuzzy. That was your other boyfriend. That was Jonathan.”

Nancy’s lost. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s pretty simple, Nancy. You were just telling it like it is. Uh, apparently, we killed Barb and I don’t care, ‘cus I’m bullshit and our whole relationship is bullshit, and I mean, pretty much everything is just bullshit, bullshit, bullshit,” Steve takes a breath to calm himself down. “Oh, yeah, also, you don’t love me.”

“I was drunk, Steve. I don’t remember any of that.”

“So that makes everything that you said It’s what? Just bullshit, too?”

“Yes!”

“Well, then tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

His voice starts to break. “You love me.”

All this time, Steve thought Nancy would be his forever girl. He thought they’d go to prom together, live together, get married together, have a family together, and grow old together; he imagined everything in life to be together with Nancy. Call him a hopeless romantic, but he really did think that once upon a time. Nancy is one of, if not, the best things that’s ever happened to him. It’s heartbreaking to know that Nancy doesn’t feel the same way.

Nancy doesn’t tell him she loves him.

***

Steve doesn’t talk to or see Felix for the next few days after the minor fight they had. He and Nancy don’t speak either. He doesn’t talk to many people for those next few days. He wants to recompose himself before returning to his talkative nature, afraid he’ll lash out on someone and pull some dumb shit. He’s unquestionably a new person, but he still deals with those same old mistakes believe it or not.

One day, he finally gets the guts and sense to go and apologize to Nancy for how he talked to her outside of the gymnasium.

Parking his car outside of the Wheeler’s place, he grabs the bouquet of roses he bought for Nancy and exits his car, beginning to go over what he’s going to say to her.

“I love you. I’m sorry,” he says, running a hand through his hair, “I’m sorry? What the hell am I sorry for?” Before he even gets to the front door, he’s stopped by Dustin Henderson, a kid who he never expected to ever talk to.

“Are those for Mr. or Mrs. Wheeler?” Dustin asks.

“No?”

“Good.” Dustin snatches the roses from his hand.

“Hey--what the hell, hey!”

“Nancy isn’t home.”

“Where is she?”

“Doesn’t matter. We have bigger problems than your love life. Do you still have that bat?”

(What the fuck does this kid mean? Steve literally doesn’t have a damn clue what’s going on.)

“Bat? What bat?”

“The one with the nails.”

“Why?”

“I’ll explain it on the way.”

Dustin doesn’t even ask permission, he just gets into the passenger seat.

“Now?”

“Now!”

Steve follows the kid anyways. He doesn’t have anything better to do.

Dustin tells him all about this creature he found and took in as a pet, saying it might just be from the Upside Down. Jesus Christ, is this stuff happening all over again? Steve’s only half paying attention, too busy listening to _Hammer To Fall_ playing on his car radio.

“Wait a sec. How big?” Steve finally asks.

“First it was like that,” Dustin holds out his thumb and his pointer finger to illustrate its minuscule size, “Now he’s like this.” He brings up his second hand and holds it around two feet from his other hand to represent how large this creature got. Steve doesn’t believe it.

“I swear to God, man, it’s just some little lizard, okay?”

“It’s not a lizard.”

“How do you know?”

“How do I know if it’s not a lizard?”

“How do you know if it’s not just a lizard?!”

“Because his face opened up and he ate my cat.”

Steve stops talking. Yeah, it’s for sure from the Upside Down. Steve raises his brows, nods in agreement and continues to drive to Dustin’s house. Once there, he tosses his keys to Dustin and unveils his bat for the first time since last year.

Dustin leads him to his backyard, pointing out the bunker where Dustin trapped the lizard thing earlier today.

Steve pokes the bunker door with his bat once, then hits it harder a second time when no noise came out of it. He doesn’t hear anything.

“Alright, listen, kid. I swear, if this is some sort of Halloween prank,” Steve shines the flashlight he was holding into Dustin’s eyes. “You’re dead.”

“It’s not--”

“Alright?”

“--A prank. Get it out of my face.”

“You got a key for this thing?”

The doors open and there still aren’t any signs of movement down there whatsoever, Dustin staying outside while Steve courageously enters the bunker like the soldier he is. The bunker is pitch black and it’s much more frightening once you’re actually inside it. With each step he takes, Steve feels like he’s getting closer and closer to meeting the face of the devil, which happens to be the Demogorgon. He gets to the final step of the staircase and expects to be eaten by an interdimensional monster, but he’s met with nothing. Not a single thing. Then, he turns on the light bulb hanging from the ceiling.

On the ground right in front of him, there’s a pile of some kind of plasticy substance oozing in slime, and a gaping hole in the wall right behind it. Picking whatever the goo coated thing is up on his bat, he peeks through the entrance to get Dustin down here.

“Oh shit,” Dustin says. Steve points the flashlight towards the hole, and they both crouch down in front of it.

Loose bricks are splayed out across the entryway of the hole, and it’s not just a hole. By the time they look into it, they now realize that the hole goes further down than expected. It’s endless.

It’s a tunnel.

***

The next morning, Steve and Dustin set off to try and trap Dustin’s baby demogorgon. It’s a ridiculous idea, but it could work. They’re both smart enough to know that they can’t let a potential demogorgon terrorize the town again, so they devise a plan to kill it before it can get any bigger. Their scheme is to leave trails of meat--Steve doesn’t ask why Dustin has so much of it--up to the junkyard and kill it there, far from the town and any possible witnesses or victims. It’s a solid idea, but if it fails, they either die themselves or Hawkins gets fucked in the ass all over again.

Steve would’ve never pictured himself walking down a train track with Dustin Henderson, yet here he is doing just that. While dropping pieces of meat in a trail like Hansel and Gretel.

On the trip to the junkyard, Dustin asks Steve for relationship advice. Fortunately for him, that’s one of Steve’s expertises. Steve tells Dustin about the electricity you feel when you fall in love (He’s felt that electricity with Nancy. And with one other person. He just doesn’t talk about that second person because it confuses the hell out of him) and he also makes sure Dustin doesn’t rush things because he’s projecting onto this situation and he doesn’t want this kid to experience heartbreak like he did. Dustin’s way too young for that.

The junkyard is a perfect place to confine the demogorgon. There are old, rusty, broken down cars and other vehicles all over an open field, and a large bus for them to hide inside. When it gets dark, this junkyard will become a battlefield.

When they get to the junkyard, Dustin’s friend Lucas is already there with some redhead kid Steve doesn’t recognize.

“Who’s that?” Steve asks.

Dustin doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t take his eyes off her either. Steve pieces the look on Dustin’s face and this girl together. Now _this_ is the girl Dustin was “theoretically” enthusing about on the train tracks. The kid’s got a stunned look on his face, and it’s quite endearing.

They start propping up boards and morsels of old metal laying around to create barriers and to strengthen the exterior of the bus, Dustin taking Lucas to the side to talk to him about something Steve doesn’t care about. He’s stuck with this random girl, but at least she’s helping.

“Are you Steve? Steve Harrington?”

Steve looks up from the car he was messing with. “Yeah? And you are?”

“Max. The one from California. Felix’s friend.”

Oh.

“You talk to him recently?” Steve sounds a little sad.

“Mhm. He doesn’t shut up about you. You should talk to him. He was a little upset last time he told me about you.”

(He doesn’t shut up about you.)

_Oh._

///

When night comes around, the three kids and Steve situate themselves inside the bus, awaiting Dart’s _(“What’s its name again?” “D’Artagnan.” “Dar--what?” “Dart, Steve. Just say Dart.”)_ arrival.

Steve’s currently sitting on the floor by the ladder, repeatedly opening, lighting, and closing a lighter to appease his boredom. He wants to ask Max, who’s sitting on his left behind the ladder, about what Felix says about him, but he can’t because he’ll probably annoy her about it and over analyse everything she says. He just continues to twiddle with the lighter. Suddenly, there’s a growl loud enough for everyone to hear.

Dustin and Steve squat by the window, examining the wasteland outside for whatever made that noise. They spot what looks like Dart in the distance, but it’s not taking the bait. It’s just circling the perimeter slowly and ominously.

“It’s not taking the bait.”

Steve doesn’t delay. He gets up from his spot and clutches his bat, throwing the lighter into Dustin’s hands. “Just get ready.”

The junkyard at night is otherworldly; the ground is completely enveloped in fog, the only light source aside from the moon is a single lamppost, the cars all look like death machines, and all these components together create an eerie atmosphere. It reminds Steve of Dagobah, but ten times more terrifying.

Steve enticingly swings the bat in front of himself, Dart about ten metres away from him. He tries to coax it by spitting dumb one-liners he knows Dart can’t even understand, but he thinks he sounds cool as hell right now.

He’s head on with Dart now, and he’s ready to strike. But when the fog uncovers it, Steve kinda just reevaluates his choices. Seeing it this close sends chills down Steve’s spine. Dart is fucking hideous: it looks like a hairless, slimey, alien dog with no head. He’s about to swing when--

“STEVE! WATCH OUT! THREE O’CLOCK, THREE O’CLOCK!”

Steve’s head snaps back towards Lucas’ directions, and Steve spots what Lucas was yelling about. Another Dart. And another. And another.

Holy shit, he’s going to die. For real.

“STEVE! ABORT! ABORT!”

Dart number one charges straight at him and he hops and slides swiftly over the hood of the nearest car to dodge it, falling over the edge and quickly standing back up. Dart number two makes a run for him and he whacks it with everything he has, sending it flying. He doesn’t want to meet Dart numbers three, four, and five, so he makes a beeline for the bus, the kids all bunched up in the entryway shouting at him.

He jumps into the bus and hastily kicks the door shut, taking a metal panel and using it to hold down the door. It’s not strong enough because Dart number who fucking knows now barges in. They all scream at the top of their lungs and Steve mercilessly pummels the demogorgon dog with his bat. It’s absolute chaos because Steve’s still battering the monster and the kids are still shrieking and running around the bus like madmen while a bunch of demon dogs swarm the bus they’re trapped in. Steve loses track of what’s happening, then Max lets out the loudest scream yet. He rises to his feet and pushes Max out of the way, holding up his bat like a sword.

“You want some? Come get this!” Steve shouts at the demogorgon above them, ready to swing. It howls at him but turns away, unexpectedly running off. Everything and everyone goes silent.

They’re still shaking while they all vigilantly retreat from the bus, getting a quick peep at the demogorgons all scampering away.

“Steve scared ‘em off?”

“No way. They’re going somewhere.”

///

They find out that the demogorgons are heading back to Hawkins lab, their home, per se. They march through the forest until they reach the lab, Dustin and Lucas arguing for most of the voyage. Also, Steve fights the urge (again) to inundate Max with questions about Felix and how Felix perceives him and their relationship. He doesn’t wanna put all of that on some kid he just met.

As they reach the lab, two figures are calling them out from behind the trees. Steve and the kids step out from the forest and the two figures from earlier end up being Nancy and Jonathan.

“Steve?” They say simultaneously.

“Nancy?” Steve says back.

Steve’s chest kind of drops at the sight of Nancy and Jonathan together. Nancy has plausibly been with Jonathan these past few days, but Steve won’t make any brash assumptions. He doesn’t want to relive last year’s incident between he, Jonathan, and Nancy.

They all find out they’re after the same goal: looking for Will and Mike. And seemingly enough, both boys are in the lab with Joyce Byers and chief Hopper.

***

Steve would’ve never thought he’d be back at the Byers’ house at the end of the world again, but he is. And so is everyone else involved in this entire Upside Down fiasco. They formulate part of a plan after Eleven returns (Steve has no clue who this random girl dressed like an edgy teen is) and everyone does their allocated jobs. Steve’s not really listening because he saw Nancy and Jonathan being all close and he can’t stop thinking about it.

“You should go with him.” Steve and Nancy are in the backyard fetching any instrument they can find that produces heat. (It’s part of the plan to exorcise the Mind Flayer from Will’s body.)

“What?”

“With Jonathan.” Steve picks up a bundle of christmas lights.

“No,” Nancy scoffs, “I’m not just gonna leave Mike.”

“No one’s leaving anyone.” Steve walks up to Nancy and picks up some sort of machine. “I may be a pretty shitty boyfriend but… Turns out I’m actually a pretty damn good babysitter,” He chuckles, but it’s just to lighten the mood.

“Steve…”

“It’s okay, Nance. It’s okay.”

Steve and Nancy have officially broken up.

***

Steve _really_ hates Billy Hargrove.

He’s only known this guy for a month now, and Steve knows he’ll never like him. The guy walks into places with a demeaning aura, automatically thinking he’s the king of the castle. He picks on everyone he sees, flirts with girls and treats them like garbage, and is an overall jackass. Billy’s a hyperbolized version of himself from a year ago, and he _hated_ his old self.

Billy shows up at the Byers’ house while he’s keeping the kids safe. They’ve already got a herd of demon dogs to deal with, and now they have to deal with the devil personified.

“Am I dreaming, or is that you, Harrington?”

Steve wants to punch him in his little ogre face.

“Yeah, it’s me. Don’t cream your pants.”

“What are you doing here, amigo?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Amigo.” Steve places his hand on his hip, attempting to keep his eyes anywhere but Billy’s face because he can’t bare to look at it.

“Looking for my stepsister. A little birdie told me she was here.”

“Huh, that’s weird. I don’t know her.” Why does Max have to be related to such a dick?

“Small? Redhead? Bit of a bitch.”

Steve’s going to kill him for calling her a bitch. “Doesn’t ring a bell. Sorry, buddy.”

“You know, I don’t know, this…” Billy clicks his tongue and flails his cigarette around. “This whole situation, Harrington, I don’t know. It's giving me the heebie-jeebies.”

“Oh, yeah? Why’s that?” Steve’s a horrible liar, but he’s trying.

“My 13 year old sister goes missing all day. And then I find her with you in a stranger’s house. And you lie to me about it.”

“Man, were you dropped too much as a child, or what? I don’t know what you don’t understand about what I just said. She’s not here.”

“Then who’s that?” Billy points the cigarette at the window behind them where the kids are peeking through. God fucking damn it.

“Listen--” Steve can’t even talk his way out of it because Billy vigorously shoves him into the ground and shuts him up. He writhes on the ground, holding his stomach where the most impact was made. After taking a moment to recover, he pushes himself onto his feet and strides back into the house.

Lucas was just pinned against the wall while the other kids yelled at Billy to get off him, but talking to Billy is like shouting at a brick wall. Billy was already an asshole but now he’s an overtly racist asshole, and Steve doesn’t tolerate people like that.

Lucas knees Billy right in the crotch. “So dead, Sinclair! You’re dead,” Billy grunts.

“No. You are.” Steve lunges at Billy’s shoulder, towing his arm back and socking Billy’s stupid fucking face square in the jaw. The kids roar in cheers, and Steve feels like a total badass.

Billy bellows a maniacal laugh. “Steve! Looks like you got some fire in you after all, huh? I’ve been waiting to meet this King Steve everybody’s been telling me so much about.”

Steve leaves a light push on Billy’s chest. “Get out.”

Billy stares at him as if he’s calculating, but Steve knows better and is two steps ahead of him. He’s ready for when Billy hooks a fist at him, Steve ducking and coming back with a jab to the head. The kids continue to applaud as Steve does his best to box him. Then, Billy smashes a plate over his head. The plate disorients Steve and gives Billy a margin big enough for him to get the higher end of the fight. Steve takes one blow and he’s done with.

Steve’s restrained on the floor, paper rustling underneath him as he takes punches left and right from Billy’s fists. He’s vulnerable and his vision is beginning to blur and the last thing he hears are the kids’ faded shrieks and the thwock of skin and bone.

///

“I’m going to kill him, Max. He’s literally going to die by my fists.”

“Calm down, Lex--”

“No, Max! I am not calming down because _my boy,_ ” he jabs a finger in Steve’s direction, “Is passed out in the back seat because of your deadbeat stepbrother!”

Steve wakes up to the sound of a familiar voice arguing with what he assumes is Max. He blinks his eyes open and the first thing he sees is--

“Nancy?”

His eyesight returns and that’s certainly not Nancy. It’s Mike giving him a look that says “what did you just say to me?”

Steve’s sat in the middle of the backseat of a car he doesn’t recognize, the kids surrounding him. Dustin is on his left--or his right? He can’t tell--and Mike is on the other side. Max and Lucas are crammed together in the passenger seat, and Felix is angrily driving. Felix? _Felix._

“Hey, buddy,” Dustin shushes Steve’s pained groans, “It's okay. You put up a good fight. He kicked your ass, but you put up a fight.”

_What the FUCK is going on?_

Steve can barely see past the dashboard because the upper half of his body is stuffed in the trunk, but he does see the headlights paving a path for the car. And he can also feel the car going at an immense speed. It’s a hundred times worse for him because he just got his ass beat and his head is still spinning.

“What’s going on? Oh my God!” Steve finally says.

Felix whips his head back at the sound of Steve’s voice. “Stevie! Holy shit, are you okay? Oh my God, Billy’s in for it!” He sounds like a worried boyfriend. _(He did NOT just think of Felix as his worried boyfriend.)_

This is the first time Steve and Felix have talked since their fight, and he didn’t expect it to go down like this.

“They were gonna leave you behind.” Steve can’t tell who said that.

“Oh my God.” Steve can’t form any other sentences.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s going on? Oh my God. No! Whoa! Stop the car. Slow down!” Steve’s gripping the leather seat of the car like it’s the end of the world. It actually is, though.

“Everybody shut up! I’m trying to focus!” Felix snaps.

“Oh, wait, that’s Mount Sinai. Make a left.” Lucas says.

“What?”

“Make a left!”

The car jolts and makes a sharp turn to the left, everyone screaming. After a sudden rush, the car comes to a stop in a pumpkin patch.

They all get out of the car, well, Steve gets dragged outside by Felix.

Felix brings his hands up to Steve’s face and cups his cheeks, carefully tracing over the wounds on his skin.

“What the HELL happened?!” Felix asks, removing his hands from Steve’s face and crossing them over his chest. Felix is fuming.

“That… Hargrove kid… M’fine...” Steve can barely speak and he’s leaning against the car to steady himself.

“You’re such an idiot! You don’t know how worried I was when Max called me--”

The kids start putting on goggles and ludicrous looking gear. They’re all wearing bandanas over their mouths and rubber gloves.

“Oh, no. Guys. Hey, where do you think you’re going? What are you, deaf? Hello? We are not going down there right now. I made myself clear. Hey, there’s no chance we’re going to that hole, all right? This ends right now!” Steve commands, but none of them are listening. Not even Felix.

“Steve, you’re upset, I get it. But the bottom line is, a party member requires assistance, and it is our duty to provide that assistance. Now, I know you promised Nance that you would keep us safe. So, keep us safe,” Dustin replies, holding up a backpack filled with Steve’s things. Steve gives him a stern look, then, he takes the bag.

///

This is the first time Felix is hearing about the whole Hawkins Lab, Upside Down, Eleven disaster and he reacted appositely panicked. (“No, this can’t be happening. Guys, we have to leave I--” “Lex, we’re gonna be fine.” “No, you don’t understand, Max--” “Felix. We’re already in here, so help Steve protect us.”)

“Holy shit.”

The tunnels are like the ravines of the Grand Canyon, except dingy and bleak and uncomfortably cramped. The air is dense and there are dust particles floating everywhere, and the tunnels seem to go on forever. The walls are covered in goo, much like Dart’s molten skinsack. It’s nauseating.

The initial plan is to burn the centre of the tunnels, the heart of the Mind Flayer, to lure the demodogs (“Demogorgon, dog, demodog--” “We get it, Dustin.”) in and hope for the best. Their plan is patchy, but it’s the best they can do.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Steve mutters, catching Dustin’s attention.

“You watched Star Wars?”

“What? Yeah--this isn’t the time, man!”

For the duration of their venture into these perpetual caves, Felix is leeching onto Steve. His arm is looped around Steve’s, and he never once lets go. Steve can tell he’s scared, and that makes him scared, too.

“I’m pretty sure it’s this way.” Mike is already walking off.

“You’re pretty sure, or you’re certain?” Dustin retaliates.

“I’m a hundred percent sure. Just follow me and you’ll know.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I don’t think so. Any of you little shits die down here, I’m getting the blame. Got it, dipshit? From here on out, I’m leading the way. Come on, let’s go. Come on!” Steve pitches in, pointing the flashlight at them. “Hey, a little hustle.”

“What is this place?” Max asks, looking around the area.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Felix replies. Steve isn’t used to Felix being so quiet like this. He’s usually loud and charismatic, but now he’s mute and skittish.

“Guys, come on. Keep moving.”

They make it to the hub quicker than they know it. Along the way, Dustin gets shit in his eyes and freaks out about it despite being unaffected, they get lost once, and Dart makes an appearance. Though in the end, they get to their destination.

The floor of the hub gets doused in gasoline, and all that’s left to do is to light it up.

“I am in such deep shit.” Steve chucks the lighter at the gas and the hub goes up in flames.

As the fire ignites, everything falls apart from there.

At first, they only hear them. The rumbling of the terrain beneath them, the distant growls, and the sound of thunderous marching towards the hub. Then, they see them. The demodogs appear one by one, and that’s their cue to leave. Felix lets go of Steve’s arm, presumably to run, so Steve focuses on getting the kids out safely. He hears Max scream but he can’t do anything about it right now, so he just grabs her arm in his left hand and takes Dustin on his right and ushers the kids back to the entrance.

“Go, go, go!” Steve shouts haphazardly, practically pushing the kids out of the tunnel. Max is crying now but she still climbs up the exit with the other kids. Everyone’s yelling and by the time the flock of demodogs make it their way, Steve is stuck down there with Dustin. He looks down at the kid and his skin has gone white, tears rim his eyes, and his jaw hangs slack. Sheer fear manifests in Dustin. When the pack stampedes straight at them, Steve wraps his arms around the kid and hugs him for dear life, acting as Dustin’s shield.

They expect to get eaten alive, to die in these tunnels and never be spoken of again. But the herd just flies right by them as if they’re nonexistent.

Relief and bewilderment washes over Steve. On one hand, he’s more than grateful that Dustin’s alive. On the other, what force is drawing them away?

“Eleven.”

Steve looks up at the tunnel and he sees Mike with a shocked expression, and Max sobbing her eyes out right beside him.

With a broken voice, she starts to speak. “He’s still in there, Steve! He--he saw one of those demon dogs coming up behind me and he jumped in the way and he saved me but I couldn’t get to him because we we’re all running! Felix is still in there!”

_Felix is still in there._

Hearing Max inform him of what happened is equivalent to getting stabbed right in the chest. His heart shatters and he can’t function, he feels as if he’s going to pass out. He starts crying and his breathing gets heavy. _He_ left him there. It’s Steve’s fault that Felix is trapped back there.

“Everyone stay right fucking there, okay? I’m going to go back for him, I’m not leaving him down here,” Steve barks, pushing Dustin up the entryway before grabbing his bat and holding it so tightly that his knuckles go white.

And at that, Steve runs back for Felix.

Steve is sprinting blindly through the tunnels, calling out Felix’s name in hopes of getting an answer. He hears rustling, and he runs to wherever that sound came from.

Steve drops to his knees when he sees him.

There Felix lays, motionless against the wall of one of the tunnels leading up to the hub. Four large, bloody gashes are slashed across his torso, his chest just barely heaving. The shirt he’s wearing that was once white is now torn with claw marks and crimson, splats of blood coating his denim jacket. His mouth is open and his eyes are glazed. This is the worst thing Steve has _ever_ laid his eyes on.

The fire in the hub is still lit, orange and yellow lights illuminating the entire room, but all Steve can feel and see is black and blue.

Steve crawls over to Felix’s body, slipping out of his jacket and hurriedly wrapping it around his stomach, Felix wincing at his touch. He was crying before, but now he’s bawling.

“Steve?” Felix breathes, his head turning slightly.

“Holy fuck, Felix, I’m so sorry, I’m gonna get you outta here, okay? You’re not dying on me, you punk.” Steve is trembling and his vision is blurring because he’s crying too much.

He ties a knot on his jacket around Felix after using it as a large bandage and gently wedges his arms under Felix’s legs and back, swooping him up. Felix lets out a strained moan and grabs at his stomach. Steve needs to get themselves out of here as fast as he can because he _knows_ he can never forgive himself if he lets Felix die. Especially in his arms.

“Come on, we’re going home, okay? Keep your eyes open for me,” Steve instructs, making his way back to the entrance.

“Max…”

“She’s fine, you fucking idiot. You saved her life--but just _please_ don’t pull something like that again. Don’t fucking scare me like that. I can’t--”

_(Lose you.)_

This is the moment where Steve Harrington realizes he can _never_ lose Felix Hayes.


	5. lover, come back to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is really short and it's not the best because it's kind of a filler chapter, but bear with me. next chapter is... Eventful...

Steve has never liked hospitals.

He doesn’t like the constant smell of chemicals, the pristine walls, the ceaseless silence, and the inevitable, dreadful unknowingness of whether you or your loved ones will make it or not. Steve hates the latter the most.

The events of the Mind Flayer and Will Byers have folded over, everyone currently in the stage of recovery. Eleven has gone back into hiding with Jim Hopper, and Joyce Byers is mourning her ex-boyfriend and keeping Will company in his hospital bed along with the kids, Jonathan, and Nancy. Steve stopped by to meet Will--he’s a fighter, just like his mom--but he’s there for one reason and one reason only. That reason being Felix Hayes.

Felix was put in the operating room--for stitches and other medical procedures Steve wasn’t paying attention to--six hours ago, and Steve’s starting to get antsy. He was antsy before, but now it’s driving him nuts. He’s in the waiting room and he hasn’t stopped jiggling his right leg, raking his fingers through his hair, and chewing on his bottom lip ever since they first arrived. Steve has never felt true anxiety until now.

Max is sitting next to him right now, asleep on his shoulder. The kid wouldn’t stop crying till she tired herself out and dozed off. He knows how much Felix meant to her and she meant to Felix.

The waiting room is completely empty aside from Max and Steve, the occasional nurse passing by and causing Steve to whip his head around in their direction in hopes of getting called down to Felix’s room. Steve’s so focused on the house plant directly in front of him that he doesn’t even notice Nancy taking a seat beside him.

“Hey…”

He tears his eyes away from the plant and turns to her.

“Nancy,” Steve breathes, eyebrows contracting upwards. He carefully moves Max off of his shoulder and lays her head on the armrest of the sofa, then pulls Nancy into a firm embrace. He buries his face into the crevice between her shoulder and her neck, fingers grasping the fabric of her coat.

“Steve… He’s gonna be alright, okay?” she coos, planting a kiss to the side of his head.

“I left him in there, Nance. I left him in there.”

“It’s not your fault. Please don’t blame yourself for that.” She pulls away and places a hand on his cheek, the other lying on his knee.

“I’m so scared.”

“I know, Steve. He’s going to be okay. He’s tough. You know that.”

Steve does know that. Felix might be the toughest person he’s ever met. Sometimes, Felix would drop by with a black eye and smile it off like it was nothing. Steve would get worried and annoy him about it until Felix finally told him he got into a fight with someone he knew from California. (Felix didn’t even cry down in the tunnels.)

Nancy wraps her arm around Steve’s shoulder, caressing his bicep and resting her head on his shoulder. Steve has always found Nancy’s touch so comforting.

After an hour passes, a nurse taps Steve on the shoulder. Nancy has already gone home with her brother, the only people left being Joyce and Jonathan in Will’s room, and he and Max in the waiting room.

“Are you Steve Harrington? The one who brought Felix Hayes in?”

Hearing Felix’s name nearly makes him drop the cup of coffee he was drinking.

“That’s me.”

“Your... friend is out of the operating room. He’s in room 103.”

 _(_ _“Is this room 103?” the new kid asks. He’s wearing denim on denim.)_

“Oh, thank God.”

Steve downs the remainder of his coffee and throws out the cup, gently shaking Max’s shoulder to wake her up. She groans and stretches her arms out, squinting up at him.

“He’s out, Max,” Steve mumbles. Max doesn’t even say anything. She just bounces to her feet and physically pushes him out of the waiting room, making him lead the way.

In room 103, Felix is wearing a mint coloured hospital gown and resting in a bed. There are tubes and wires attached to his wrists and his nostrils and a blanket covering the bottom half of his body. A nurse is writing something down on a chalkboard by the bed, the lady giving them a glance.

“He lost a lot of blood and he’s in a coma. We don’t know how long he’ll be out for. Don’t touch his torso, he has fresh stitches in. If he wakes up, press the red button,” the nurse notifies before leaving the room.

Max and Steve walk up to Felix’s bed in unison, Max taking a seat on the left of the bed and Steve sitting on the right. Steve doesn’t know what to say or do. On the outside, Steve’s calm and collected. But on the inside, his emotions are all over the place, his skin both hot and cold at the same time. He just wants Felix to wake up.

Steve slumps back in his seat and rubs his face with his palms, wincing at the tug of the stitches in his cheek. Today has been so long that he had already forgotten about the fight he had with Billy. He remembers why Billy was there in the first place. Then, he remembers that it’s six AM and Max has parents who are probably worried sick. “I gotta take you home, Max. Your parents are going to be worried. You’ve been out since the afternoon.”

“Come on, Steve--”

“Ah, ah, ah, you promised you’d let me drive you home after you got to see Felix. You saw him. Now I have to get you home.”

“But--”

“No buts. It’s six AM. I’ll take you back here when you get some rest, you hear me?”

“Promise?” Max holds up her arm above the bed, sticking her pinky out.

Steve sighs, bringing his hand up to hers and linking their pinkies together.

“Promise. Now go get your shit so we can go.”

Max sighs loudly and walks back to the waiting room to get her bag, leaving Steve alone with Felix.

It’s hard to look at Felix in this state; his skin pale, breathing slow, and body unconscious. Steve doesn’t know when or if he’ll ever wake up. There are so many things that Steve never had the chance to say and things he never had the chance to do.

Before Max returns, Steve places a kiss on Felix’s forehead and lightly holds his hand.

“Please come back to me,” Steve whispers, jumping from his chair when Max creaks the door open.

Steve lets go of Felix’s hand and leaves the room.

///

The ride to Max’s house was composed of Max occasionally saying that Felix likes this song, (Steve already knows that) and silence. Max doesn’t let Steve park his car in front of her house or drop her off at the front door because she said that her stepdad would interrogate him on where she was, and maybe even punch him. Steve has had enough beatings today (and he thinks she’s joking), so he doesn’t bug her about it. He simply gives her a noogie and waves goodbye as he drives back home. He would’ve went right back to the hospital, but he needs to fetch a few things from home.

By the time that Steve gets home, he sees that his father’s car is parked in the driveway. He has to think of an excuse.

“Where were you, Steve? Oh mon dieu, what happened to you?” It’s his mom. When Steve walks through the front door, she runs up to him and holds his face, Steve flinching at her touch. The cuts and bruises he has all over his face are now cleaned and stitched up, but they’re still fresh.

“Huh? Oh, I got into a fight with some racist guy. He was picking on that kid Lucas.” Steve’s not lying about that part. “Then I went to the hospital ‘cus Felix got hit by a drunk driver while skateboarding.” Steve’s a terrible liar, but not bad enough because his mom actually believes him.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, mon petit. Make sure you get some rest okay? J'espère qu’il est d’accord,” she says, Steve nodding in response.

“Love you, ma.”

“Je t’aime aussi, Steven.”

Steve sees his father in his office when he passes by to get to his room, not bothering to talk to him. He’s not going to be staying here for long anyways.

Entering his room, Steve takes three things from it: a portable boombox, homework from last week, and a bag of clothes (Steve’s old sweatpants and a hoodie he was given from the basketball team at school) Felix can wear when he wakes up. He arranges a row of pillows along his bed and throws a blanket over them to give the illusion that he’s sleeping under it, in case any of his parents come in while he’s out.

Steve slinks through his bedroom window and drives back to Felix.

***

It’s now seven AM on Monday and Steve’s sitting by Felix’s hospital bed doing his homework while _Out Of Touch_ plays from the mini cassette player he brought. Steve had just come from home, but it feels like a whole new day. He’s been awake for a full twenty-four hours now, and it’s been only a good hour since Steve dropped Max off at her place. (He’s only doing his homework because he knows Felix will cuss him out for not doing it. He’s planning to skip school until Felix wakes up, because he needs to be there when he does, so he might as well catch up on work while he’s here.)

_“You’re out of touch, I’m out of time. But I’m out of my head when you’re not around.”_

Steve’s hushedly singing along to the song, unaware of how poignant the lyrics are to the ordeal he’s currently in. He’s too busy gawking at the blank math assignment he hasn’t laid a finger on.

Out of nowhere, a man appears at the doorway of the room, Steve glancing up at him and dropping the pencil in his hand.

“Hello?” Steve says, lowering the volume on the boombox.

“Oh my God,” the man says, runs up to Felix and begins to cry. The man has Felix’s nose. _It’s his dad._

Oh.

This is the first time Steve is formally meeting Felix’s dad. Felix had never really spoken about him, and he wasn’t at home whenever Steve was over. Felix had once mentioned that his father was always at work and that they’re a little “disconnected,” and Steve didn’t want him to elaborate an explanation because he knows parental relationships can be complicated; he rarely talks to his own father either. He feels extremely awkward right now because he’s sitting in a room with Felix’s unconscious body, Felix’s dad, and his face still fucked up from last night. Quite suspicious, to be frank.

“I’m so sorry, sir.”

Felix’s dad turns to Steve and stiffens up. “Can I have some time alone with him?” he states more than asks, undoing the scarf around his neck. He sounds exhausted.

“Yeah, of course, err, Mr. Hayes,” Steve says, scratching the back of his neck, turning off the cassette player, and exiting the room. The man gives him a pursed smile and nods while Steve passes by him. Strange how he didn’t question the state his face is in.

Steve stands himself by the wall opposite to Felix’s room, crossing his arms and tapping a finger on his bicep. From the corner of his eye, he sees Nancy heading in his direction. He doubletakes her presence just in case he was imagining her. He’s been awake for a day and he can’t start talking to nothing, that’d be embarrassing and people would think he’s delusional.

“Hey, Nance. What’re you doing here?”

“What are _you_ doing here, Steve? You should be at home resting. You literally got into a fight not even a day ago,” Nancy chastises, frowning at him.

“I’m fine. You know why I’m here. And I’m not leaving his side until he wakes up.” Steve ironically yawns right after saying that.

Nancy exhales through her nose and tightens her lips. “Steve, you have to take care of yourself, too, okay? If not for you, for Felix.”

Steve pokes his tongue at the inside of his cheek and huffs. “I will. Don’t worry about me. How’re you and Mike doing?”

“We’re fine--wait, why are you just standing out here?”

“Uh, Felix’s dad is in there. Wanted to get some alone time with him.”

“I’ve never seen or met his dad before. Even when I used to hang out at his place for chem studies.”

“Neither have I. He has Felix’s nose.” The second sentence he had said is a really fucking weird thing to say. Nancy just gives him a cunning look and nods.

“I’m gonna to go to Rockn’s, (the local bakery and café) do you want anything?” Nancy asks, buttoning up her coat.

“Uh, can I come with you? I’m sure he’s gonna be a while,” Steve says.

“Of course.”

///

The aroma of freshly baked pastries and goods is a relieving change from the pungent synthetic smell from the hospital. Rockn’s (its actual name is Rock ‘n’ Cinnamon Roll but everyone resorts to calling it by its appellation) has been here before Steve was even born, the bakery being one of the oldest shops in all of Hawkins. The building reeks of a vintage fifties style aura, and it’s quite endearing that they never modernized it. The walls are painted mint, the furniture is all metal, and the tiling has a gravel print all over it. Even the employees are sporting era accurate uniforms.

“Hi, can I get a danish, a bagel, a hot chocolate, and a chamomile tea, please?” Nancy pulls out her wallet, Steve completely forgetting his wallet at home.

“Shit, I’ll pay you back for this tomorrow.”

Nancy places a hand on Steve’s chest as if she’s stopping him. “No, it’s my treat, okay? Don’t argue with me.” Steve sighs at that and takes a seat at one of the tables, resting his arms on the tabletop and concealing his face in his arms. He closes his eyes for the time being.

Nancy returns with a paper bag and their drinks, the sound of rustling paper and the chair scraping the floor waking--more so surprising--Steve up.

“Did you fall asleep?”

“No,” Steve says groggily, rubbing his palm against his eye.

“You should go home and get some sleep after this.”

“I’m going back to the hospital to finish my math work and stay with Felix.”

“But his dad’s there.”

“So? It’s not like he hates me. I’m sure he’ll let his son’s best friend stay.”

“Hm.” Nancy sips on her tea and sighs, looking up at Steve with a worried expression. “Do you think Felix would be happy with how you’re taking care of yourself?”

“No--but that’s besides the point. I wanna be there for him,” Steve responds with a mouth full of danish.

“Are you okay, Steve?”

Steve gulps and tilts his head to the side, wiping his mouth. “What do you mean?”

“Are you okay? Mentally? Emotionally?”

Steve exhales from his nose and tsks. “Well, no, thank you for asking. My Felix kinda almost died and I had to see it happen.” His tone is sardonic and his eyes are glossy and wide. (Steve doesn’t even realize that he addressed Felix as _my_ Felix. He really needs to get some sleep.)

“Steve…” Nancy sighs and places a hand on Steve’s arm, giving him an empathetic look. “I know how much he means to you… just keep your head up, okay? He’s going to be alright.”

“Sure. He’s gonna wake up with permanent scars down his chest and mental scars in his head from the entire fucking experience. God, I just wish he wasn’t dragged into this whole thing.”

“There’s no going back, Steve. Just be there for him when he does wake up.”

Steve taps his pointer finger against the table and drinks the rest of his hot chocolate, getting up from his seat and walking over to the cooler. He scans through the rows of bottles and grabs a cream soda, the bottle cap is sky blue and has white polka dots all over it with the label “National Cream Soda,” then pays for it.

_(“I’ve been meaning to ask, why do you collect bottle caps, Jukeboy?” “My grandpops told me this metaphor about my parents’ uh… relationship… using bottle caps when I was a kid and it stuck with me. Bottle caps remind me of him, so I like to collect ‘em to keep a little bit of him around.”)_

He returns to sit with Nancy and downs the cream soda in about ten seconds, coughs, and stuffs the bottle cap into his pocket. Now, Felix has something to wake up to.

***

For the next four days, Steve’s routine pretty much repeats itself: he stays at the hospital overnight, doesn’t sleep, leaves in the morning for a while to avoid awkward conversations with Felix’s father, picks Max up from school, brings her to the hospital for visitation, drops her off at home, and the cycle replicates from there. Sometimes, if he’s feeling crazy, he does a little bit of homework. Felix’s father, Andrew Hayes, does eventually inquire Steve about his son, their relationship, and the fucked up state Steve’s face was in. Steve had said that Max called him to pick Felix up after he got hit by a car, said that they’re best friends, and said that he got into a fight before he got Max’s call. He wasn’t _fully_ lying, and Steve’s answers were convincing enough that Andrew didn’t reiterate his questions. He (and Max, who wanted in) had continued to accumulate bottle caps for Felix’s collection, and they have around six right now. He would tell Felix (well, his unconscious body) about his day, how he misses him, and the dumb shit that the kids pull just to flood out the silence whenever Max isn’t there with him. He also has a daily breakdown over the possibility of Felix not waking up, but other than that, the sleep deprivation, and anxiety, Steve’s doing great.

***

The dark circles caving under Steve’s eyes have been building up for the past five days. He’s getting wearier by the minute and caffeine can’t keep him awake forever.

Andrew Hayes is at work, after taking three days off to stay with his son, Steve and Max watching over Felix for him. It’s six PM on a Friday in early November and Max has passed out on one of the chairs in Felix’s hospital room, Steve stuck alone with sorrow.

Steve’s thoughtlessly watching a rerun of Saturday Night Live while listening to that piña colada song on his boombox, his fingers intertwined with Felix’s under the blanket. Steve’s developed the habit of subconsciously holding Felix’s hand while he’s visiting because he can’t exactly hug him the entire time.

Steve has never been this worn out in his entire life. He’s had his off days once or twice a week, but never for five consecutive days. These past five days have been the worst fucking days of the eighteen years he’s been alive, and it’ll only ever get better after Felix has woken up. He hasn’t felt a drop of motivation to do anything at all, hence his lack of sleep and the fact that he hasn’t taken a shower in days. Even after Felix wakes up he can’t imagine how tough it’ll be for Felix to convalesce after such a traumatic experience. But on his side, as long as Felix is with him alive, Steve will be fine.

He’s never experienced a loss like this before. Yeah, he’s been to his grandmother’s funeral, though never really _met_ her until he was, quite literally, met with her lifeless corpse tucked eloquently in a wooden casket. (He remembers her hair being perfectly coiffed, and the blinding colour of her bright vermillion dress.) The entire service, he honestly just wanted to go home. It’s not that Steve didn’t have any emotional attachment to her, he did cry when his mother did, he just didn’t know her well enough. If something like this were to ever happen to Nancy, he’d probably go apeshit because he _actually_ knows her well enough. And now that this has happened to Felix, he’s already gone apeshit.

The music is so drowning and Steve’s so tired that he doesn’t feel the light squeeze around his fingers--the fingers that’re holding Felix’s hand.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”

Steve’s head might as well have fallen off because he sits up in his chair so rapidly that he’s given himself whiplash. Felix is awake.

He has to take a second look at Felix to make sure he isn’t hallucinating. “Holy fucking shit.” Steve runs a hand through his hair and his eyes begin to water and his mouth is wide and smiling and he can’t process anything right now. _Felix is awake._

“Are you okay? How do you feel--Max! He’s awake! God, you don’t fucking know how much I’ve missed you,” Steve rambles, the grip around Felix’s hand tightening.

“Max?” Felix turns to look at her slowly waking up from her slumber, “Oh geez, is she okay? Are you okay? Is my dad okay? Have you seen him--”

“Stop worrying about us, you selfless shithead, I’m gonna go get the nurses, okay? Don’t move too much, you’ll pull your stitches.”

“Stitches…”

Steve lets go of Felix’s hand and presses the button that calls up the nurses, shaking Max’s arm.

“Felix? Felix!” Max falls out of her chair and lunges forwards to hug Felix but Steve catches her before she gets to do that.

“Hey, he just woke up and he’s got stitches in, don’t go all caveman on him, alright? The nurses are coming to check on him so we gotta head out for a bit.”

“Ugh, fine. Don’t miss me too much, Lex!” Max says.

Felix grins. “I’ll definitely try, Red.”

Steve has to carry Max into the waiting room because of how impatient she is. (He is, too, but no one needs to know.) He can’t stop smiling and neither can she, the both of them more ecstatic than ever.

“I missed him so much, thank God he’s awake,” Max says, slumping back into one of the chairs in the waiting room.

“Ditto.”

“I love him a lot, not like you love him but I still love him.”

_What the HELL does she mean?_

“Wha--huh? What do you mean not like you love him?”

Max snorts. “You hold his hand and kiss his forehead sometimes. You’re like his boyfriend or something. Got over Nancy quick, didn’tcha?”

“Okay, first of all, I don’t hold his hand and you did not see me kissing his forehead because I didn’t, and I’m definitely not his boyfriend because I’m not gay and I don’t think I’ll ever get over Nancy, dipshit.” Steve’s cheeks are flushed but he can’t tell whether it’s from him getting mad at her statement or being embarrassed at it.

“Oooookay. Also, since Felix is awake now, can you take a shower and go to sleep? You kinda smell and look like shit.”

“A--”

Max smirks and Steve grumpily crosses his arms and sinks into his seat.

The nurses notify Steve and Max that Felix is ready to be visited again after thirty long minutes. During the wait, Steve manages to phone Andrew and apprise him that his son is awake. It went straight to voicemail, probably because he’s at work, but Steve hopes he can visit his son tonight.

The hospital bed is tilted upwards so that Felix is slightly sitting, Felix eating up some packaged food. Both Max and Steve sit by Felix’s left, Max crossing her legs in the chair.

“Hi, Jukeboy,” Steve says shyly, grinning down at him.

“Hi, Captain Ice Cream,” Felix responds, sipping on his apple juice.

Max laughs at that. “Shut up--do you remember anything that happened?” Steve says.

Felix puts down the carton of juice. “Yeah… but I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“That’s okay, I understand.”

“You were passed out for four days, your dad and Steve and I were worried sick, Lex. Don’t ever do that again, okay? I’m going to punch every demodog in the face for you,” Max pitches in, folding her arms over her chest.

Felix chuckles. God, it’s good to hear his laugh again. “Thanks, Max. I don’t plan on it unless I gotta save one of your asses again.”

“Nuh uh, you’re not doing that again. Period.” Steve bats his finger at Felix.

“Okay, Steve. How is everyone? Are the kids okay? Are _you_ okay?”

“Yeah, all the kids are okay, okay? Don’t worry about us. Are the stitches okay?”

“The stitches are okay. They hurt a little but they’re beginning to scar over which is a good sign. The nurses said it’ll completely scar over in two weeks at the least. Thought it’d be longer but thank God it isn’t. They said I could get outta here by Sunday.”

“You’ll have some gnarly scars, you’ll look like a sick superhero. It’ll match your hero status,” Max says, smiling.

“I guess,” Felix replies, his tone a little sad. Steve gets it, it’s a permanent reminder of what happened in the tunnels. The worst scar that Steve’s ever gotten was a burn scar on his elbow from a waffle maker when he was fourteen, and that’s incomparable to Felix’s four gashes.

The trio speak each others’ ears off for the next two hours, Max updating Felix about school and Steve going on about what he’s missed (it’s really not that much, Steve just wants to talk to Felix). Felix scolds Steve for not sleeping _(“Have you been sleeping, Stevie?” “He hasn’t--” “Shut up, Max!” “Oh my God, Steve, I’m literally going to knock you out myself. Please sleep, okay?”)_ and for not going to school _(“Wait… you said you haven’t left my side, so do you mean you skipped school?” “Well--” “Steve Harrington I swear on my goddamn life that I’m going to kick your ass for skipping school! I tutor you and you skip school--”)_ , Max laughing at their arguments and saying that they sound like an old married couple. At eight PM, Steve has to bring Max home.

“Steve, you better go straight home after dropping her off to get some sleep, you hear me?” Felix tuts.

Steve raises his arms up as if he’s been caught by the police. “Okay, okay! But only for you.”

“Good, now scram, Captain Ice Cream.”

Steve rolls his eyes and catches up with Max, teasingly tugging on the loop of her backpack and receiving a punch in the arm from her for that. The two of them have a carpool karaoke in the car (They sing along to _Johnny B. Goode_ ) and Max gives Steve a fist bump before she leaves his car and skips home.

When Steve gets home, he collapses into bed and instantly passes out. His nerves have finally calmed down and his anxieties aren’t keeping him up anymore. Felix is awake and Steve can fucking relax.

***

Steve doesn’t visit Felix the next day until five PM in the evening because he’s been asleep all day. He hasn’t slept in days so he makes up for it by sleeping in for nearly twenty hours straight. That’s probably terrible for his health, but he can’t take it back.

Before leaving, he takes a long, warm shower because it’s what he deserves after being on edge for the past week. And he also needs to keep good hygiene.

When he arrives at the hospital and sees Felix dressed in his old hoodie and sweatpants, he has to abstain from staring. Something about Felix in his clothes makes Steve a little dizzy.

“Glad they fit you,” Steve says, Felix jerking in his bed and hiding the journal he was writing in under his blanket.

“Don’t scare me like that! And yeah, they do. This your old basketball hoodie?”

Steve takes a seat by his bed and slips a new (well it’s old, he just hasn’t played this one yet) mixtape into the cassette player. “Yup, from freshman year.”

“It’s comfy. A little big, but comfy.”

“You can keep it. You look cute in it anyway.” Steve’s eyes widen at his own words and he’s about to cover it up but then--

“Bet you look nicer in it.”

_Jesus Christ, did Steve unknowingly flirt with him? And did Felix just flirt back?_

“I mean, it used to be mine,” Steve replies, “What were you writing before I got here?”

Felix smacks his lips and scratches at the back of his neck. “Uh... homework? Max came here earlier cus I asked her to stop by my classes after school to fetch me some assignments I need to catch up on.”

“Wow, such a good student,” Steve teases, grinning. He doesn’t exactly believe Felix because of the uncertainty in his voice, but he lets it slide. “Sorry I was late today, I slept in.”

“Good. I see you’ve finally washed your hair. I think I might’ve gotten sick just looking at it.”

“Shut up, oh my God. You’re so mean to me.”

“Am not! I’m just telling you the truth. Friends don’t lie.”

“You’re so annoying.”

“And yet you’re still here.”

Steve flips him off and pulls out his science homework, tapping his pen against the table. “You busy or can you help me out with this?”

“What do you think?” Felix points to the hospital bed and holds his empty hands out.

“Okay, smartass. How the hell do I do chemical formulas?”

Steve and Felix work on Steve’s missing chemistry assignments for the next few hours, Steve stopping by the food court to get them both dinner at around eight PM. Felix had told him that his father and Max visited earlier during the day and that he thanks Steve for coming around because he doesn’t like being alone in the hospital. Max had to go home because her mother needed help with something and Andrew had to part for work, leaving Felix to Steve’s company. It’s nice to be talking to Felix once again, but Steve knows it’ll be different from before since they both went through a near death experience together, and that leaves a lasting impression on someone. Steve wishes he could rewind back into the summer again.

“You sure you’re gonna be okay tonight?” Steve asks, donning his jacket. It’s nine PM now and Steve’s about to head home after Felix insisted he get more sleep.

“Yes, Stevie. I get you’re worried about me and that’s really sweet but you gotta take care of yourself for me, okay? You recently got beat up by that hillbilly and you haven’t slept in days. Take a breather. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Fine. Do you need me to drive you to school on Monday?”

“Yeah, tomorrow they’re gonna do final checkups and I’m pretty sure I’m getting out. Don’t bother to visit ‘cus I’m probably not gonna be in here for most of the day. I’ll call you when I get home.”

“Aww, I might miss my little Jukeboy too much.”

Felix’s cheeks go red. “Can it, Captain Ice Cream. Go home and watch Star Wars. You said I’m like Luke so I’ll kinda be with you if you watch it.”

“Hm. Good idea. See you on Monday, Jukeboy. I hope the doctor shit goes well.” Steve’s about to leave, but then he remembers something. “Wait! Before I go, Max and I have a little present for you.” He fishes through his backpack and pulls out the paper bag holding the bottle caps he and Max had collected.

“Wanted you to have something to wake up to.” Steve hands the bag to Felix.

Felix grins and inspects the bottle caps. “Thank you so much, Steve. And Max in spirit. I love these. They’ll fit right in with the others. Now, go home before I kick you out myself.”

When Steve gets home, he does end up watching Star Wars. His mom is in the kitchen and his father is swamping himself with office work just to avoid his family, Steve chilling on the couch in the living room with a bag of popcorn in one hand and a can of Coca Cola in the other. _A New Hope_ is playing on the TV and Steve can’t stop thinking about what Felix said earlier. Felix does remind Steve of Luke, but it’s a little weird that Steve thinks Luke Skywalker is _really_ cute. If he’s going by his own logic, finding Luke cute means that he finds Felix cute. Boys aren’t supposed to find other boys cute. But, he also thinks that Leia Organa is cute, so that _basically_ cancels out his dumb crush on Luke Skywalker. Steve thinks that both boys and girls are cute and it’s abnormally puzzling for him. This is like _Karate Kid_ all over again.

***

Steve visits Nancy the next day because he really needs to vocalize his feelings about boys and girls and he needs a trusted person’s opinion, and Nancy is someone he can trust with his life.

“What’re you so frantic about?” Nancy’s leaned against the headboard of her bed, her hands rested atop a pillow while she paints her nails. Steve’s sitting cross legged across from her, nervously twiddling his thumbs.

“So yesterday I was watching,” he pauses, “Star Wars,” he whispers, not wanting Mike to hear and possibly expose him of watching nerdy films, “And y’know, I was looking at how pretty princess Leia was.”

Nancy looks up at him and raises a brow. “I am aware.”

“Yeah… but I was also looking at how pretty Luke was.”

Nancy sighs and screws the nail polish shut, setting the tiny bottle onto her bedside drawer. “That’s okay. That’s totally normal, Steve, don’t make it a big deal, okay?”

Steve purses his lips and nods, remaining silent. He’s definitely relieved that Nancy didn’t lash out at him with an ill manner. Being a guy who likes guys or a girl who likes girls in this day and age isn’t well received, but he knows that Nancy is one of the sweetest people he’s ever met, so her reaction isn’t exactly surprising. He knew he could trust her with this.

“I mean, I know you and Felix have had something going on for a little bit, but I didn’t want to comment on it--”

“What?” Steve’s a bit taken back by that. “Felix and I aren’t doing anything and we haven’t had anything going on between us--because for the longest time I’ve loved you and I really thought you were my it girl, okay? I still love you a lot, Nance. Even if it’s not in a boyfriend girlfriend way.”

Nancy is _kind of_ right about the Felix thing. He might’ve had unspoken feelings for Felix all this time, but when he was with Nancy, Nancy always came first. Steve would have _never_ thought of cheating on his partner, especially a partner like Nancy once was.

“Steve, I…” Nancy glances up at him with the most sincere expression. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry I broke your heart… It’s just… you’re a really amazing person and I’ll always think that, okay? I love you a lot, too.”

“Like I said, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything. I just. I just don’t know what I’m going through right now. It’s a lot. I lost my girlfriend and my best friend in the same day. It’s already been a week, but that shit sucked. And now I don’t fucking know if I’m gay or straight or both and it’s just really goddamn weird for me because all my life I’ve been on top of things and I’m really not used to this. I don’t care if you’re dating Jonathan now or whatever, I just need someone to talk to. I need Nancy Wheeler.”

Before he knows it, Nancy has her arms wrapped around Steve, the smaller girl embracing him tightly. “I don’t know what I can say to help, but just know that whoever you are, whoever you like, and whoever you’ll become, I’ll always love you, Steve. I’m going to be here for you always. Even if we aren’t dating anymore, that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

Steve hugs her back, snuggling his head into her shoulder. “Thank you, Nance. I love you, too.”

And he really does mean it. Steve Harrington loves Nancy Wheeler, even if they can only be friends.

***

On Monday, Steve does get to drive Felix to school. And he does for the following week, as if he hasn’t been doing that for the past nine months they’ve been friends for. The two of them evade any questions from peers about the power outage and supernatural occurrences that eventuated a week and a half ago, the boys just trying to get to their classes and not get put in jail for spilling confidential government information. Felix’s wounds are healing quite rapidly, though he still has to take it slow and avoid any sort of heavy physical activities, including skateboarding. He whines on and on to Steve about how he can’t even skateboard, and Steve finds it really amusing. Even after a whole traumatic experience, Felix doesn’t talk much about it.

***

 _Space Oddity_ is resonating from the boombox in Steve’s room, he and Felix making another mixtape. Steve had listened to every single one of Felix’s mixtapes at least five times, and he’d been bugging Felix the whole week to fabricate a new playlist. Felix was busy every day because he had homework to catch up on (so did Steve, but he chose not to) and he had daily check ups at the hospital. It’s now Saturday and Felix is finally free for the day.

“Hey, Steve,” Felix says, rummaging through his bin of cassettes.

Steve puts down Felix’s guitar that he was toying with. “Yeah?”

“You don’t have to answer… but uh… what _really_ happened to Nancy’s friend Barb?”

Steve’s chest drops. The question is a bit arbitrary, but with the shit Felix is dealing with, it’s quite a rational thing to ask. Nancy and Jonathan and that weird homeless theorist guy have already exposed a white lie about Barb’s death and Hawkins lab, but to someone who was directly involved in the Upside Down ordeal, it seems a little watered down.

“Okay… So you already know about the watered down version of it. Chemicals, whatever,” Steve begins, “Last year, I held a party with my dumbfuck ex-friends Tommy and Carol and invited Nancy and Barb. It was dumb teenager shit, y’know. We had fun, but Barb didn’t. It wasn’t really her scene, so I kinda just brushed it off because Nancy kept saying she was okay. Barb ended up slitting her hand after trying to cut a can of beer open. And you know, blood attracts those flower faced freaks from the Upside Down. To cut it short, she was waiting for Nancy by my pool and the Demogorgon… it got her.”

Steve despises talking about that event, and he can’t even swim in his pool anymore after unveiling the truth about Barb’s death. Every time he passes by his back door and gets a peek of the pool, he’s reminded of Barb.

Felix doesn’t say anything regarding the story, he just sits himself down on Steve’s bed. “Do you… do you think what happened to her happened to Stella?” Felix’s voice is shaky, but firm.

“I… I’m sorry…” Steve says, placing a comforting hand on Felix’s knee. He doesn’t want to say anything else.

“You know how I went to that fortune teller back in Cali?”

Steve furrows his brows. He does recall. “Yeah...?”

Felix takes a breath. “The fortune teller lady told me that my loved ones and I would get put into danger sometime in the near future. Thought it was all bogus until…”

“Felix…”

“Yeah. That’s why I was freaking out. I couldn’t risk it. Especially with you and Max down there.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry--God, I’m so stupid. I should’ve listened to you.”

“It’s okay, Steve. What’s done is done. I just… when I was down there in the tunnels I think I would’ve been fine with dying. You and Max and the kids made it out, so that’s all that mattered to me. And I’ve already convinced myself that Stella’s gone and she’s never coming back. If I did… y’know… I might’ve gotten to see her again.” Felix brings his legs up to his chest and rests his chin on top of his knees, staring at his socks. “But _if_ I did, I would never get to see _you_ again.”

Steve’s speechless. He feels like sobbing, sobbing over Felix, sobbing over his ineffable emotions. He takes a deep breath and crosses his arms. “I couldn’t stop crying when I saw you down there. Thought I’d lost you. But when you said my name, said it even though you were fucking bleeding out, I had a bit of hope left. I realized down there that I…” Steve hesitates to admit this. “I realized that I could never lose you, Felix.”

Felix glances up at Steve with a look in his eye that Steve can’t decipher. “Don’t think I could lose you either, Steve. Yeah… I know I can’t lose you.”

Steve is about to say something, but the cassette player clicks and ejects the David Bowie tape. “Oh, we should get back to that,” Felix says.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re okay?”

“I’m okay. And so are you. We’re okay.”


	6. my gift is my song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GAY PEOPLE! *airhorns and cheers*

Felix likes to write songs. Steve had first found out about his songwriting hobby a couple weeks into the first day of school. He stumbled upon Felix’s journal of ditties while searching for one of Felix’s math textbooks, Steve asking him about it and Felix getting all flushed and defensive when he waved the book up at him. Steve had briefly taunted him for it, but laid off once Felix asked him to. Steve has never asked about it since, because Felix’s tune journal was like a diary to him, and diaries are meant to be secret.

“Steve! Can you grab my pencil? It fell under my bed,” Felix asks, turning in the rolling chair he was sitting in. It’s one of Steve’s tutor days, and the café was closed today so they’re at Felix’s place doing homework.

Steve dangles his upper half off of Felix’s bed, reaching his arm under it to retrieve Felix’s pencil. He feels his hand around the expanse of the floor, his fingers grazing what felt like a scrunched up piece of paper along with the wooden pencil itself. He grabs both objects and pushes himself back onto the bed, slinging the pencil at Felix and flattening out the sheet of paper.

Felix catches the pencil, but his attention goes to the paper in Steve’s hand. “What is that? What are you looking at--”

“Oh, this?” Steve shakes the paper.

“Give that back--”

“Come and get it!”

Steve hurls himself off the bed as Felix lurches towards him, running to the bathroom. Felix chases after Steve, Felix’s urgency feeding into Steve’s nosiness and desire to find out what’s on this sheet of paper. Steve successfully locks himself in the bathroom, leans his back against the door and begins to read. (Felix is still banging on the door, but he decides to ignore it.)

At the top of the sheet, the letters S and H are messily written down. _(S for Steve and H for Harrington?)_ Below it are mostly scrawled out sentences that Steve can’t make out. But there are still legible phrases jotted down across the paper.

_“You’re sweet like candy, honey; I think I have a sweet tooth now.”_

_“He’s music to my ears, you’re the jukebox now.”_

These supposed lyrics are making Steve’s heart do flips in his chest and his stomach swarm in butterflies. If Felix wrote these for Steve, and only if, Steve thinks he could die peacefully right about now. He feels like a schoolgirl with a crush on a musically inclined boy--well, he basically is--and his brain is making him think all these scenarios. But all Felix wrote was S. H. and he can’t vindicate a solid conclusion from that. There’s _no_ way that Felix wrote a love song--part of a love song--for _him_.

Crumpling up the paper back to its original state, he unlocks the door and meets with Felix sitting on the floor beside the bathroom. Felix jolts upwards and Steve hands him back the paper before he can say anything.

“Couldn’t read your chicken scratch. You win this time, Jukeboy,” Steve lies, shrugging.

Felix mutters “thank God,” under his breath.

“Aaaaanyways,” Steve says, stretching out his arms and yawning, “Wanna go get dinner?”

Felix stuffs the paper into the pocket of his jeans and scoffs. “Fine. But only because I’m starving. If I wasn’t, I would’ve never spoken to you again.”

“What! I couldn’t even read what was on that!”

“Good! You weren’t supposed to!”

“Okay, I’m sorry. Can we go eat now?”

“You’re paying.”

///

They have dinner at the local diner, and it’s nothing like Norms in California. There isn’t any pizzazz or distinct features about the building, just bland decor and typical fast food items. The dullness would have bothered Steve way more if Felix wasn’t here with him. Whenever he’s with Felix, everything just gets a little brighter.

“Can we get two burger combos? A coke for him and a vanilla milkshake for me,” Felix says, pointing out the orders on the menu.

“Of course, dears. So sweet that two brothers are hanging out,” the waitress responds, writing down their order.

_(“You saying I’m like your brother?” Steve feels weird about that statement.)_

“We’re not brothers, ma’am. We’re definitely not brothers,” Steve says, his palms clamming up. Felix just glimpses at him.

“Oh, I apologize. You two best friends, then?” She’s smiling passive aggressively.

“Yeah, yeah. You can say that,” Felix pitches in, giving her a pursed smile before she walks away and heads into the kitchen. Steve doesn’t catch that last part.

“Brothers?” Steve snorts quietly, leaning in so that Felix can hear him better. “We don’t even look alike.”

“I know, right? That’s so weird.”

“Uh huh.”

When the waitress returns with their orders, they eat and talk about anything and everything. Felix updates him about his scars and how they’re healing really well, Steve rants about his stuck up science teacher, and Felix goes on about how much he misses California. (“We just went during the summer,” “Yeah, but I still miss it.”) Steve also tells Felix about his babysitting adventures (he had babysat all five kids on Wednesday after they had planned a D&D session at Steve’s house without telling him) and Felix finds it really cute and endearing that he’s gotten fond of the little rugrats. (Steve might have to babysit them more often.)

“Are you and Nancy okay?” Felix questions out of nowhere, popping a fry into his mouth.

“Huh? Yeah, we are. We’re friends. I still love her a lot. As a friend, though.” Steve subtly narrows his eyes at Felix, taking a sip from his soda. Felix is either concerned about his friend’s relationship and their mental health, or he’s asking if Steve is single. He hopes it’s both because then Felix really is a good friend, and also, _he’s asking if Steve is single_.

“Besides,” Steve can’t be any more obvious about this, “I think I’ve got my eyes on someone else.”

***

Felix has been avoiding Steve the entire day. It’s not that Felix wasn’t at school this morning (Steve would’ve understood if he were at home), he has just been completely ignoring him for some reason. Every time Steve would try and speak to him, he’d act as if he didn’t hear him or straight up just disappear into the halls. He starts to think that the flirting he’s been subtly (relentlessly) doing ever since Felix woke up is starting to make him uncomfortable. Steve kind of wants to melt into the ground because of that thought. This makes Steve grumpy and snappy the entire day, until Felix comes up to him when the bell peals and school ends for the day.

“Can we scrap the tutoring lesson for today?”

“Okay, now you talk to me.” Steve shuts his locker and slugs his bag over his shoulder.

“I’m not canceling on you, I just have other plans. I wanted to show you something. Swing by at six, okay? You better be there.”

“What? Okay, okay. I’ll be there, but you better explain why you haven’t talked to me for the whole goddamn day.”

“No reason. I’ll see you.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

When Steve goes home, he can’t stop thinking about six PM tonight and what Felix has in store for him. It must be _very_ important because Felix has never once canceled a tutoring session (other than when he was in the hospital, but even then he still volunteered to help Steve with his homework) unless he or Steve was sick, and that rarely happened.

His eyes are locked on the alarm clock, jumbled up speculations on Felix’s cancellation reasoning floating around in his brain. Perhaps Felix wanted to discuss something with Steve about school. Maybe he’s going to tell Steve one of his deepest darkest secrets. He might just want to watch a movie with him. What if he wants to talk to him about ending their friendship? What if he just wants to tell Steve that he’s the worst person alive? What if--

Before Steve’s head explodes, he turns on the TV and forces himself to watch a movie to pass the time. But time seems to move so fucking slowly.

He spends a good half hour browsing through channels until he settles on the food network. He watches a couple of replayed episodes of random cooking and baking shows that he doesn’t know the names of, then switches channels, watches half of _Saturday Night Fever_ , and ten minutes of _The Gumby Show_ until the clock strikes five fifty PM.

Steve shuts the TV off and puts on his coat (one his parents got him for his birthday), practically teleporting to his car because of how nervous and curious he is.

As Steve arrives and Felix opens the front door, Felix still doesn’t say a word. Steve can tell there’s something wrong, because that boy never shuts up unless something is troubling him.

Felix leads them up to his bedroom, each dragging step Steve takes on the staircase filling him more and more with anticipation. And more and more anxiety.

Steve notices a mountain of crumpled balls of paper overflowing from the garbage can in Felix’s room, not bothering to ask him about it because he’s so fizzed up on what Felix needs to say. He takes a seat on Felix’s desk chair, playing with the hem of his shirt.

“Sorry I wasn’t talking to you all day I uh…” Felix starts, takes a breath, and plugs his electric guitar into the amplifier. “I wrote you a song.”

Oh, okay. Steve thinks he’s going to die.

Felix fiddles with the speaker and sits himself on his bed beside Steve, his back leaned up against the headboard and his guitar in his lap. Felix takes one look at Steve before closing his eyes and beginning to perform his song.

_“Tough start, but diamonds are only found in the rough._

_You’re like candy, honey; I think I have a sweet tooth now._

_He’s music to my ears; you’re the jukebox now._

_No number of mixes will tape my love, darling._

_I owe you._

_I feel like I’m burning, and you’re the one who struck the match._

_You’re aching for nothing and everything;_

_Let me be that void, dear._

_I hear voices, but they’re only whispers._

_Voices of something unspoken yet true._

_No number of mixes will tape my love, darling._

_I owe you._

_I couldn’t come to the view, so you brought it back to me;_

_The city’s in your eyes._

_Heights are gone when I’m with you, not a drop of fear in me._

_You’re the moon in a desert, the sun after an avalanche._

_You make me feel alive, baby._

_We both know what’s here is true._

_I owe you, I owe you.”_

Steve’s thought process goes through three stages before, during, and after Felix performs the song he wrote for him:

The first stage is the realization that holy shit, Felix wrote an _entire_ song with Steve in his head while creating the lyrics and production. The realization that Felix might care about Steve a little more than he does with a friend. The realization that maybe, just maybe, Felix feels the same way as he does. Because hell, he wrote a fucking song about Steve for Steve. When Felix first asked him to hang out, he had assumed many different things--as stated during his little brooding session at home--but none of them were this. The instant that Felix announced that hey, I wrote you a song, Steve’s heart grew three sizes bigger.

The second stage is Steve listening intently to the lyrics and never taking his eyes off of Felix’s ethereal face and noting that _this is a fucking love song._ He has every inch of Felix’s face memorized like the back of his hand by now and it doesn’t help the fact that this beautiful fucking boy is singing and playing the guitar oh so effervescently about _him_ . He can tell that this song was crafted so precisely and delicately, and thinking about Felix putting all this effort into a song for him makes his stomach knot up. And not to mention, Steve recognizes the lyrics from the crumpled up paper he had found in Felix’s room a week prior to today. His overthinking was actually right, for once. (Because who the fuck writes _“You’re sweet like candy, honey; I think I have a sweet tooth now,”_ about a friend?)

The third and final stage is Steve _finally_ registering that Felix likes him the same way he likes him and that he really, really wants to kiss him right now. This whole time, Steve had thought that his infatuation for Felix was unrequited, but even an idiot like him can now tell that it really fucking isn’t and Felix does indeed like him back. It’s been around three weeks since he and Nancy had broken up, and it’s a bit strange for him to be moving on this quickly. Nancy had previously stated that she had a feeling he was falling for Felix even before they had broken up, just like how she had been with Jonathan. The difference is that Steve still genuinely does love Nancy and would’ve undoubtedly married her if she felt the same way about him. But Steve can’t change Nancy’s feelings. And he can’t even think about her because the only thing occupying his mind is _Felix, Felix, Felix_ and _I want to kiss him so badly_.

Normally, being the cocky bitch Steve is, he would say something along the lines of “I could kiss you right now,” in situations like this. Situations where Steve is in cloud nine and all his feels is love for the person right in front of him. Instead of saying that cheesy one liner, he just does it.

When the final chords of Felix’s love song ring throughout Felix’s bedroom and Felix opens his mouth to ask for Steve’s opinion on his perfect fucking song, Steve brings both of his hands up to Felix’s face and pulls the other boy towards himself, locking their lips together and clenching his eyes shut. _Steve is kissing Felix._

Felix’s lips are slightly chapped from the cold weather that’s currently blanketing Hawkins but they still manage to be so soft and warm and they feel so good against his. Steve’s lips move slowly and tenderly and he’s being so gentle with him because he really can’t feel anything but love and affection at the moment. Steve’s thumbs brush over Felix’s cheekbones and Felix moves the guitar that’s trapped in between them to the empty side of his bed, pulling them impossibly closer. Steve can feel Felix’s hands trail up to his head, his fingers entangling in his hair and tugging at it desperately. In response to Felix’s gesture, Steve slips off the rolling chair he was sat on and climbs onto the bed, kneeling in between Felix’s legs. _Steve is kissing Felix and Felix is kissing him back._

Steve once thought that kissing a boy would be teeth clacking and rough, lustful lip locking that felt sinful and guilty. But it’s the total opposite. Kissing a boy, _especially Felix_ , felt so fucking natural and good to Steve. It didn’t make a difference to Steve whether he was kissing a boy or a girl; as long as he was kissing a person he loved, it felt perfect.

He brings one of his hands down to the nape of Felix’s neck, tilting his head downwards and swiping at the bottom of Felix’s lip with his tongue. Steve can _feel_ Felix’s lips tweaking upwards into a smile, so he does the same. Felix lets go of his hair and grabs at Steve’s shirt and Steve’s mind goes nuts. He’s in a state of euphoria and he’s intoxicated by Felix’s touch and taste and his song and everything about him.

Steve drops his hands down to Felix’s waist and holds him like there’s no tomorrow, Felix wrapping his arms around his neck. Steve has never kissed anyone like this before. He hasn’t kissed a single person with so much passion and warmth, and he’s so fucking glad that he gets to share this with Felix.

Unfortunately, he can’t kiss Felix forever because they’re still established as friends, and there’s still a _minor_ possibility of Steve reading this whole thing wrong. (Even though his brain is screaming “He kissed you back, Steve, stop being a fucking dumbass,” at him.) Steve finally pulls away from Felix after what felt like an eternity--they could’ve been kissing for ten seconds and it still would have been the best the best ten seconds of his life--and blinks his eyes open to Felix’s flushed face. Felix’s pupils are dilated and his eyes are half lidded and his hair is mussed up and his lips are bitten red and it’s all because of Steve.

Steve sheepishly pulls his hands away from Felix’s waist and fakes a cough, sliding off of Felix’s bed. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans and glances at the clock as if he’s checking the time.

“It’s getting a bit late, I should uh… go,” Steve says, biting down on his bottom lip to refrain from smiling.

“Oh,” Felix replies, flattening out the wrinkles on his shirt.

“I really, _really_ loved your song, so thank you for that. Um, I’ll see you on Monday, okay?”

“Yeah. Drive home safe.”

“Will do, Jukeboy.”

Steve grabs his backpack and does a quick check of Felix’s room to make sure that he didn’t leave anything behind before heading back to his car. Steve ends up bringing everything with him, except for one thing. Steve can sometimes be a forgetful person, but this time, the thing he left in Felix’s bedroom was purposeful; Steve left his heart in Felix’s hands and he doesn’t plan on taking it back.

***

Nancy thinks that Steve is an absolute disaster. (She’s right.)

Steve had just come from Felix’s house--where he fucking kissed him--and is now pacing around Nancy’s bedroom. He just keeps sputtering nonsensical questions and phrases without giving any context to Nancy whatsoever.

“Steve.”

“I can’t believe he fucking did that. Well, I did it first and then he did it back but he still fucking did it! I’m going to lose my damn mind!”

“Steve!”

“Yeah?”

Nancy grabs Steve’s arm and sits him down on her bed, holding his shoulders. “What happened. I literally do not know what you’re going on about.”

“Oh.” Steve raises his eyebrows and folds his hands in his lap. “Felix wrote me a _love_ song. And then I kissed him. And then he kissed me back. And then we kinda made out. Not kinda, we definitely fucking did, holy shit.”

Nancy’s eyes go wide, she nods, then smiles. “Very cool, Steve. You finally got to kiss your boy. But what are you gonna do about it now? I’m assuming you just left.”

Okay, now Steve’s actually using his brain. He kisses the boy he likes, then bolts without a word. He can’t imagine what he’s made Felix think. Most likely the same thoughts Steve had about their relationship teetering from friendship to romance. And probably him thinking that Steve just thinks of him as a fling or an experiment. He wholeheartedly does _not_ think of Felix like that. (Steve can say he’s head over heels for him, and that’s only at the least.)

“Shit, I didn’t think about that. Oh no, Nancy, he might think I just think of him as some fling, and he fucking isn’t. Jesus Christ. Okay.”

“Calm down, you’re gonna be okay, yeah? Just do something for him that’ll tell him you like him like a boyfriend.”

Steve’s ears perk up at the mention of a boyfriend. “Okay. Okay. Okay. Are you telling me to ask him out?” Steve’s entire body is flaming.

“You can do that. I think it’s been long enough. You’ve been friends for what, a year now?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t really go into my mushy gushy feelings for him until after you and I broke up.”

“Did you just forget the entire California trip?”

“Heeeeey, I didn’t do anything with him there. I’d never cheat on you.”

Nancy smiles, her eyes creasing in the corners. “I know, Steve, and I love you for being such a good person like that. But it’s okay. Ask him out. You deserve it, and he deserves to know.”

“You’re right. He deserves that. He honestly deserves everything good in the world. I’m gonna tell him. Thanks, Nance.”

(But now, the question is: how is he going to tell him?)

***

Steve spends the entire weekend planning how he’s going to _finally_ tell Felix he _really_ likes him, and potentially even ask him out. He thinks of a handful of ideas; writing him a song in return (Steve can’t sing. Or write music), taking him to a diner (boring and generic), taking him to the beach (Steve, what the fuck, you live in the middle of America in a secluded town), and many other lame and unintriguing propositions.

He groans and slams his fists down upon his desk, something tipping over the edge due to the impact. The object thuds onto the floor and Steve leans over to peek at what fell: the VHS tape Felix got him for his birthday back in October. Then, Steve remembers. November 23rd is coming up soon. November 23rd is Felix’s seventeenth birthday. And, the annual Fall Fair is concurring on that day. (They also luckily don’t have school that day because of Thanksgiving weekend.)

This is perfect. This is _too_ perfect. When Steve is reminded of this, his brain begins to function. (For fucking once, well, twice now.)

Steve’s plan is to take Felix to the Fall Fair (both tickets on him, of course) for his birthday, and ask him out there. But that seems a little too… plain. So, Steve continues to think.

For the next two days, Steve maps out all of the things Felix reminds him of, as well as things Felix likes and things Steve knows about him. Felix loves music, he likes to collect bottle caps, and is academically inclined. Steve bases his gifts off of those three things: Felix’s first gift (aside from tickets to the fair) will be a mixtape made by yours truly. (Felix had made countless mixtapes for Steve, and he still doesn’t have one in return. Steve has made a playlist for Nancy, so he’s completely capable of making another for Felix.) His second gift will be a custom made bottle cap. It’ll be one of a kind, and Steve hopes it turns out nicely. (He’ll do that once he learns how to paint.) The final gift will be a letter. A letter where Steve is going to admit his feelings and basically wax lyrical about how much Felix means to him and how great of a person he is.

With this, Steve has Felix’s birthday bash and love confessions on air.

***

When Steve sees Felix on Monday morning, he immediately gets hit with butterflies. The last time he had seen this boy, they were making out, so the feeling is still there, lingering. And it grows stronger when Felix gives him the prettiest smile he’s ever seen.

“Hey.” Steve leans against by Felix’s locker, observing him as he gathers his things for his first period class.

“Hi,” Felix hums, shoving a stack of books into his already cramped backpack.

“You come here often?” Steve jokes.

“Yeah, I do. I’m quite familiar with that pretty face of yours,” Felix smirks, and Steve’s eyes go as wide as saucers. “I’ve got to get to class, I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you, Jukeboy.”

Steve and Felix begin to flirt (it’s more distinct than before), and they do a lot of it, but Steve doesn’t want to get ahead of himself. They share touches--brushing of fingers, Steve holding onto his arm when they walk, Felix resting his head on Steve’s shoulder when they sit in the cafeteria at lunch--look at each other with the softest eyes, and are overall more physically affectionate with one another. None of them do anything about it, though. And they act like nothing happened on Friday. (Which for sure isn’t true. That Friday is definitely number one on Steve’s “Best Things To Ever Happen To Me” list.)

They hang out every day as per usual, but Steve usually heads home earlier than he wishes to because he still needs to make Felix’s gifts, and he’s not exactly the craftiest person. The mixtape will be easy to make, as long as he doesn’t fuck it up. The bottle cap will be a bit more difficult since he can’t paint for shit nor does he own paint and paint brushes. (He’ll have to ask Nancy for help.) And as for the letter, he’ll get to that eventually.

***

The first song Steve puts on Felix’s mixtape is _You’re My Best Friend._ That song always reminds him of Felix, so it deserves the first slot on the tape. He had stopped by the music shop earlier that day to fetch a few cassettes, and they’re now all laid out on Steve’s bed for him to select at ease. The next few songs Steve adds are _Kiss On My List, Come And Get Your Love, Your Song, He’s Funny That Way, Earth Angel, Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy, What I Like About You, Put Your Head On My Shoulder,_ and _Can’t Take My Eyes Off You._ Steve thinks those might be some of the most romantic songs in existence, and now they belong to Felix.

After four long hours of failed attempts at making this one fucking mixtape, (Steve kept accidentally switching songs too early and it resulted in the entire tape being choppy and messed up) the playlist is finally finished. When the cassette player clicks and ejects the cassette, Steve slaps a line of tape across the front and writes “FOR YOU” in black sharpie. He clips the cassette into a plastic container and places it into a drawer by his desk for later.

While Steve’s about to crash for the night (his back is aching due to him being hunched over the side of his bed for four hours straight), his telephone begins to ring. Steve hesitates on letting the call die out or actually answering it; the only thing compelling him from going to bed is the possibility of Felix being on the line, so, Steve picks up the phone.

“Hello?” Steve says, the “o” elongating into a yawn.

“Steve? It’s Dustin.”

It’s not Felix. “Okay, good night, kid--”

“--WAIT DON’T HANG UP!”

Steve groans and runs a hand through his hair, resting his palm against the nape of his neck. “The hell do you want? It’s late.”

“It’s only nine.”

“I’m literally about to hang up.”

“OKAY! Okay. So the party and I are going to the fall fair on the twenty third. We’ve already bought tickets ‘cus Lucas’ mom got them for us. But we need a ride. Everyone’s busy. So could you be a little charitable and bring us there? Please?”

“No, Dustin. I’m going to the fair with Felix that day and I’m not letting you little shits ruin our dat-- _day_. Day.”

“Oh? That’s perfect! You’re going anyways so you might as well bring us.”

“Did you listen to a word I said?”

“No, not really. Anyways. We’ll be ready by 12. Night, Stevie-o! Thanks again!” And the kid hangs up.

Okay. O-fucking-kay. His plans are ruined now. The fair was supposed to be a getaway for he and Felix, not a field trip. And the thing is, he still hasn’t asked Felix if he’s free that day. He does recall him saying that he’d get breakfast with his dad in the morning, but other than that, Steve can conclude that Felix is unoccupied. Steve rolls under his covers and switches his lamp off, now a little bit nervous about his plans coming to a fault. He’ll ask Felix. Sooner or later.

***

Felix’s birthday is only a week from today’s date, and Steve only has one present finished. Also, he has yet to tell Felix about his plans. He doesn’t have time to spare.

Steve had just finished a game of basketball, the bell dismissing them from practice. He takes a quick shower and pulls on the new team hoodies and jeans he was wearing earlier that day before meeting with Felix at the front of the school.

“Look at that, we’re matching,” Felix says, pointing to the old hoodie Steve gave him back in the hospital. The sweater Felix is wearing has an older variant of the school’s basketball team logo, but other than that, the hoodie is identical to Steve’s.

Steve smirks and nudges Felix in the shoulder with his elbow. “Didn’t even plan on it. It’s cute, though.” They make a short walk to Steve’s car, throwing their bags into the trunk.

“It’s destiny,” Felix snickers, sitting himself in the passenger seat of Steve’s car.

“Is it really? I think you’re copying me.”

“How the hell would I have known that you’d wear your sweater after the game? I came to school in this hoodie. If anything, you’re copying me.”

“That’s… that’s fair. Fine, I guess I am copying you, Hayes.”

“Knew it.”

Steve zips up his coat while Felix turns the car radio on before the two of them drive to the café for their tutoring session. It’s now Steve’s moment to ask Felix. “Hey.”

“Hey?” Felix turns to Steve and raises a brow.

“I was wondering if you were free next week. On your birthday.” _Please be free, please be free, please be free._

“Hm? Oh, I’m having breakfast with my dad, but after 11:30 I’ll be free. Why?”

“Oh thank fuck. I’m taking you to the fall fair. For your birthday. My treat.”

Felix’s lips twitch into a grin, his eyes gleaming. “Holy crap, oh my God. Really? Steve, I’m paying you back for that.”

“No, you idiot. It’s my birthday present to you. Well, part of it. Most of it.”

“I wish I could hug you right now but I don’t want you crashing the car.”

“I’ll pull over--”

“Keep driving, you can wait till the café, Mr. Impatient.”

Steve scoffs and rolls his eyes. “But uh, the thing is,” Steve pauses and purses his lips, “Dustin called me a while ago and pretty much held me gunpoint until I’d agree to bring him and his dork friends to the fair. On the same day we’re going. So they’re gonna be with us for the day. Well, I told ‘em to leave us alone.”

“It’s fine, Steve. I fixed up my dad’s old Volkswagen Bus a week ago and I wanted to give her a test run anyway. We can bring the kids in that. We’ll be like their dads for the day. It’ll be fun.”

Steve smirks. “Their dads, huh? Will you be taking my last name or am I taking yours?”

“I think Felix Harrington has a nice ring to it.” Felix is blushing like a madman and Steve nearly passes out.

“I always win,” Steve says, trying to play it cool. Playing it cool is quite difficult when all Steve feels is heat.

***

Painting--or any other form of visual art, as a matter of fact--has never been and will never be Steve’s forte. He basically failed his art class the previous year and he ate paint when he was ten years old (and got sent to the hospital), so it’s not just he isn’t good at art, it doesn’t go in his favour either.

He had told Nancy about his plan for Felix, and her being the angel she is, she offered to help Steve with the bottle cap portion of his gift. (Likewise, she’s not too skilled in painting, but at least she actually owns something Steve could use to paint.)

“Can you pass me the purple?” Steve’s bowed over Nancy’s desk, a bottle cap held delicately in his left hand and a nail polish brush in his right. He dips the brush into pink polish, applying the colour onto the cap. Nancy hands him the purple bottle and resumes writing in her notebook.

“Have you started your letter?” she asks.

Steve lets out a comical laugh. “The only thing I have written down is _Dear Jukeboy_. Hope that answers your question.”

Nancy rolls her eyes. “Do you need help with it?”

“I’d say yes any other time, but I want to prove a point.”

“And what point is that?”

Steve turns to glimpse at Nancy. “That Felix’s tutoring lessons actually worked. And also I need to be literate.”

“Alright, Steve.”

He drags the purple brush atop the cap, overlapping the pink in order to create an ombre effect to allude a sunset. It doesn’t turn out quite right, the lines edging the two colours more harsh than blended.

“Does this look good?” Steve holds his hand up to Nancy, the bottle cap displayed in between his thumb and pointer finger.

“Yeah! It looks a lot like the background on that stupid t-shirt you have,” Nancy replies.

“...Which one?”

“The _What’s Up Beaches!_ one.”

“Oh. Perfect.”

Setting the cap down to dry in preparation for the next layer of designs, Steve lays vicinal to Nancy and rests his head in her lap.

“What do you want?” Nancy hums softly, raking her fingers through his hair.

Steve’s eyes flutter shut and he places his hands on his stomach, clasping them together. “Nothing, just wanted to sit with my best girl.” Steve can feel Nancy’s shoulders dropping and her head tilting from under him. He blinks one eye open and catches her smiling. He smiles, too.

Steve purses his lips. “How are you and Jonathan doing? How are you doing?” The questions are a tad intruding, but Steve wants to know.

Nancy removes her hands from Steve’s hair and corrugates her brows, her lips a thin line. “We’re not together… It’s complicated… I’m…”

Steve sits up and places his hand on her knee. “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain anything. I just wanted to make sure my girl is alright. So are you?”

Nancy inhales a breath through her nose, crouching down to plant a kiss on Steve’s forehead. “I am, Steve. I’m alright. You are, too, right?”

“Fresh as a daisy.”

Nancy giggles. “You sound like an old man.”

“Felix is starting to rub off on me,” Steve says, sitting back up and heading back to Nancy’s desk.

“Isn’t that a good thing? He’s more literate and articulate than you are,” Nancy teases, her legs dangling off the side of her bed.

“Okay, fuck off,” Steve whines, digging through Nancy’s caboodle of nail polishes and makeup. He plucks up an orange bottle and shakes it before painting in a heart right in the middle of the cap.

“Aren’t suns supposed to be circle?” Nancy asks, peeking over his shoulder.

“Well, yeah, but I wanted to make it a heart because he likes the sun and loves California. And I also thought it’d be more romantic. So.”

“That’s so cute and thoughtful of you.”

“I know right? Can’t believe I thought of it.”

The bottle cap ends up taking an hour to paint, Steve spending thirty minutes merely on the palm tree designs. (“Nancy, Nancy, Nancy, don’t breathe or talk or blink,” “What the hell are you doing--” “THE PALM TREES, NANCE. MY FINGERS ARE TOO SHAKY AND BIG FOR THIS,”) He affixed a safety pin to the back of the cap (so Felix could put it on his jacket or his backpack) and burnt his thumb on the tip of the hot glue gun he used, but the bottle cap has been successfully painted and finished, so it doesn’t matter that his thumb stings like hell.

“Steve,” Nancy suddenly says. Steve’s watching a show on Nancy’s miniature TV box roosted on her cabinet.

“Yeah?” he replies, though keeps his eyes on the screen.

“Can I paint your nails?”

Steve’s attention is torn from the television. He whips his head to her direction, raising a brow. “Why? Is it because I like men?” He sounds a little offended. It does feel good to comfortably say that out loud, though.

“What? No. Your hands are nice and I wanted us to match.” Nancy holds up her right hand, her fingernails painted black.

“Oh. Okay. Sure.” Steve props himself up from where he was lying down, crossing his legs and sitting opposite to Nancy. “Are you painting both hands?”

“No, just your left.”

“Why?”

“So we match? Kinda like yin and yang.”

“I don’t know what that is. But go nuts.”

Nancy shakes her head and laughs, grabbing a bottle of white nail polish. She takes Steve’s left hand and rests it on top of the pillow in her lap, beginning to paint his nails.

If someone had told junior year Steve Harrington that a year from then he’d be sitting in Nancy Wheeler’s room getting his nails painted--and not doing anything that his weird, constantly horny, jerk old self would fantasize about--he’d call them an absolute madman. But here he is, doing just that. It’s strange how somebody and their opinions can change so drastically in the span of a year. A year ago, Steve only viewed Nancy as another chick that he’d hook up with from time to time. Then, he fell in love with her. And they dated, then broke up. And even after Nancy told Steve she didn’t love him the way he did, he didn’t react in the same way as when he saw her and Jonathan Byers sitting on the bed they’re sitting in right now through her bedroom window. Steve still loves Nancy, but he respects her more than ever, too.

If someone had told junior year Steve that a year from then, he would be smitten with a boy, he would’ve called them crazy. But Steve isn’t old Steve anymore. He’s new Steve and he’s in love with a boy. And that’s okay.

***

Steve’s in his room, three days before Felix’s birthday, and he still doesn’t have Felix’s letter written. He has to finish it now, because if he doesn’t, he’ll procrastinate and there’s no way he can write it and complete it the day before he confesses his undying love to Felix. It’s too overwhelming and stressful he might pass out.

The tip of the pen he’s holding taps against the wooden surface of his desk as he twiddles it between his fingers, his right leg jiggling up and down. He had just gotten home from a tutoring lesson and his mind is boggling with all things Felix, yet he still can’t figure out what to write. Steve stands from his desk and paces around his room, scavenging through his things until he finds inspiration. He goes through his school backpack (he pulls out a little note Felix had given him in September. All it says is don’t forget to meet me for tutoring today, but Steve still thinks it’s really cute), his drawers (he takes the VHS tape Felix gifted him for his birthday), and the junk under his bed (he grabs a music sheet for the song _Somebody To Love,_ which was left here by Felix.) He tosses the papers onto his desk and steps over to his TV, slipping the tape into the VHS player.

Watching the compilation for the first time since his birthday is an emotional ride due to a list of things. First off, the plain sight of Felix just makes Steve relive the sensation he felt during their first kiss. He feels warm and giddy and he can’t stop smiling at the cute little clips of the two of them strolling through California. He would say he misses the summer, but he honestly just misses Felix (even though they just saw each other an hour ago). Second off, it makes Steve think about his own birthday. Though he had spent it with friends who he loves, it’s a bit weird to acknowledge that he and Nancy only broke up a month ago. He knows that Nancy had stopped liking him weeks, maybe even months, before they had parted ways romantically. He knows that through the little things; Nancy not returning his I love yous, her hesitant kisses, and being less affectionate with him overall. He does feel bad for getting over her so quickly, but it isn’t as quick as he thought. Lastly, it hits him that the verdict of he and Felix’s entire relationship will be established in only three days. Their relationship has gone through highs and lows--how they literally started off with a punch, Felix calling him out for his fishy music taste,  going on a spontaneous trip to California five months after becoming friends, and going through the end of the world together--and they, at least Steve, fell in love during the process. On Friday, Steve and Felix’s relationship will be changed forever, and the undisclosed stature of the result makes Steve uneasy.

On one hand, the more obvious one, Steve will get himself the boyfriend of his dreams and can die happy. But on the other, Felix could also say no, Steve, you’ve been reading this wrong the whole time and I’m just very loving and affectionate towards my friends. Or I’ve changed my mind about our kiss, Steve. I don’t like boys, Steve. I don’t like you that way, Steve. _It’s bullshit, Steve._

Steve stops thinking about the other hand before he has a breakdown.

After giving himself a harsh pep talk to boost his confidence and insecurities in the mirror, he begins to write.

_“Dear Jukeboy:_

_We both know that writing isn’t my strongest point, but I hope your tutoring lessons paid off…”_

The sun is way past down by the time Steve finishes his letter, the only lights in his room being the lamp on his desk and the moon shining through his bedroom window. The hands on his alarm clock read twelve o’ one AM, which is earlier than Steve thought. He folds the letter four times and slips it into the pocket of the jacket he will be wearing on Friday. (Yes, he already has an outfit planned out.)

Steve puts the bottle cap and the mixtape he had made into his bag, then goes to sleep.


	7. and this one's for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been awhile, i've been busy and out of inspo for the next chapter so i'm just dumping this here for the meantime. this chapter's quite long anyways, so i hope you all enjoy it! (also, i added a new scene into chapter one. it's a guitar lesson right after the first time steve gives felix a ride, if you haven't read it yet.)

On the day of the fall fair, Steve finds Felix in his garage, the upper half of his body hidden under the Volkswagen bus he had spoken about last week. Steve can hear the sound of an unknown tool clanging against metal, accompanied by Felix humming along to music spilling from the portable stereo perched on a stool by the van. He could honestly leave Felix be and listen to his angelic, yet muffled, voice, but Steve has six kids impatiently waiting on him. And, he has to take Felix out for his birthday, too.

“Hey, birthday boy,” Steve finally says, his voice a little nervous, prodding a foot at the bumper of the vehicle. Felix emits a yelp and rolls himself out from under the bus.

“You scared the living daylights outta me! I coulda banged my head on the car and died, y’know,” Felix scolds, but smiles. Steve grins back and shoves his hands into the pockets of his navy blue jacket. He feels a corner of a folded piece of paper jab lightly at his skin. It reminds him of what’s supposed to happen tonight.

“Yeesh, sorry, babe. Thought you heard me coming.” The pet name leaves Steve’s lips so innately.

Felix snorts. “Well I didn’t,  _ babe _ , so be thankful I’m not passed out under this car. The kids would be mad at you for bailing on ‘em.”

“I had no choice! They basically forced me to bring them. No, scratch that. They  _ did  _ force me to bring them.”

“Wouldn’t you have said yes anyways?”

Steve tsks. “Well, yeah, because I’m nice. But only if it was some other day. Today was supposed to just be you and I.”

Felix smiles with a fondness he only ever shows Steve. Although Felix is nice to everyone, this type of smile belongs solely to him. “Today is still gonna be just you and I, okay? We’ll go on a couple of rides with the kids then be on our way. It’ll be like Cali.”

At the mention of California, Steve does his best to restrain a grin. “Okay. Fine. Is this car, bus, thing, ready?”

“Yeah, I was just making a quick checkup. It’s good to go. Let’s rock and roll, shall we?”

Steve laughs, then nods, and slips into the driver’s seat, Felix sitting beside him, the boys on their way to pick up the remainder of their passengers.

Will Byers is the first kid they pick up. Joyce had thanked Steve and Felix for taking the time to humour the kids and insisted on paying them. All Steve had replied with was that it’s no big deal, really, keep the money, we’re just doing a good deed, have a good night, Ms. Byers.

The ride to Dustin’s house is relatively quiet aside from the music pouring from the radio and Felix occasionally sparking conversation with Will just to drown out the silence. Will does like to talk quite a bit once you get him started.

Steve greets Dustin at his doorstep with a fistbump and ruffles his fingers through his curls. The kid whines and gets a wet kiss on the forehead from his mother then makes a run for the van to escape the words of caution his mother spewed. Dustin shouts “I love you, bye!” from the bus before shutting the door. Steve just tells her that he promises to bring them home by nine and follows behind Dustin.

When Dustin and Will make each other’s presences known, the car ride is no longer silent. And it doesn’t stop there. With each kid that boards the bus, it gets louder and louder.

They pass by the “Leaving Hawkins” sign and Steve has successfully muted out the kids, until they bring him into their conversation.

“Steve?” Dustin says. Steve glimpses at Felix, who’s raising an eyebrow, then looks up into the rear-view mirror. The kids hush themselves.

“What?”

“What colour is your shirt?” Dustin asks. It’s a weird yet simple question.

Steve glances down at his shirt. “Maroon. With blue stripes. Why?” And the backseat echoes with groans and cheers.

“I told you it was maroon! I’m right again!” Dustin brags.

“No, it really isn’t! It’s burgundy!” Lucas retaliates.

Mike sighs. “Jesus Christ, they’re the same colour!” 

“It’s dark red,” El says, and shrugs.

“Why does this matter? It’s just Steve’s dumb preppy shirt,” Max says, getting a “Hey! It’s not dumb,” from Steve.

Will leans in to whisper to Max. “I’ve had to deal with this for years, they’re always like this. I’ve gotten used to it.”

Steve knits his brows together and squints at the kids through the mirror.

Felix peeks at Steve’s shirt and turns to the kids. “I think Lucas is right. It’s burgundy.”

Steve looks at Felix with wide eyes and pursed lips, Felix smirking, knowing what war he just started.

“Thank you!” Lucas exclaims, throwing his hands up then letting them fall into his lap.

“Fine. Whatever. It’s burgundy. Will you rats shut up now?” Steve groans, gazing down onto the road.

“What! No! This is cheating! Felix cheated! He can get you to do anything!” Dustin complains, Lucas singing a teasing tune at him.

“Huh? No, I just want you guys to shut the hell up,” Steve says, but Dustin’s correct.

Felix hums. “Hey Steve, can you get me some churros when we get to the fair?”

“Yeah sure,” Steve responds, almost subconsciously. “Wait--oh my God. Nope. No. Fuck you, Felix.”

Felix begins to laugh. “Aren’t you already doing that?” One of the kids says. Steve can’t tell who it was, but it sounded like Will. Steve’s cheeks redden.

“Excuse me? Who said that? Because I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Steve sputters, Felix looking out the window. His ears look pink.

The kids don’t say a word. “Good, that’s what I like to hear. Keep this up for the rest of the ride and I won’t kick you guys out,” Steve scoffs, knowing he won’t do that anyways. The kids do comply, for like, five minutes, before resuming their chatter and ignoring everything Steve had just said.

They arrive at the amusement park where the fair is taking place around half an hour, more or less, later. A large red sign exhibiting the park’s name welcomes them as they spend ten minutes finding a parking spot. It’s a surprise that the roars of the roller coasters piled up with the kids’ and Steve arguing doesn’t make Steve deaf. It’s also a surprise Felix hasn’t jumped out of the car yet. Once the van is parked, everyone floods from the vehicle and begins to rush for the park entrance, though are stopped by Steve’s booming voice.

“Get back here you little shits!” Steve shouts, the kids whipping their heads to him in sync. They all reluctantly return to him, their backs slouched and shoes trudging across the pavement. “Before we all go, do you all have your tickets?” Steve asks. The kids all fumble through their pockets and hold out their passes, except for Dustin, who runs back to the van to retrieve it. “See? If I didn’t yell at you, you would’ve forgot your damn ticket.” Steve points a finger at Dustin. “Anyways. Ground rules. You all better meet Felix and I at the front of the park at 7:50, you hear me? That’s enough time to go around the park five times. Don’t bother us, and we won’t bother you.”

“Okay, but can you guys go on a couple of rides with us?” Max asks, placing a hand on her hip.

Felix holds a hand in front of Steve to stop him from disagreeing. “Sure, Red. What rides?” Steve gawks at Felix in betrayal.

“Bumper cars? Maybe a roller coaster? Some arcade games too? Apple bobbing will be fun,” Max lists, sticking out a finger with each suggestion.

Steve lets out a long, exasperated sigh. “Fine. Fine. Felix’ll hold out stuff on the roller coaster because I doubt he’ll go on it, and I’m not apple bobbing and fucking up my hair.”

“It’s already fucked up,” Will mutters, receiving cackles from the party. Steve narrows his eyes at him, and Will widens his eyes and looks down at his shoes.

“Okay, let’s go before I lock you all in the van,” Steve grumbles, making his way to the entrance. Felix trails beside him, snaking his arm under Steve’s and hooking them together.

“That’s illegal, you ass,” Felix snorts, peeping up at Steve. Steve rolls his eyes dotingly and follows behind the kids.

At the gate, they vouch their tickets in and obtain stamps on the back of their hands before being allowed into the park. When they enter, they’re met with an autumnal wonderland. The park that was once themed with primary colours is now decked in fall motif, leaf garlands and warm shades strewn across the rides and buildings. It smells of popcorn, cinnamon, and rusted metal.

“This is so pretty,” Felix says, gaping at the park, “We never had stuff like this in Cali ‘cus it was pretty much summer all year round. Well, autumn did happen but it wasn’t as immersive as this is.”

The expression on Felix’s face is so genuine and sweet. Steve wants to hold him. “I’m kinda tired of the weather but I’m glad someone loves it,” he says, “Who knew my little Cali boy would like the cold?” Felix punches his arm.

Dustin leads the eight of them to the water gun game, the kid saying it’s tradition to play that game first. They all seat themselves on a cushioned stool in front of the water guns, plush prizes hanging overhead. The kids spit playful threats at each other as the booth attendant explains the premise of the game, Steve eyeing the target and wrapping his fingers around the gun, his pointer finger hovering above the trigger. The attendant counts down from five, and when he finishes the targets light up and the water starts to run.

Steve pulls the trigger and aims it at the bullseye, the water meter almost immediately beginning to fill up. Adrenaline bounces through him, even though it’s just a stupid carnival game, and his competitiveness is rising. He doesn’t take his eyes off the target and the meter is almost full until the bell rings on his right.

“YES!” Max screams, jumping up from her seat and punching a fist in the air. The kids all whine and groan and Steve’s guilty of doing that, too.

Steve steps back from the booth and crosses his arms.

“Good job,” El congratulates Max. She surprisingly didn’t win, she could’ve cheated her win.

“Thank you, now I’d like the big snake stuffed toy,” Max says, smiling at El before pointing at the prize she wanted. The attendant tugs a large, green snake from the shelves and hands it to Max. She drapes the snake across her shoulders, the plush almost the same size as her. “I love it!”

“Why’d you pick that?” Lucas asks.

“It reminds me of my pet snake,” Max answers.

“You have a pet snake?” Mike asks, voice laced with fear.

“I had a turtle once,” Dustin says out of nowhere. They all look at him for a split second then return their gaze to Max.

Max raises a brow and nods slowly. “Yeah, his name is Worm and he looks like this but small.”

Steve snickers at the snake’s name and looks at Max with a puzzled air. “Okay, you weird little girl, are we doing bumper cars now?”

“Hell yeah!” Dustin grins, then grabs Steve and shifts him away from Felix.

“What are you doing?” Steve questions.

“Making teams, for bumper cars. It’s team Steve versus team Felix. There are only eight cars, so it’ll be perfect,” Dustin answers.

“Since when did bumper cars have teams?”

“Since forever.”

“I’m with Lex,” Max says almost immediately, standing by Felix’s side. She’s nearly as tall as him.

“Same here.” Will joins Felix’s team, high fiving Felix.

“Okay. Wow. Now I know who hates me.” Steve crosses his arms and huffs. Will and Max giggle and hold up hand hearts to him, faking pouts. Steve narrows his eyes at them and flips them off.

“I’ll be with Max and Will,” El says.

“Okay, I guess the teams are settled.” Dustin shrugs, following Mike and Lucas to Steve.

“We’re gonna kick your ass, Harrington.” Felix smirks, bumping fists with the three kids on his team.

“Okay, okay. I see how it is, Jukeboy. Me and the boys are gonna demolish you four,” Steve counters, “And you,” he points at El, “Don’t cheat.” El rolls her eyes and nods compliantly.

They line up at the bumper car booth, the teams chatting amongst themselves. “So how does this thing work again?” Steve asks, never having played or heard of a teamed bumper car game.

“Oh, yeah. Dustin made the game up. You and your team try to get to the other team’s end and make sure the other team doesn’t get to yours. First team to get every player to the other end wins,” Lucas explains, gesturing with his hands.

“It’s basically a violent live-action version of checkers,” Mike adds in. Sounds simple enough.

When they get to the front of the line, the booth steward directs them to the cars, laying down the fundamental safety regulations (keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times, blah, blah, blah.) They seat themselves in the cars closest to the proximity of their ends. The cars are multicoloured with a single solid shade, each car differing from one another with their colour and number. The booth itself is a fairly large arena, a red and white striped canopy roofing them. Metal fencing runs around the perimeter of the arena, and there are speakers lodged up on poles in each corner. The attendant announces that the game will start once the music plays, and everyone begins shouting challenging remarks at each other until the speakers crackle and music begins to play.

The bumper cars rumble to life, and the game commences.

Steve jolts in his seat, Dustin bumping into his car from behind him. “Jesus Christ! I’m on your team, dumbass!”

“Get your big head out of my way then!” Dustin yells, maneuvering his car past him. Steve groans and backs the car up, driving past Mike who is having a tantrum in his seat.

“My car won’t start! Stop the game!” Mike whines, punching at the steering wheel.

“Hah! Loser!” Max shouts from her end, dashing past Dustin at the halfway point of the arena.

“Oh no you don’t,” Steve mutters to himself, colliding his car with Max’s to thwart her path.

“Bitch!” Max groans, her eyebrows corrugating. Steve snorts and drives past her.

Lucas has gone the furthest, but is stopped by Will. The two of them are currently squared in a corner trying to stop each other from moving.

“God damn it this stupid car won’t work! I’m tapping out!” Mike shouts.

“That’s cheating, we have more players now!” Max snaps.

“Oh sorry, it’s not my fault the car won’t work!” Mike scoffs, crossing his arms angrily and slouching back into his seat.

Steve ignores their bickering and continues making his way to the other end, until Felix crashes his car into his. Steve jumps in his seat and his hair falls into his face due to the impact. “What the hell!” Steve whines, Felix laughing at him.

“Sorry, baby, gotta go!” Felix sneers, winking and racing past him. Steve’s face goes red and it’s collectively because of adrenaline, anger, competitiveness, and Felix making him flustered. Steve shakes his head and rakes his fingers through his hair before zoning back and flooring the pedal.

El bumps into Steve and yelps, her car skidding against the ground. “Sorry!” Steve says. He has a soft spot for her because she’s the only kid that’s nice to him through and through. And he’s always wanted a little sister. (Max is nice to Steve, too, but only when no one’s around to prove it.)

“Okay,” she giggles, bolting past him. Steve reaches Felix’s end and meets with Lucas, the only kid left from their team--other than Mike who’s moping in his broken down car--being Dustin. Felix and El and Will have all made it to Steve’s side, Max and Dustin in a showdown.

The kids, aside from El because she doesn’t know what’s going on, start chanting the main theme from  _ The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly _ as Dustin and Max crash into each other in the center of the court, then dart towards the opposing ends. The kids cheer and shout, and one kid makes the winning run.

“YES!” Max, Felix, El, and Will let out a synchronized holler, Steve’s team booing them.

“That was NOT fair! You guys cheated!” Dustin protests.

“Hey! You guys had one less player and we still won!” Max says. Mike squints at her and grumbles to himself under his breath. “It was a good game, you guys sucked, but it was a good game,” Max laughs, unbuckling her seat belt and exiting the car. The rest of them follow suit and leave the booth.

Steve hasn’t ridden a roller coaster in over a year. The last time he did was when he and Tommy and company were still acquainted. He and a couple of his old friends had gone to the amusement park during the summer for Tommy’s birthday, and that’s quite about everything he remembers from that day. They were all incredibly rude and obnoxious, and it’s a surprise they didn’t get kicked out. Tommy and Carol hooked up in the bathroom, which was really fucking gross, while Steve had to entertain the rest of the crowd while they were off doing that; it was mostly the girls Tommy invited ogling Steve. He admittedly fed into their infatuations for him, but he refused to do anything with them because he was getting tired of mindless hookups. And, it was during the time he started fancying Nancy Wheeler.

Roller coasters aren’t really Steve’s favourite ride, they make him dizzy and his natural instinct is to scream so it’s fairly embarrassing. But the kids want him to go on it with them, so he does.

The roller coaster is the biggest one in the park, and it’s frightening how brave and excited the kids are. There’s a climb and a steep drop that weaves into a loop then trails into a series of twists and turns; Steve watches the set of passengers shriek as they launch down the track, his eyes the size of the moon.

Steve gulps. “On second thought, I think I’m gonna stay with Felix--”

“Pussy,” Max snorts. Steve opens his mouth then purses his lips and shoves a finger in her direction.

“Okay, nevermind, I’m going, screw it.”

The kids leave their bags with Felix, who’s occupying a bench right by the lineup for the ride, and take their spots in line ahead of Steve.

“Don’t die,” Felix says. His tone is serious, but he smiles after it.

“Can’t promise anything, that ride looks deadly,” Steve teases, shrugging and giving him a crooked grin.

Felix knocks his knuckles on the wood of the bench. “Shut up, don’t jinx it! I don’t know how you and the kids do it. That thing is terrifying.”

“I don’t know either. Don’t miss me too much.” Steve winks and salutes before sauntering over to the kids.

Felix laughs. “Miss you already!”

When Steve catches up to the kids in line, they all stare at him inquisitively. He gives them a puzzled look. “What?”

They share looks with each other, Max nudging an elbow at Lucas’s side. “Uhh… You and Felix are good friends, huh,” Lucas says. Mike and Will avert eye contact from one another and glance at the ground.

“Yeah? What’s going on? What were you little shits talking about?” Steve sounds nervous. He is, and it shows in the rosy glow of his cheeks.

“Nothing,” they all respond in conformity.

“Nothing big… You kinda sound and look in love with Felix all the time,” Max intervenes, teetering on the heels of her feet.

Steve is taken aback by that statement. His face goes from pink to red and his heart is having a fucking party in his chest. Thinking about it, his love for Felix is comparable to his love for Nancy. Every time he thinks or looks or talks to Felix, he is reminded of their disregarded kiss. And when Steve thinks about their kiss, his heart beats out of his body.

“Okay, I really don’t, but okay,” Steve lies.

“Sure,” Will says, sarcastic.

“Can two boys love each other?” El asks, genuinely confused and interested.

“Yeah! There were a lot of gay people in California. People are mean to them. Don’t be mean to gay people,” Max answers, tucking her hands into her jacket pockets.

El nods, but her face still reads fuddled. “What’s gay?”

“It’s when a boy likes a boy or a girl likes a girl,” Mike says, all too quickly, “I think.”

“Yeah, okay, gay people exist. Now move up the line,” Steve interrupts, wanting to drop the topic. Talking about this subject makes Steve really anxious, for some reason. He’s completely comfortable with his sexuality by now, but some people aren’t, and Steve doesn’t want to wait around to meet those people.

The lineup for the roller coaster is long, as predicted, and it takes them twenty minutes to get to the ride itself. They spend those twenty minutes playing I Spy, Cat’s Cradle (Max just happened to have a string of yarn with her), and Chopsticks _ , _ until they finally make it to the front of the line. El would win every single game of chopsticks despite it being her first time playing.

Steve sits at the very front of the cart beside Dustin, Will and El behind them and in front of Max and Lucas, and Mike taking one for the team by sitting beside a stranger.

The cart shifts and the track clicks. “Jesus Christ,” Steve gasps as the cart slowly begins to inch forward.

“It’ll be fine!” Dustin says, tugging the ear flaps of his hat closer to his face. Steve leans back in his seat and wraps his digits around the metal seat bar, his knuckles white from how tightly he’s gripping it.

The cart makes a steady escalation up to the tip of the highest point, Steve sinking in his seat with every movement the cart made. His eyes are locked on the blue sky above them, unable to take in the view below; he’s too afraid to appreciate how pretty the park looks from up here.

At the top of the rail, the cart makes an abrupt stop. “Oh my God, oh my God, holy SHIT!” Steve mutters, bracing himself.

“Shut up, Steve! There are kids on this ride!” Max shouts from behind.

“Shut up, Max! I am about to d--AH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” The cart bullets down the track, the wind pricking his skin, his jaw dropped, hair flying, and eyes clamped shut. The kids behind him, he can’t even tell if it’s the party or the other passengers, are screeching at the top of their lungs. The cart rides up the loop and Steve swears he blacks out the moment they’re upside down.

Steve opens his eyes and blurs of colours pass by his vision, his ears ringing with the sound of yelling and the thunder of the roller coaster. The cart jolts with every veer, Steve’s insides a jumbled mess. Steve feels like vomiting.

The ride goes by in a blink of an eye--although to Steve it feels like an eternity--and the cart returns to the entrance. Everyone is silent and breathing heavily.

“That was awesome!” El chirps, the six of them turning their heads to her. Her curls are pushed back and she has a toothy grin slapped on her mouth. Steve looks at her like she’s an alien.

“Yeah, sure, I’m getting off now.” Steve tumbles out of the cart and bends over, resting his hands on his knees and taking a moment to relax. Dustin claps his hand on his shoulder blade.

“You okay, man?” Dustin asks.

“No,” Steve responds.

“Okay.” Dustin nods and leaves him to return to his friends.

The party calls him over, alerting him that they’ll leave him there until he barfs his guts out, Steve tailing behind them and flipping them off once he catches up to them.

“Guys, I think Steve died,” Dustin whispers, holding a hand up beside his mouth.

“Really? Thank God,” Mike chortles, nearly tripping down the steps to the exit.

“Okay, fuck off, kid. I’m right here,” Steve snaps, Mike poking his tongue out at him.

Felix runs up to them the second they exit the ride, their bags heaped over his arms. “Finally! You guys took forever!”

“The line was really long, sorry we left you alone,” Will apologizes, fetching his bag from Felix. The kids take their bags then group together, conversing amidst themselves.

Felix glances up at Steve. “Nice hair,” he snickers, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Steve’s ear.

Steve blushes and rolls his eyes, running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to return it to its original, voluminous state. “Oh, shut up.”

“Don’t be rude, it’s cute. Very George Michael-esque.”

Steve hums, clicking his tongue. “Fine. Can we go? All the kids do is make fun of me. Except for El, she’s nice to me.”

“Sure, but I wanted to get them candy apples first.”

Steve narrows his eyes. “You’re either just super nice today or you just want the kids to like you.”

Felix’s mouth opens and he furrows his eyebrows together. “First of all, I’m always nice. And the kids already like me better--”

“God, let’s just get them the candy so we can go. Won’t be my fault if they get cavities.”

///

Seven candy apples are quite expensive, but thankfully Steve’s parents throw money at him for doing absolutely nothing. The benefits of having rich parents are obviously having money to use whenever, but it can also make you a spoiled brat. Or have to learn to raise yourself because your parents are always out working to get that money. Nobody’s perfect. Steve’s not going to bitch about it because he knows people have it way harder than him.

The kids all thank him and grab their candy apples like raccoons scouring through garbage bins, fighting for the ones with more caramel or the bigger ones. Kids are fucking weird.

“Everybody say thank you, Steve,” Felix says, nipping on his own apple.

“Thank you, Steve,” they all say, biting and chomping on their candies like its a challenge.

“You’re welcome. Now me and the birthday boy are gonna leave you all be. Don’t bother us.” Steve takes a bite from Felix’s apple and stands from the table they were sitting at.

“Birthday boy? It’s Felix’s birthday?” Dustin perks up.

Felix shrugs. “Yeah? It’s not a big deal, though.”

“Of course it’s a big deal, Lex! You’re what, seventeen now?” Max grins, caramel sticking in between her teeth. The six kids all chant the happy birthday song as Felix hides his face in his hands in embarrassment. Felix is so cute.

“What do people do on their birthdays?” El asks, struggling to bite through her apple.

Will turns to her. “A lot of things. Parties, gifts…”

“Birthday punches!” Max cackles, almost menacingly, and lunges towards Felix, punching his arm seventeen times.

“Jesus Christ! Ow! You’ve gotten strong, Red,” Felix groans, cupping a hand over the area she punched him in.

“That was fucking violent. Really feeling the love,” Steve cuts in, his nose scrunching up.

Max rolls her eyes. “It’s tradition.”

“My arm hurt for a whole week after Mike punched me for my twelfth birthday,” Dustin says.

Steve nods slowly.“Geez, you guys are young. Anyways, we’re going. I’m sure you guys are fine on your own.”

“Wait! Take this, just in case.” Lucas pulls out one of their walkies and passes it to Steve. Steve puts it into his bag, getting a peek at Felix’s birthday gifts, and slings it over his back.

“Okay. We’re going. Don’t do anything dumb.” Steve salutes the lot of them and wraps an arm around Felix’s shoulders, the two cascading away and into the rest of the park.

///

Steve and Felix find themselves at the bottom of the ferris wheel when the sun begins to set. It’s around six PM, and they’ve already gone around the park twice. They had played several carnival games at the booths (the only thing they won was a rubber duck), and went on the more mediocre rides that the both of them could handle. Now, Steve’s about to give Felix (part of) his birthday gift.

“Fuck it,” Steve mutters to himself, his hand grasping the letter in his pocket. He was initially going to just give Felix his gift, but he’s changed his mind.

They’ve been arguing for around five minutes now, people passing by them to get in line for the ride. “I’m not going on that, Steve! You know how I feel about heights.”

“Felix, please. I promise you’ll be okay. It’s important you go on it. Like. My entire life depends on it.” Steve’s getting impatient and anxious and he can’t stop running his fingers through his hair.

“Steve--”

“It will be fine. I swear on my mom. I swear on Nancy. Please. For me?” Steve’s getting desperate, as if he wasn’t already. “It’ll go by faster than you think.” That’s a lie. For Steve, this ride will last a millennia.

Felix taps his foot against the cement and purses his lips, crossing his arms and glaring at Steve. “Fine. Just this once.”

A toothy grin plasters Steve’s face, Steve holding Felix’s shoulders. “Oh thank fuck, I might’ve passed out if you said no.”

“What’s so importa--”

“What’s the hold up?” a stranger says from behind them. Oh, yeah. They’re still in line.

“Sorry,” Felix says, taking Steve’s arm and dragging him in line. Steve mouths an apology to the stranger and shoves his hands into his pockets, his right hand fiddling with the note hidden beneath the fabric.

Steve doesn’t say a word for the span of the two minutes they wait in line. He’s sweating profusely, despite the cool weather. Being nervous is a normal thing for Steve. But normally when he’s nervous, he’d be loud and incoherent (like the time he first encountered the demogorgon at the Byers’ place.) This is a whole new experience for him, just like his attraction to boys. And he doesn’t know if this applies to other boys he might like in the future (he’d rather not find that out, though) or if it’s just Felix. It’s probably just Felix because every time he looks at that boy he falls a little more in love.

They get seated in a cubicle and once the door shuts, Steve and Felix are the only people in the universe.

“I think I’m gonna die,” Felix says, laughing anxiously.

“You’re not. Just keep your eyes on me.”

Felix takes a breath and does as Steve says, bracing himself for the movement of the wheel.

“Okay, good. Now. Don’t say a word until I’m done this.” With a shaky hand, Steve unsheathes the letter from his pocket.

Felix’s eyes go directly down to the letter. “What are you d--”

“Ah, ah, ah. I said not a word.” Steve takes in a deep breath, preparing himself for what he’s going to confess.

Felix nods and the ride begins to move.

“Dear Jukeboy:

We both know that writing isn’t my strongest point, but I hope your tutoring lessons paid off. I know our first meeting wasn’t ideal, but I’m pretty glad you punched me in the face. You throw one hell of a punch and it hurt like a bitch, but it made me realize something. It made me realize how much of an asshole I was--and that’s a good thing! Because I had my head up my ass for so long that I didn’t realize it till then. So thanks. For helping me change. It feels good being good. Way better than being some asshole popular kid. Enough about me; ever since I first saw you singing and playing your guitar at the talent show, I knew something was special about you. And it’s not… It’s not because you’re good with your fingers…” Steve hesitantly says the last sentence, his voice audibly disappointed.

Felix laughs. It’s the first sound he’s made since Steve started reading this.

“You’re just cool--you can sing, skateboard, play the guitar, and fix cars for God’s sake--and nice and sweet and everything a jerk like me wants to be. I’m glad you started hanging onto my car in the morning on your skateboard. If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t have started giving you rides to school. And you wouldn’t have gotten mad about the music on the radio in my car and made mixtapes with me. Coulda went without that, though. My music is fine, thank you.

Moving on. After we regularly started hanging out, after all those mixtapes, and after breaking up with Nancy, something clicked. Especially after the end of the world shit and the whole tunnel thing, and I’m not gonna talk about it a lot because I really don’t like thinking about it and doubt you do either, you nearly dying just… Set something off. It was terrifying, the thought of losing you. And I think that’s when I realized I want you to be in my life. For a very long time, at least.” Steve bites his lip and flips the page over.

“I have to bring up our Cali trip because that’s where everything happened for me. I was never opposed to the idea of liking boys, but I never really acted on it either. Yeah, I thought Luke was as pretty as Leia the first time I watched  _ A New Hope _ , but I didn’t think that was an issue. But being a guy who likes guys--and girls--isn’t widely accepted, apparently. When we watched Karate Kid--hear me out, it sounds fucking dumb but don’t be mean to me for it--I think I then realized that I do indeed find boys cute. Like how I see girls. And it’s because of... Ralph Macchio. And you, too. You’re like, really fucking cute, Felix. Don’t know if you know that. Anyways. That trip was definitely the best week of my life, and I really can’t imagine it without you. That sounds really cheesy but I’m serious--I’m kind of a romantic, okay!

I thought that my attraction to boys was just because I think they’re cute looks-wise, but it didn’t end there. Later on in our relationship, I found out that hey, I think I might like boys like I like girls. Especially a boy whose name rhymes with Schmelix.

Then when you wrote me that fucking song--the song that made me all weak at the knees--I kissed you. And you kissed me back. And that’s when I knew that my feelings weren’t one-sided. I thought that kissing a guy would be different from kissing a girl, but it really wasn’t. I thought I’d feel guilty and gross, but I didn’t feel bad about it. It felt right. You feel right.

I haven’t stopped thinking about that kiss. About how it made me feel. About how  _ you  _ make me feel. I know I left so quickly after it, and I’m damn sorry about that, but it was really overwhelming for me because one, it’s the first time I’ve ever kissed a boy and that’s kind of a big deal, and two,  _ you  _ were the boy I was kissing. I might’ve made it look really bad and like you’re just a fling, but you really aren’t. You really fucking aren’t.” Their cubicle is at the top of the wheel by the time he finishes reading the last line.

“So, to cut things short, all I gotta say is: I really,  _ really  _ like you, Felix Hayes. And it’d be pretty damn cool if you’d be my boyfriend.” He folds the paper back up and returns it to the inside of his pocket, looking at Felix like he’s the most beautiful person in the world. “From, Captain Ice Cream.”

The moment Steve stops talking, Felix takes Steve’s face in his hands and kisses him.

It’s like everything Steve remembered kissing Felix was like, and more. The sparks, the fireworks, the galaxies--everything written in a cliché romance novel is real, because Steve can feel it all at once. He grabs at Felix’s jacket, tugging him closer to him. Their mouths move like calm waves, lips connecting perfectly like puzzle pieces. Steve doesn’t want to stop, but Felix pulls away.

“Y’know… I’d be downright lying if I said you weren’t smooth. Us two being together? That is a pretty damn cool thought. Been thinking about that a lot, actually. So I better be seeing this cheesy-romantic side of you more often…” Felix pauses, giggling. “Schmarrington. I’d absolutely love to be your boyfriend. A million times yes.”

Steve pulls Felix into an embrace, placing a light kiss at the base of his neck. “Felix Hayes is my boyfriend. You’re my boyfriend. I’m your boyfriend.”

“I am your boyfriend, Steve Harrington,” Felix smiles, humming at the touch of Steve’s lips against his skin. “And you’re mine.”

Steve Harrington has a boyfriend now, and it feels so good. It feels so good to ignore all the pressuring standards and labels and roles that the world throws at him; having to go to college or work for his father, having to fit into whatever stereotypical high school label he’s given, and having to conform to what sexuality society deems as acceptable and unsinful. He’ll enroll himself into acting classes if it’ll get him away from his father’s unambitious job opportunity and closer to his dream of acting in a movie. Years prior to now, he couldn’t even conceptualize himself outside of high school. He spent so much time indulging in the popular, asshole jock brand that was forcefully slapped onto his name, and it ruined him for a while. For longer than he should’ve, all Steve did was fit that mould--now, he’s broken out of it.

Being straight or gay or both or whatever you choose to be automatically leads whoever knows your label to judge you for it. And Steve’s been judged. Before he even knew he liked men as much as he does women, people called him a player and would even congratulate him for it. It was gross, but it came with the popular jock package. Now that Steve’s left that image of himself behind, he’s not going to let people’s judgements and labels influence him. He’s never going to do that again. Because Steve is finally happy with who he is. And he’s especially happy that Felix is the one who gets to live through life with him.

Steve’s on top of the world; if Steve can date the most perfect boy ever, he can honestly accomplish anything after that.

“I think this might be the best birthday gift ever,” Felix says as they walk out from the ferris wheel, their arms linked together.

“Even over Norms Special?” Steve chuckles, glancing down at him.

Felix simpers. “It’s a close one.”

“Okay. Wow, thanks. My  _ boyfriend  _ likes food more than me.”

“Food’s a necessity, Stevie.”

“So should I be.”

“Narcissist.”

Steve fakes being offended, whining about how he’s going to go through withdrawals and never look in the mirror again. It makes Felix laugh, so Steve’s annoyance is worth it.

“Do you… do you wanna get out of here?” Felix says timidly. They’ve just passed by the food court and aren’t too far from the exit.

A smile blooms onto Steve’s lips. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

///

The ride to Felix’s house is shorter than the trip to the park. There isn’t as much traffic as expected, which is a good thing for both boys. Felix holds Steve’s hand for the entire drive, which was really cute of him, and they sing along to the music on the radio (the usual). Steve couldn’t stop glancing at his boyfriend, and he nearly ran a red light because of it. Felix’s looks really could kill.

Steve would call Felix cute and Felix would get all flustered for a fleeting moment then snap back with a line ten times flirtier than what Steve had originally said, and Steve would be speechless every time. This is the first time anyone’s really one-upped him when it comes to flirting, and Steve could get used to it. It makes him feel like a princess, or something, but you didn’t hear it from him.

“Do you wanna watch a movie or something?” Felix says once they step into his house, Felix hanging up his coat and setting the car keys on a hook by the door. “My dad just bought  _ Alien  _ on VHS--”

Steve’s not even listening to what he’s saying and he shuts him up by wrapping an arm around Felix’s front, twirling him towards him and latching his lips onto Felix’s. He feels Felix’s body relax against his from the brief scare Steve gave him.

“Someone’s eager,” Felix mutters against his lips, resting his hands on Steve’s shoulders.

“Shut up.”

“No.”

“Good.”

Felix sighs at that, and Steve smirks cockily. Steve begins unzipping his coat, not once parting their lips, tossing it to the floor by the welcome mat as they struggle to head to the staircase. Steve’s hands are cupping Felix’s jaw and Felix doesn’t know where to grab at so he roams his hands all over Steve’s torso. It drives Steve a little bit mad.

When they reach the base of the staircase, Steve doesn’t hesitate to swoop Felix off his feet and lift him up so he’s carrying him.

“That was hot,” Felix says, starry eyed. He clasps his arms around Steve’s neck and wraps his legs around Steve’s waist as Steve steps up the stairs.

“I know. But I also didn’t want us to fall down the stairs.”

“We could’ve just walked up?”

“Yeah, but then we’d have to stop kissing.”

“Steve, it takes two seconds to get up there.”

“Two wasted seconds.”

Felix chuckles and pulls Steve back in for a kiss. Steve ambles the hall before kicking Felix’s bedroom door open, bumping into his desk on the way to Felix’s bed. Felix yelps at the sound of Steve’s leg banging against the wood, the items on the top of his desk wobbling with the shake of the table.

“Sorry,” Steve says sheepishly.

Felix nods, jutting his chin towards his bed. “Bed.” His voice sounds deeper than usual. The simple command sends chills down Steve’s stomach.

“Who’s eager now?” Steve says lowly, lips twisting into a sneer.

“Oh, screw you.”

“I’m getting to that.”

Steve snickers at Felix’s embarrassed reaction then sets him on his bed, discarding his shirt before climbing on top of him. He runs his hands up Felix’s waist and chest and arms and up until he reaches his hands, intertwining their fingers together and holding them above Felix’s head. Steve’s mind is starting to fog up and he feels hazy and warm and his mind is filled with everything and anything relating to Felix.

“Can I?” Steve mumbles, tugging at the hem of Felix’s sweater.

“Yeah,” Felix responds breathlessly.

Slowly, Steve pushes the shirt off of Felix’s body, fleshy scars revealing themselves with every inch of fabric removed. He only looks at them for a quick moment, knowing how uncomfortable and disturbing they must be for Felix. He has to live with a nightmare permanently tainted to his skin; that doesn’t make Felix any less perfect.

Steve’s eyes fly up to Felix’s, and he smiles, softly. Leaning in, he presses a light kiss to Felix’s lips. “You’re beautiful, you know that?” Steve shifts down to Felix’s neck, Felix’s grip on Steve’s hands tightening as Steve peppers kisses down his jaw and neck and collar.

“Steve,” Felix says, but it’s merely a whisper.

“Mhm?”

“You’re perfect.”

Steve pulls away from Felix when he says that, hovering above his lover’s face. Steve fawns over Felix for a good minute, making sure he takes every second he gets to wallow in the pretty boy that is his boyfriend. He loves him so much.

Steve dips down and locks their lips together for the umpteenth time, his hands resting on Felix’s waist. Felix places his hands on Steve’s chest, the soothing warmth of his hands against his skin adding to the heat that’s building up within him. Steve releases from the kiss and returns to Felix’s neck, lapping his tongue over the spot where his jaw and his neck meet. Felix’s hands dart to Steve’s arms, his fingers digging into his bicep. Once Steve begins to suck at his skin, Felix is a goner.

“Stevie,” Felix moans, head lolling to the side opposite Steve. Steve hums against Felix’s skin, the sheer sound of his name rolling off Felix’s tongue with that tone sending tingles all over him. He removes his lips from the dark spot he had just etched into Felix’s neck, snaking an arm around Felix’s back and pulling him upwards, switching their positions and swinging Felix over his lap. Felix straddles Steve’s hips as he leans himself against the headboard, moving his hips towards Steve so that their clothed crotches press together. And Steve whines at that.

Felix seizes himself away from Steve, his eyes wide and filled with concern. “Are you okay? Oh my God.”

Steve chokes, shakes his head, then stares at him. “What? Yeah? Why’d you stop?”

“You sounded like you were in pain?”

Steve’s jaw drops in unbelief. “Oh my fucking God. No. It felt really good--geez, have you ever jerked off before?”

“Well, yeah! But I don’t sound like I just stubbed my toe!”

Steve is quiet for a moment, then he bursts out laughing. “I can’t believe you thought I--you fucking touched my dick, of course I made a noise.”

“Shut up! Just kiss me already. And monitor your sounds, I could’ve mistaken you for a dying cat.”

Steve groans and flicks a finger at Felix’s cheek before kissing him again, setting his hands upon Felix’s lower back. His fingers toy at the belt loops of Felix’s jeans, his thumbs rubbing circles at the exposed skin above them. Felix drops his hands down to Steve’s wrists, moving them aside and sliding back from Steve’s lap. Steve watches him with half-lidded eyes, his head lightly thudding against the wall as he rests it back. “Fuck, Felix,” Steve moans, low and raspy.

“That sounds better,” Felix teases, a cheeky grin tugging at his lips. Steve clicks his tongue and squints at his boyfriend. Felix chuckles and shyly places a palm over Steve’s crotch, receiving a groan from Steve, and trails warm, wet kisses down the span of Steve’s torso. Felix’s entire face and the majority of his body is tinted pink, and Steve finds Felix’s coyness quite cute. Steve brings his right hand up to Felix’s face, cupping his cheek as the left hand grips the bedsheets when Felix starts moving the hand that’s touching him. While Felix is about to unzip his jeans, he suddenly jolts upwards at the speed of light, the back of his head colliding with Steve’s chin.

“Jesus fuck!” Steve cries, holding his chin in his hands. “What the fuck happened!?”

“We forgot--” Felix is frantic, he’s already leaped off the bed. He holds his right hand up, the back of his hand facing Steve, “The kids!”

Steve’s skin goes white when he lays his eyes on the fading stamp from the fair on Felix’s hand. “Oh shit,” Steve spits, jumping off the bed and grabbing the nearest item of clothing. “Don’t we have a little bit of time, though?”

“Our dicks can wait, Steve!” They dress themselves in each other’s clothing--not that they noticed--and run down the stairs. Steve takes a glimpse at the clock above the front door, grimacing when he reads the time: seven twenty three PM.

“Can’t they--”

“Shut up!” Felix chucks Steve’s jacket straight at him, Steve whining at the zipper hitting him in his nose. “Let’s go!” Felix barks, the boy already out the door.

“I’m going!” Steve sprints after him, his shoes halfway on and his jacket unzipped.

Steve hops in the front seat and speeds down the road, his back hunched over and hands white-knuckling the steering wheel.

“Oh my God, we’re gonna be late--the kids are gonna freeze,” Felix panics.

“They’re gonna be fine, they’re grown. And we have twenty minutes to get there.”

“The trip takes half an hour! At the least!”

Steve scrunches his nose and shuts an eye, wincing. “We’ll get there. On time.”

///

They get back to the park at seven forty five and make a run for the entrance after the van is parked.

“Hi, can you let us in? We just left and forgot our things in the park,” Steve lies to the clerk at the ticket booth.

“Where are your tickets?” she says, narrowing her eyes at them. They both hold up their hands, revealing the stamps they acquired earlier. “I asked for the tickets, not the stamps.”

Steve mutters curses under his breath and pats down his jacket for the tickets, but to no avail. “Shit. Fuck, shit. They fell out at your place,” Steve whispers to Felix. Felix looks like he’s about to pass out.

“Okay, you know what,” Steve says to the clerk, fumbling for his wallet in his jeans, “Here you go. Now let us in.” Steve slaps a twenty on the counter. The clerk takes the bill and unlocks the gate, letting them through.

“She was an ass,” Steve says, running to the front plaza of the fair.

“Tell me about it!”

The kids are already waiting at the front, huddled together and eating what looks like miniature pies.

“Where’d you guys go?” Dustin says to them.

“Nowhere,” Felix replies, clearing his throat and straightening his back.

“You guys just came running from the entrance,” Max muses, pointing at the front gate.

“And?” Steve says, glaring at her. “We’re going. Let’s go!”

They spend five minutes trying to jam the prizes the kids had won in the trunk of the bus, each one of them whining about how their prize is gonna be squashed and deformed, Steve! He ends up making everyone hold their things and only leaving the giant plush hamster El had won in the trunk.

“Uh, Steve?” Will asks, leaning over Lucas to look at Steve in the rear-view mirror.

Steve’s driving intently and aggressively, like an old man late for his bingo game. “What?”

“Is that Felix’s sweater?”

Steve looks down at his chest. It is indeed Felix’s blue cashmere sweater. “No.”

“And isn’t that Steve’s burgundy shirt?” Lucas points out.

“Maroon! It’s maroon,” Dustin says.

“Does it fucking matter?” Max sighs.

“How did you change shirts so fast?” El adds in.

Mike crosses his arms. “Yeah, how did you guys change shirts so quick?”

Steve’s face reddens. “No more questions about our shirts!” he snaps. The kids go quiet. For ten minutes, maybe.

“What’s that on Felix’s neck?” Mike asks, suspicious. Steve turns to look at what Mike was talking about: a hickey.

“Nothing,” Steve and Felix both say in unison, Felix pulling up the collar of his coat to shield it. Felix is blushing and he’s facing the window, and Steve feels a little pride because of that.  _ He  _ made that love bite on  _ his boyfriend _ .

“Anyways. How was your guys’ day at the fair?” Felix asks, to change the subject.

“I won another Worm! I have two Worms now. Three if you count the real Worm,” Max chirps, holding up both stuffed snakes. They’re identical.

“I’m convinced you don’t have a real snake,” Steve says, honking at a slow car in front of him.

“Fuck you, I’m going to release Worm into your house. I know where you live, bitch boy,” Max scoffs, reaching her arm over the driver’s seat to pinch his neck. Steve whines and slaps her hand.

“Why do you know where he lives?” Mike asks.

“I steal from his house,” Max answers, Steve rolling his eyes.

“You’re so fucking weird,” Steve sighs as the car passes by the Welcome to Hawkins sign. By the time they reach home, the car is silent because the kids have fallen asleep. It’s peaceful; low music, Felix, and not a peep from the kids.

“Can I come over?” Steve asks Felix. Felix glares at him.

“Only to watch Alien. I actually really feel like watching it.”

Steve laughs, and nods. “Fine. We can like,” Steve stops to make sure all the kids are really asleep, “Cuddle. I can make dinner.”

“That’d be nice. Can you make mac n cheese?”

“I was expecting something fancier but yeah, I can. It’s easy.”

“Rad. I’ve only ever made boxed mac n cheese before.”

“Fair enough.”

They drop the kids off one by one until Steve and Felix are the only ones left, the last kid--Will--arriving at home at eight fifty, which is right on time. Steve returned Lucas’ walkie to him and made sure nobody forgot anything, each one of them saying “bye, thank you Steve! Thank you Felix!” whenever they left the van, which was actually really sweet. They did a fair job of fathering the kids; they got them to and from the fair safely, so that’s an accomplishment. Both parties had fun, too. Kids aren’t so bad.

At nine o’clock, they arrive home at Felix’s place. The house is still quiet, empty. But it has a different ambience from before. This one’s calmer, sweeter--more domestic. Steve glimpses at Felix, who’s already in the living room trying to find the VHS tape for  _ Alien _ . There’s something about Steve in the kitchen and his boyfriend setting up a movie that makes Steve all happy inside. It’s a small thing, and he doesn’t even know how to describe it.

The mac n cheese only takes ten minutes to make, but it ends up tasting delicious. Steve had used every cheese in Felix’s fridge as well as a couple of spices he had here and there, and the result turned out great. He had been half-assing most of the recipe, but it’s edible and tastes good so it’s quite a success.

“This is so good, when’d you learn to cook?” Felix says and turns to Steve, shoveling the macaroni into his mouth. They’ve moved from the living room up to Felix’s room because his bed is comfier and it was a little cold downstairs.

Steve pulls the comforter higher above his chest, taking bites from the bowl of mac n cheese in Felix’s hand. “Been cooking since I was a kid. Mom taught me cus my parents were always out, and I was a picky eater. Still am, but at least I can cook whatever I feel like eating.”

Felix nods and turns back to the small TV he had set up in his room. “My mom left when I was a kid, but I have my dad, though. I love him a lot, even though we don’t talk that much.”

“I’m like that but with my mom. Opposites really do attract, huh?” Steve smiles, kissing his boyfriend’s cheek.

“Course, we’re living proof of it.”

“Yeah? You’re close to your dad, I’m close to my mom, you like tea, I like coffee, you’re a night person, I’m a day person, I’m tall, you’re sh--”

Felix glares at him. “Okay, I get it.”

Steve suppresses a laugh and takes another bite from the macaroni. “Oh! Wait, pause the movie. I haven’t given you your birthday gift yet.”

“Oh my God, you really shouldn’t have--the fair was way more than enough,” Felix says, pausing the film.

“Well, too bad, I already got you it.” Steve fetches a small box from his backpack that was lounged on Felix’s desk chair, hopping back onto the bed. “It’s not anything big either, so don’t mouth me on spending too much money on you. I’ll spend however much money I want on my boyfriend.”

Felix sets the bowl of mac n cheese aside and sits up, smiling down at the present. “Thank you, Steve. Really.”

Steve leans in to press a kiss to his forehead. “No problem, Jukeboy. Now, open it. I’m too excited for you to see it--I mean, I hope you like it.”

Felix begins uncovering the poorly wrapped box, snorting at the badly drawn doodle of a guitar on the top of the box. (“Hey, I tried my best!” “I didn’t even say anything!”) Letting his laughter die down, Felix removes the lid of the box. When his eyes land on the two gifts sitting within the box, his smile softens and his eyes gloss up.

“I uh… wanted to get you something meaningful. So I painted you a personalized bottle cap since you like ‘em so much--there’s a pin on it so you can put it on the denim jacket you always wear--and made you a mixtape. I figured since you’ve made me so many mixes,  _ I  _ owe  _ you  _ now. There’s only a few songs on there because I kept fucking up the tape so I just left it there. And it gives me an excuse to make you more.” Steve sheepishly rubs the back of his neck and grins wryly.

Felix is silent, and it scares Steve just a tad because he thinks Felix doesn’t like his present. He knows the bottle cap didn’t turn out perfectly, but his artistic prowess isn’t  _ that  _ terrible. “I know it isn’t a lot and it kinda looks like shit but--”

“I love it,” Felix interrupts, his eyes shifting from the gift up to Steve. He sways forward and kisses Steve in addition to his thank you. “I really,  _ really  _ love it, Steve. I’m gonna listen to it every day and never take the pin off.”

“Wouldn’t you get bored of those same eight songs on loop?”

“No, because I’ll be thinking about you the entire time. And you’re far from boring.”

Steve smiles, teeth pressing into his bottom lip. “You’re so cute. My boyfriend is so cute. Like really,  _ really  _ cute. He’s so perfect.”

“Well, I think that  _ my  _ boyfriend is beyond perfect. He has like, these little beauty spots everywhere and floppy hair and a really dumb smile but I think it’s adorable.”

Steve blushes. His entire body blushes and he’s never been complimented like that before. He really loves Felix for that. “The man you’re describing  _ does  _ sound pretty cute. You got his number?”

Felix’s jaw drops into an open mouthed smile and he mockingly glares at Steve. “You’re so annoying, oh my God.”

“You love it,” Steve teases.

“Sadly.”

“Hey!”

Felix giggles. “Can we continue the movie now?”

“Oh yeah. We can do that.” Climbing out of bed, Steve unpauses the movie and hops back into bed, wrapping an arm around Felix and yanking the blankets up to their chins. Felix watches and actively comments on the movie enthusiastically, which is really endearing. He enjoys it thoroughly, even giving Steve a review of it after the movie finishes. Steve couldn’t even pay attention to the film because he was busy admiring everything Felix did, even if it was just little things like awing at the cinematography or cheering on the main protagonist. Everything about Felix feels new, in the best way possible.

When the film ends, Steve heads to the bathroom to wash his hands after spilling some of the leftover macaroni on his--Felix’s--sweater. He rubs a damp towel over the soiled fabric, grumbling to himself about how it’ll stain. The sweater barely fits him, the sleeves going down to his forearms and the hem of it just below his waist. If he were to stretch, his entire stomach would be exposed. Once the sweater is cleaned, he leaves the bathroom to return to Felix’s room, but is interrupted on the way there.

“Steve? What’re you doing here?” says Andrew Hayes who’s progressing up the staircase, still sporting an autumn coat. He takes a glimpse at the sweater Steve’s in, and Steve hopes to God he doesn’t register that Steve’s wearing his son’s clothes.

Steve gulps, tugging nervously at the collar of the shirt. “Oh, Felix and I were watching Alien. Dropped by to give him his birthday present, too.”

“I thought you two went to the fair with the kids?”

“We did! That was this afternoon. Felix invited me over. To watch Alien.”

“Hm. I thought you’d be home by now, but it’s nice seeing you, Steve.”

“You too, Mr. Hayes. Hope work is treating you well!” Steve offers him a grimace before slipping back into Felix’s room, thumping to the floor in front of the door.

“What happened?” Felix asks, popping out from the blankets.

“Just bumped into your dad.”

“Oh shit, he’s home? Did he see you?”

“Well, yeah, I just said I bumped into him.”

Felix wrinkles his lips. “Did he say anything?”

“He said it was nice seeing me and he didn’t know I would still be here. He also looked at my-- _ your  _ sweater. Didn’t say anything about it though.”

“Oh my God, he saw you wearing my sweater? Jesus Christ, that’s not good, that is not good!”

Steve crawls up to the bed and holds Felix’s face in his hands. “Woah, calm down, he didn’t catch me, or us. Okay? He probably just saw the massive cheese stain on it. You’re good, we’re good.” He pecks Felix’s forehead, letting his hands drop onto Felix’s lap.

“Okay. Okay.” Felix sighs and his eyes follow Steve’s hands, Felix blinking at what he’s seeing. “Did you paint your nails?”

Steve looks down at his left hand, the hand with his fingers painted white. “Oh yeah, Nance painted ‘em while I was at her place a while ago. She let me borrow her nail polishes to paint your little bottle cap pin. Then she painted my nails because she wanted me to match with her.”

“Oh. That’s nice. It looks cute.” Felix nods, but he looks a little nervous.

Steve sighs and takes Felix’s hands in his. “Hey, if you’re thinking what I’m thinking, quit it. Nance and I aren’t anything more than friends now. She doesn’t like me that way anymore. She doesn’t even like Jonathan. I think she just wants some time off from dating, maybe. Besides, I got you as my boyfriend. Can’t think of anything better than that.”

A crooked grin forms on Felix’s face. “Okay, boyfriend. Can’t think of anything better than dating you either,” Felix says, squeezing Steve’s hands.

“Look at us being all romantic,” Steve responds, then yawns. “What time is it anyways?”

Felix peeks over Steve’s shoulder to look up at the clock he has mounted by the door. “Fifteen to twelve.”

Steve’s suddenly awake. “Oh, shit. My parents should be home by now--I was supposed to be home early, they don’t even know I’m out--”

“Then get your ass out of here, idiot!”

Steve hops off the bed and collects all his things, shoving them all in his backpack. He throws on his jacket and slings his bag over a shoulder, making his way to Felix’s window.

“What are you doing? The front door is available.” Felix climbs out of bed, a puzzled expression washed over him.

“I wanna do something.” Steve doesn’t even let Felix argue with him because he’s already out the window and clinging to the tree outside.

“What the hell are you doing!” Felix shouts, poking his head out the window, shivering at the sudden gust of wind that hit him.

“Romeo and Juliet. The balcony scene. Remember? Last year in english class.”

Felix is quiet for a second. “You were barely in class for that unit.”

“Yeah, but I remember the balcony scene. And now that I’ve found my Juliet…” Steve’s grinning, his nose and cheeks and ears already red from the cold.

Felix smiles, light laughter leaving his mouth. “Why am I Juliet?”

“You’re the one on the balcony, aren’t you?”

“I don’t even have a balcony.”

Steve opens his mouth to retort, but then realizes that Felix is correct. “Okay. Fair. But it’s close. Now kiss me goodbye, Juliet.”

Felix hesitates to lean over the ledge of his window, looking back at his door to make sure nobody would come in. From the branch he’s roosted up on, Steve tips forward to latch lips with his boyfriend, smiling against his lips. The kiss is brief, but it warms Steve up like a hug to his heart.

“Okay, now go. I don’t want your parents yelling at you,  _ Romeo _ .”

Steve grins widely. “You called me Romeo! That’s so cute of you.”

“Shut up, go home. I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe?”

“Will do.” Steve climbs down the tree and when he reaches the bottom, he looks up to Felix’s bedroom window, cupping his hands around his mouth to amplify his voice. “Goodnight,  _ Jukeboyfriend! _ ”

Felix waves. “Good n--wait, what did you call me?” Steve’s already gone by the time he asks that, avoiding the series of scolding Felix would give him for that terrible pun to a nickname.

Steve’s being honest about having finally found his Juliet. Steve has always secretly strived for love like what he has with Felix, and he genuinely thought he had already found it in Nancy--but his love wasn’t returned. That being said, he still wouldn’t take anything back with what he had with his Rosaline. He knows that Nancy loves him, but not like how Juliet loves Romeo. Steve finally found his Juliet, and he found her in a boy.

The lights are out inside his house when Steve arrives home, the shoddy clock on the dashboard reading eleven fifty seven. He should’ve been home seven hours ago, but Steve isn’t a time traveler so he walks up to the front door and hopes that nobody’s awake.

Creaking the door open, he quietly slips his shoes off and proceeds to climb up the stairs. He encounters his mother, the lady walking out of the bathroom with her pink bathrobe and a towel around her hair.

“Steven! Mon dieu, don’t scare me like that!” She yelps, holding a hand to her chest.

“Oh, ah--désolé, maman.”

“Why are you home so late, mon petit? You were supposed to be home hours ago?” she says, her french drawl thick.

“I was uh, out. Went to the fall fair with the kids.”

His mom nods, slowly, and fixates her eyes on Steve’s sweater hidden under his unzipped jacket. “C’est quoi sa? Whose shirt is that?”

Steve’s eyes dart down to the shirt he’s wearing. A blue cashmere sweater with a food stain on it. Even after acknowledging this back at Felix’s place, he still forgot to change out of it. “It’s mine,” Steve lies, tugging down the hem of the sweater in attempt of altering its appearance to fit him.

“Steven, I know I’m not home a lot but I’ve done your laundry enough times to know what’s in your closet.”

Successfully lying to a mother is probably one of the hardest things to do, and now he has to tell her the truth. The opportunity to come out to his mom is right there in his reach, but even knowing how loving she is, the thought of saying the words to her still makes Steve’s nerves go haywire. But if he misses this chance, he doesn’t know when the next one will come up. Or if it’ll ever come up again. So, Steve takes his chance.

“It’s my boyfriend’s sweater.”

Both Steve and his mother are silent. Steve’s sweating and his mind is starting to fog up and his heart is pounding and he feels his chest caving in and he can’t think straight. He can’t even decipher his mother’s thoughts because she’s quiet as a mouse and her blank expression isn’t helping. Steve wants to sink into the floor.

“Have I… Have I met him? Is he nice?” she finally says, her voice hesitant, but accepting. Steve closes his eyes and lets out a deep breath of relief. He thanks every ethereal being out there that his father isn’t the one in his mother’s place. He doesn’t even want to think about his father’s potential reaction.

“Yeah, he is nice. You’ve seen him before. Felix. The boy that comes over the most.”

“The boy with the brown hair?”

“Which one?”

“The shorter one.”

Steve laughs, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, that’s him.”

“Okay, mon petit. Je t’aime beaucoup, tu m’entends?” She places a hand on Steve’s shoulder, squeezing it affectionately.

“I love you too, mom. Just don’t… don’t tell dad,  _ please _ .”

Steve’s mother gives him a look of promise and sincerity, her lips thinning and tweaking upwards into a smile. “Okay, you tell him when you’re ready.’

“Can I… can I hug you now?”

Steve falls into his mother’s arms, crouching to embrace his mother’s short frame. Her hug is so warm and comforting and everything Steve needs after saying that. Not everyone gets a good experience like Steve just did, and the stigma around queer people is almost all negative. He’s thankful that the majority of the people around him--Nancy, the kids, and now his mother--are okay with it. Steve’s sexuality is okay, and he’s happy people know it’s okay, too.


End file.
